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Twelfth Night

1599–1600

William Shakespeare's signature

William Shakespeare


This is the Bookwise complete ebook of Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare, available to read online as an alternative to epub, mobi, kindle, pdf or text only versions. For information about the status of this work, see Copyright Notice.


Summary

Viola finds herself shipwrecked in Illyria and, assuming that her brother Sebastian has died in the wreck, disguises herself as a man to gain a position in Duke Orsino's court. Orsino sends Viola (whom he knows as Cesario) to deliver a message to his love, Olivia. Olivia, however, dislikes the Duke. She falls in love with Viola, who she thinks is a man. Eventually, Viola's brother Sebastian, who in fact was unharmed in the wreck, reappears. At a critical moment, Viola's true identity is revealed when members of the court notice the similarities between her and Sebastian. Olivia quickly falls in love with Sebastian, and Viola confesses her love for the Duke.

Source: Wikipedia

Dramatis Personæ

Dramatis Personæ

Viola, a lady of Messaline shipwrecked on the coast of Illyria (later disguised as Cesario)

Olivia, an Illyrian countess

Maria, her waiting-gentlewoman

Sir Toby Belch, Olivia’s kinsman

Sir Andrew Aguecheek, Sir Toby’s companion

Malvolio, steward in Olivia’s household

Fool, Olivia’s jester, named Feste

Fabian, a gentleman in Olivia’s household

Orsino, duke (or count) of Illyria

Valentine

Curio

gentlemen serving Orsino

Sebastian, Viola’s brother

Antonio, friend to Sebastian

Captain

Priest

Two Officers

Lords, Sailors, Musicians, and other Attendants


ACT 1


Scene 1

Enter Orsino, Duke of Illyria, Curio, and other Lords, with Musicians playing.

ORSINO
line 0001If music be the food of love, play on.
line 0002Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
line 0003The appetite may sicken and so die.
line 0004That strain again! It had a dying fall.
5line 0005O, it came o’er my ear like the sweet sound
line 0006That breathes upon a bank of violets,
line 0007Stealing and giving odor. Enough; no more.
line 0008’Tis not so sweet now as it was before.
line 0009O spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou,
10line 0010That, notwithstanding thy capacity
line 0011Receiveth as the sea, naught enters there,
line 0012Of what validity and pitch soe’er,
line 0013But falls into abatement and low price
line 0014Even in a minute. So full of shapes is fancy
15line 0015That it alone is high fantastical.
CURIO
line 0016Will you go hunt, my lord?
line 0017ORSINOWhat, Curio?
line 0018CURIOThe hart.
ORSINO
line 0019Why, so I do, the noblest that I have.
20line 0020O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first,
Act 1 Scene 2 - Pg 9 line 0021Methought she purged the air of pestilence.
line 0022That instant was I turned into a hart,
line 0023And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds,
line 0024E’er since pursue me.

Enter Valentine.

25line 0025How now, what news from her?
VALENTINE
line 0026So please my lord, I might not be admitted,
line 0027But from her handmaid do return this answer:
line 0028The element itself, till seven years’ heat,
line 0029Shall not behold her face at ample view,
30line 0030But like a cloistress she will veilèd walk,
line 0031And water once a day her chamber round
line 0032With eye-offending brine—all this to season
line 0033A brother’s dead love, which she would keep fresh
line 0034And lasting in her sad remembrance.
ORSINO
35line 0035O, she that hath a heart of that fine frame
line 0036To pay this debt of love but to a brother,
line 0037How will she love when the rich golden shaft
line 0038Hath killed the flock of all affections else
line 0039That live in her; when liver, brain, and heart,
40line 0040These sovereign thrones, are all supplied, and filled
line 0041Her sweet perfections with one self king!
line 0042Away before me to sweet beds of flowers!
line 0043Love thoughts lie rich when canopied with bowers.

They exit.


Scene 2

Enter Viola, a Captain, and Sailors.

line 0044VIOLAWhat country, friends, is this?
line 0045CAPTAINThis is Illyria, lady.
VIOLA
line 0046And what should I do in Illyria?
Act 1 Scene 2 - Pg 11 line 0047My brother he is in Elysium.
5line 0048Perchance he is not drowned.—What think you,
line 0049sailors?
CAPTAIN
line 0050It is perchance that you yourself were saved.
VIOLA
line 0051O, my poor brother! And so perchance may he be.
CAPTAIN
line 0052True, madam. And to comfort you with chance,
10line 0053Assure yourself, after our ship did split,
line 0054When you and those poor number saved with you
line 0055Hung on our driving boat, I saw your brother,
line 0056Most provident in peril, bind himself
line 0057(Courage and hope both teaching him the practice)
15line 0058To a strong mast that lived upon the sea,
line 0059Where, like Arion on the dolphin’s back,
line 0060I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves
line 0061So long as I could see.
line 0062VIOLAgiving him money For saying so, there’s gold.
20line 0063Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope,
line 0064Whereto thy speech serves for authority,
line 0065The like of him. Know’st thou this country?
CAPTAIN
line 0066Ay, madam, well, for I was bred and born
line 0067Not three hours’ travel from this very place.
25line 0068VIOLAWho governs here?
CAPTAIN
line 0069A noble duke, in nature as in name.
line 0070VIOLAWhat is his name?
line 0071CAPTAINOrsino.
VIOLA
line 0072Orsino. I have heard my father name him.
30line 0073He was a bachelor then.
CAPTAIN
line 0074And so is now, or was so very late;
line 0075For but a month ago I went from hence,
Act 1 Scene 2 - Pg 13 line 0076And then ’twas fresh in murmur (as, you know,
line 0077What great ones do the less will prattle of)
35line 0078That he did seek the love of fair Olivia.
line 0079VIOLAWhat’s she?
CAPTAIN
line 0080A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count
line 0081That died some twelvemonth since, then leaving her
line 0082In the protection of his son, her brother,
40line 0083Who shortly also died, for whose dear love,
line 0084They say, she hath abjured the sight
line 0085And company of men.
line 0086VIOLAO, that I served that lady,
line 0087And might not be delivered to the world
45line 0088Till I had made mine own occasion mellow,
line 0089What my estate is.
line 0090CAPTAINThat were hard to compass
line 0091Because she will admit no kind of suit,
line 0092No, not the Duke’s.
VIOLA
50line 0093There is a fair behavior in thee, captain,
line 0094And though that nature with a beauteous wall
line 0095Doth oft close in pollution, yet of thee
line 0096I will believe thou hast a mind that suits
line 0097With this thy fair and outward character.
55line 0098I prithee—and I’ll pay thee bounteously—
line 0099Conceal me what I am, and be my aid
line 0100For such disguise as haply shall become
line 0101The form of my intent. I’ll serve this duke.
line 0102Thou shalt present me as an eunuch to him.
60line 0103It may be worth thy pains, for I can sing
line 0104And speak to him in many sorts of music
line 0105That will allow me very worth his service.
line 0106What else may hap, to time I will commit.
line 0107Only shape thou thy silence to my wit.
CAPTAIN
65line 0108Be you his eunuch, and your mute I’ll be.
Act 1 Scene 3 - Pg 15 line 0109When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see.
line 0110VIOLAI thank thee. Lead me on.

They exit.


Scene 3

Enter Sir Toby and Maria.

line 0111TOBYWhat a plague means my niece to take the death
line 0112of her brother thus? I am sure care’s an enemy to
line 0113life.
line 0114MARIABy my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier
5line 0115o’ nights. Your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions
line 0116to your ill hours.
line 0117TOBYWhy, let her except before excepted!
line 0118MARIAAy, but you must confine yourself within the
line 0119modest limits of order.
10line 0120TOBYConfine? I’ll confine myself no finer than I am.
line 0121These clothes are good enough to drink in, and so
line 0122be these boots too. An they be not, let them hang
line 0123themselves in their own straps!
line 0124MARIAThat quaffing and drinking will undo you. I
15line 0125heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish
line 0126knight that you brought in one night here to be her
line 0127wooer.
line 0128TOBYWho, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?
line 0129MARIAAy, he.
20line 0130TOBYHe’s as tall a man as any ’s in Illyria.
line 0131MARIAWhat’s that to th’ purpose?
line 0132TOBYWhy, he has three thousand ducats a year!
line 0133MARIAAy, but he’ll have but a year in all these ducats.
line 0134He’s a very fool and a prodigal.
25line 0135TOBYFie that you’ll say so! He plays o’ th’ viol-de-gamboys
line 0136and speaks three or four languages word
line 0137for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of
line 0138nature.
Act 1 Scene 3 - Pg 17 line 0139MARIAHe hath indeed, almost natural, for, besides
30line 0140that he’s a fool, he’s a great quarreler, and, but that
line 0141he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath
line 0142in quarreling, ’tis thought among the prudent he
line 0143would quickly have the gift of a grave.
line 0144TOBYBy this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors
35line 0145that say so of him. Who are they?
line 0146MARIAThey that add, moreover, he’s drunk nightly in
line 0147your company.
line 0148TOBYWith drinking healths to my niece. I’ll drink to
line 0149her as long as there is a passage in my throat and
40line 0150drink in Illyria. He’s a coward and a coistrel that
line 0151will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o’ th’
line 0152toe like a parish top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo,
line 0153for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.

Enter Sir Andrew.

line 0154ANDREWSir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch?
45line 0155TOBYSweet Sir Andrew!
line 0156ANDREWto Maria Bless you, fair shrew.
line 0157MARIAAnd you too, sir.
line 0158TOBYAccost, Sir Andrew, accost!
line 0159ANDREWWhat’s that?
50line 0160TOBYMy niece’s chambermaid.
line 0161ANDREWGood Mistress Accost, I desire better
line 0162acquaintance.
line 0163MARIAMy name is Mary, sir.
line 0164ANDREWGood Mistress Mary Accost—
55line 0165TOBYYou mistake, knight. “Accost” is front her, board
line 0166her, woo her, assail her.
line 0167ANDREWBy my troth, I would not undertake her in
line 0168this company. Is that the meaning of “accost”?
line 0169MARIAFare you well, gentlemen.She begins to exit.
60line 0170TOBYAn thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou
line 0171mightst never draw sword again.
line 0172ANDREWAn you part so, mistress, I would I might
Act 1 Scene 3 - Pg 19 line 0173never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you
line 0174have fools in hand?
65line 0175MARIASir, I have not you by th’ hand.
line 0176ANDREWMarry, but you shall have, and here’s my
line 0177hand.He offers his hand.
line 0178MARIAtaking his hand Now sir, thought is free. I
line 0179pray you, bring your hand to th’ butt’ry bar and let
70line 0180it drink.
line 0181ANDREWWherefore, sweetheart? What’s your
line 0182metaphor?
line 0183MARIAIt’s dry, sir.
line 0184ANDREWWhy, I think so. I am not such an ass but I
75line 0185can keep my hand dry. But what’s your jest?
line 0186MARIAA dry jest, sir.
line 0187ANDREWAre you full of them?
line 0188MARIAAy, sir, I have them at my fingers’ ends. Marry,
line 0189now I let go your hand, I am barren.Maria exits.
80line 0190TOBYO knight, thou lack’st a cup of canary! When did
line 0191I see thee so put down?
line 0192ANDREWNever in your life, I think, unless you see
line 0193canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have
line 0194no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man
85line 0195has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that
line 0196does harm to my wit.
line 0197TOBYNo question.
line 0198ANDREWAn I thought that, I’d forswear it. I’ll ride
line 0199home tomorrow, Sir Toby.
90line 0200TOBYPourquoi, my dear knight?
line 0201ANDREWWhat is “pourquoi”? Do, or not do? I would I
line 0202had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in
line 0203fencing, dancing, and bearbaiting. O, had I but
line 0204followed the arts!
95line 0205TOBYThen hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.
line 0206ANDREWWhy, would that have mended my hair?
line 0207TOBYPast question, for thou seest it will not curl by
line 0208nature.
Act 1 Scene 3 - Pg 21 line 0209ANDREWBut it becomes me well enough, does ’t not?
100line 0210TOBYExcellent! It hangs like flax on a distaff, and I
line 0211hope to see a huswife take thee between her legs
line 0212and spin it off.
line 0213ANDREWFaith, I’ll home tomorrow, Sir Toby. Your
line 0214niece will not be seen, or if she be, it’s four to one
105line 0215she’ll none of me. The Count himself here hard by
line 0216woos her.
line 0217TOBYShe’ll none o’ th’ Count. She’ll not match above
line 0218her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit. I have
line 0219heard her swear ’t. Tut, there’s life in ’t, man.
110line 0220ANDREWI’ll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o’ th’
line 0221strangest mind i’ th’ world. I delight in masques
line 0222and revels sometimes altogether.
line 0223TOBYArt thou good at these kickshawses, knight?
line 0224ANDREWAs any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be,
115line 0225under the degree of my betters, and yet I will not
line 0226compare with an old man.
line 0227TOBYWhat is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?
line 0228ANDREWFaith, I can cut a caper.
line 0229TOBYAnd I can cut the mutton to ’t.
120line 0230ANDREWAnd I think I have the back-trick simply as
line 0231strong as any man in Illyria.
line 0232TOBYWherefore are these things hid? Wherefore have
line 0233these gifts a curtain before ’em? Are they like to
line 0234take dust, like Mistress Mall’s picture? Why dost
125line 0235thou not go to church in a galliard and come home
line 0236in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig. I would
line 0237not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace.
line 0238What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues
line 0239in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy
130line 0240leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.
line 0241ANDREWAy, ’tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a
line 0242dun-colored stock. Shall we set about some
line 0243revels?
Act 1 Scene 4 - Pg 23 line 0244TOBYWhat shall we do else? Were we not born under
135line 0245Taurus?
line 0246ANDREWTaurus? That’s sides and heart.
line 0247TOBYNo, sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me see thee
line 0248caper. Sir Andrew dances. Ha, higher! Ha, ha,
line 0249excellent!

They exit.


Scene 4

Enter Valentine, and Viola in man’s attire as Cesario.

line 0250VALENTINEIf the Duke continue these favors towards
line 0251you, Cesario, you are like to be much advanced. He
line 0252hath known you but three days, and already you
line 0253are no stranger.
5line 0254VIOLAYou either fear his humor or my negligence, that
line 0255you call in question the continuance of his love. Is
line 0256he inconstant, sir, in his favors?
line 0257VALENTINENo, believe me.
line 0258VIOLAI thank you.

Enter Orsino, Curio, and Attendants.

10line 0259Here comes the Count.
line 0260ORSINOWho saw Cesario, ho?
line 0261VIOLAOn your attendance, my lord, here.
ORSINOto Curio and Attendants
line 0262Stand you awhile aloof.—Cesario,
line 0263Thou know’st no less but all. I have unclasped
15line 0264To thee the book even of my secret soul.
line 0265Therefore, good youth, address thy gait unto her.
line 0266Be not denied access. Stand at her doors
line 0267And tell them, there thy fixèd foot shall grow
line 0268Till thou have audience.
20line 0269VIOLASure, my noble lord,
line 0270If she be so abandoned to her sorrow
line 0271As it is spoke, she never will admit me.
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 25 ORSINO
line 0272Be clamorous and leap all civil bounds
line 0273Rather than make unprofited return.
VIOLA
25line 0274Say I do speak with her, my lord, what then?
ORSINO
line 0275O, then unfold the passion of my love.
line 0276Surprise her with discourse of my dear faith.
line 0277It shall become thee well to act my woes.
line 0278She will attend it better in thy youth
30line 0279Than in a nuncio’s of more grave aspect.
VIOLA
line 0280I think not so, my lord.
line 0281ORSINODear lad, believe it;
line 0282For they shall yet belie thy happy years
line 0283That say thou art a man. Diana’s lip
35line 0284Is not more smooth and rubious, thy small pipe
line 0285Is as the maiden’s organ, shrill and sound,
line 0286And all is semblative a womans part.
line 0287I know thy constellation is right apt
line 0288For this affair.—Some four or five attend him,
40line 0289All, if you will, for I myself am best
line 0290When least in company.—Prosper well in this
line 0291And thou shalt live as freely as thy lord,
line 0292To call his fortunes thine.
line 0293VIOLAI’ll do my best
45line 0294To woo your lady. Aside. Yet a barful strife!
line 0295Whoe’er I woo, myself would be his wife.

They exit.


Scene 5

Enter Maria and Feste, the Fool.

line 0296MARIANay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I
line 0297will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 27 line 0298in way of thy excuse. My lady will hang thee for thy
line 0299absence.
5line 0300FOOLLet her hang me. He that is well hanged in this
line 0301world needs to fear no colors.
line 0302MARIAMake that good.
line 0303FOOLHe shall see none to fear.
line 0304MARIAA good Lenten answer. I can tell thee where
10line 0305that saying was born, of “I fear no colors.”
line 0306FOOLWhere, good Mistress Mary?
line 0307MARIAIn the wars; and that may you be bold to say in
line 0308your foolery.
line 0309FOOLWell, God give them wisdom that have it, and
15line 0310those that are Fools, let them use their talents.
line 0311MARIAYet you will be hanged for being so long absent.
line 0312Or to be turned away, is not that as good as a
line 0313hanging to you?
line 0314FOOLMany a good hanging prevents a bad marriage,
20line 0315and, for turning away, let summer bear it out.
line 0316MARIAYou are resolute, then?
line 0317FOOLNot so, neither, but I am resolved on two points.
line 0318MARIAThat if one break, the other will hold, or if both
line 0319break, your gaskins fall.
25line 0320FOOLApt, in good faith, very apt. Well, go thy way. If Sir
line 0321Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a
line 0322piece of Eve’s flesh as any in Illyria.
line 0323MARIAPeace, you rogue. No more o’ that. Here comes
line 0324my lady. Make your excuse wisely, you were best.

She exits.

Enter Lady Olivia with Malvolio and Attendants.

30line 0325FOOLaside Wit, an ’t be thy will, put me into good
line 0326fooling! Those wits that think they have thee do very
line 0327oft prove fools, and I that am sure I lack thee may
line 0328pass for a wise man. For what says Quinapalus?
line 0329“Better a witty Fool than a foolish wit.”—God bless
35line 0330thee, lady!
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 29 line 0331OLIVIATake the Fool away.
line 0332FOOLDo you not hear, fellows? Take away the Lady.
line 0333OLIVIAGo to, you’re a dry Fool. I’ll no more of you.
line 0334Besides, you grow dishonest.
40line 0335FOOLTwo faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel
line 0336will amend. For give the dry Fool drink, then is
line 0337the Fool not dry. Bid the dishonest man mend
line 0338himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if he
line 0339cannot, let the botcher mend him. Anything that’s
45line 0340mended is but patched; virtue that transgresses is
line 0341but patched with sin, and sin that amends is but
line 0342patched with virtue. If that this simple syllogism
line 0343will serve, so; if it will not, what remedy? As there is
line 0344no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty’s a flower.
50line 0345The Lady bade take away the Fool. Therefore, I say
line 0346again, take her away.
line 0347OLIVIASir, I bade them take away you.
line 0348FOOLMisprision in the highest degree! Lady, cucullus
line 0349non facit monachum. That’s as much to say as, I
55line 0350wear not motley in my brain. Good madonna, give
line 0351me leave to prove you a fool.
line 0352OLIVIACan you do it?
line 0353FOOLDexteriously, good madonna.
line 0354OLIVIAMake your proof.
60line 0355FOOLI must catechize you for it, madonna. Good my
line 0356mouse of virtue, answer me.
line 0357OLIVIAWell, sir, for want of other idleness, I’ll bide
line 0358your proof.
line 0359FOOLGood madonna, why mourn’st thou?
65line 0360OLIVIAGood Fool, for my brother’s death.
line 0361FOOLI think his soul is in hell, madonna.
line 0362OLIVIAI know his soul is in heaven, Fool.
line 0363FOOLThe more fool, madonna, to mourn for your
line 0364brother’s soul, being in heaven. Take away the fool,
70line 0365gentlemen.
line 0366OLIVIAWhat think you of this Fool, Malvolio? Doth he
line 0367not mend?
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 31 line 0368MALVOLIOYes, and shall do till the pangs of death
line 0369shake him. Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth
75line 0370ever make the better Fool.
line 0371FOOLGod send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the
line 0372better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn
line 0373that I am no fox, but he will not pass his word for
line 0374twopence that you are no fool.
80line 0375OLIVIAHow say you to that, Malvolio?
line 0376MALVOLIOI marvel your Ladyship takes delight in
line 0377such a barren rascal. I saw him put down the other
line 0378day with an ordinary fool that has no more brain
line 0379than a stone. Look you now, he’s out of his guard
85line 0380already. Unless you laugh and minister occasion to
line 0381him, he is gagged. I protest I take these wise men
line 0382that crow so at these set kind of Fools no better than
line 0383the Fools’ zanies.
line 0384OLIVIAO, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste
90line 0385with a distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless,
line 0386and of free disposition is to take those things
line 0387for bird-bolts that you deem cannon bullets. There
line 0388is no slander in an allowed Fool, though he do
line 0389nothing but rail; nor no railing in a known discreet
95line 0390man, though he do nothing but reprove.
line 0391FOOLNow Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou
line 0392speak’st well of Fools!

Enter Maria.

line 0393MARIAMadam, there is at the gate a young gentleman
line 0394much desires to speak with you.
100line 0395OLIVIAFrom the Count Orsino, is it?
line 0396MARIAI know not, madam. ’Tis a fair young man, and
line 0397well attended.
line 0398OLIVIAWho of my people hold him in delay?
line 0399MARIASir Toby, madam, your kinsman.
105line 0400OLIVIAFetch him off, I pray you. He speaks nothing
line 0401but madman. Fie on him! Maria exits. Go you,
line 0402Malvolio. If it be a suit from the Count, I am sick,
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 33 line 0403or not at home; what you will, to dismiss it. Malvolio exits.
line 0404Now you see, sir, how your fooling
110line 0405grows old, and people dislike it.
line 0406FOOLThou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest
line 0407son should be a Fool, whose skull Jove cram with
line 0408brains, for—here he comes—one of thy kin has a
line 0409most weak pia mater.

Enter Sir Toby.

115line 0410OLIVIABy mine honor, half drunk!—What is he at the
line 0411gate, cousin?
line 0412TOBYA gentleman.
line 0413OLIVIAA gentleman? What gentleman?
line 0414TOBY’Tis a gentleman here—a plague o’ these pickle
120line 0415herring!—How now, sot?
line 0416FOOLGood Sir Toby.
line 0417OLIVIACousin, cousin, how have you come so early by
line 0418this lethargy?
line 0419TOBYLechery? I defy lechery. There’s one at the gate.
125line 0420OLIVIAAy, marry, what is he?
line 0421TOBYLet him be the devil an he will, I care not. Give
line 0422me faith, say I. Well, it’s all one.He exits.
line 0423OLIVIAWhat’s a drunken man like, Fool?
line 0424FOOLLike a drowned man, a fool, and a madman. One
130line 0425draught above heat makes him a fool, the second
line 0426mads him, and a third drowns him.
line 0427OLIVIAGo thou and seek the crowner and let him sit o’
line 0428my coz, for he’s in the third degree of drink: he’s
line 0429drowned. Go look after him.
135line 0430FOOLHe is but mad yet, madonna, and the Fool shall
line 0431look to the madman.He exits.

Enter Malvolio.

line 0432MALVOLIOMadam, yond young fellow swears he will
line 0433speak with you. I told him you were sick; he takes
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 35 line 0434on him to understand so much, and therefore
140line 0435comes to speak with you. I told him you were
line 0436asleep; he seems to have a foreknowledge of that
line 0437too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is
line 0438to be said to him, lady? He’s fortified against any
line 0439denial.
145line 0440OLIVIATell him he shall not speak with me.
line 0441MALVOLIOHas been told so, and he says he’ll stand at
line 0442your door like a sheriff’s post and be the supporter
line 0443to a bench, but he’ll speak with you.
line 0444OLIVIAWhat kind o’ man is he?
150line 0445MALVOLIOWhy, of mankind.
line 0446OLIVIAWhat manner of man?
line 0447MALVOLIOOf very ill manner. He’ll speak with you,
line 0448will you or no.
line 0449OLIVIAOf what personage and years is he?
155line 0450MALVOLIONot yet old enough for a man, nor young
line 0451enough for a boy—as a squash is before ’tis a
line 0452peascod, or a codling when ’tis almost an apple. ’Tis
line 0453with him in standing water, between boy and man.
line 0454He is very well-favored, and he speaks very shrewishly.
160line 0455One would think his mother’s milk were
line 0456scarce out of him.
OLIVIA
line 0457Let him approach. Call in my gentlewoman.
line 0458MALVOLIOGentlewoman, my lady calls.He exits.

Enter Maria.

OLIVIA
line 0459Give me my veil. Come, throw it o’er my face.

Olivia veils.

165line 0460We’ll once more hear Orsino’s embassy.

Enter Viola.

line 0461VIOLAThe honorable lady of the house, which is she?
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 37 line 0462OLIVIASpeak to me. I shall answer for her. Your will?
line 0463VIOLAMost radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable
line 0464beauty—I pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the
170line 0465house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast
line 0466away my speech, for, besides that it is excellently
line 0467well penned, I have taken great pains to con it. Good
line 0468beauties, let me sustain no scorn. I am very comptible
line 0469even to the least sinister usage.
175line 0470OLIVIAWhence came you, sir?
line 0471VIOLAI can say little more than I have studied, and
line 0472that question’s out of my part. Good gentle one,
line 0473give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the
line 0474house, that I may proceed in my speech.
180line 0475OLIVIAAre you a comedian?
line 0476VIOLANo, my profound heart. And yet by the very
line 0477fangs of malice I swear I am not that I play. Are
line 0478you the lady of the house?
line 0479OLIVIAIf I do not usurp myself, I am.
185line 0480VIOLAMost certain, if you are she, you do usurp
line 0481yourself, for what is yours to bestow is not yours to
line 0482reserve. But this is from my commission. I will on
line 0483with my speech in your praise and then show you
line 0484the heart of my message.
190line 0485OLIVIACome to what is important in ’t. I forgive you
line 0486the praise.
line 0487VIOLAAlas, I took great pains to study it, and ’tis
line 0488poetical.
line 0489OLIVIAIt is the more like to be feigned. I pray you,
195line 0490keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates, and
line 0491allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than
line 0492to hear you. If you be not mad, begone; if you have
line 0493reason, be brief. ’Tis not that time of moon with me
line 0494to make one in so skipping a dialogue.
200line 0495MARIAWill you hoist sail, sir? Here lies your way.
line 0496VIOLANo, good swabber, I am to hull here a little
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 39 line 0497longer.—Some mollification for your giant, sweet
line 0498lady.
line 0499OLIVIATell me your mind.
205line 0500VIOLAI am a messenger.
line 0501OLIVIASure you have some hideous matter to deliver
line 0502when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your
line 0503office.
line 0504VIOLAIt alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture
210line 0505of war, no taxation of homage. I hold the olive in
line 0506my hand. My words are as full of peace as matter.
line 0507OLIVIAYet you began rudely. What are you? What
line 0508would you?
line 0509VIOLAThe rudeness that hath appeared in me have I
215line 0510learned from my entertainment. What I am and
line 0511what I would are as secret as maidenhead: to your
line 0512ears, divinity; to any other’s, profanation.
line 0513OLIVIAGive us the place alone. We will hear this
line 0514divinity. Maria and Attendants exit. Now, sir, what
220line 0515is your text?
line 0516VIOLAMost sweet lady—
line 0517OLIVIAA comfortable doctrine, and much may be said
line 0518of it. Where lies your text?
line 0519VIOLAIn Orsino’s bosom.
225line 0520OLIVIAIn his bosom? In what chapter of his bosom?
line 0521VIOLATo answer by the method, in the first of his heart.
line 0522OLIVIAO, I have read it; it is heresy. Have you no more
line 0523to say?
line 0524VIOLAGood madam, let me see your face.
230line 0525OLIVIAHave you any commission from your lord to
line 0526negotiate with my face? You are now out of your
line 0527text. But we will draw the curtain and show you the
line 0528picture. She removes her veil. Look you, sir, such a
line 0529one I was this present. Is ’t not well done?
235line 0530VIOLAExcellently done, if God did all.
line 0531OLIVIA’Tis in grain, sir; ’twill endure wind and
line 0532weather.
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 41 VIOLA
line 0533’Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white
line 0534Nature’s own sweet and cunning hand laid on.
240line 0535Lady, you are the cruel’st she alive
line 0536If you will lead these graces to the grave
line 0537And leave the world no copy.
line 0538OLIVIAO, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted! I will give
line 0539out divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be
245line 0540inventoried and every particle and utensil labeled
line 0541to my will: as, item, two lips indifferent red; item,
line 0542two gray eyes with lids to them; item, one neck, one
line 0543chin, and so forth. Were you sent hither to praise
line 0544me?
VIOLA
250line 0545I see you what you are. You are too proud.
line 0546But if you were the devil you are fair.
line 0547My lord and master loves you. O, such love
line 0548Could be but recompensed though you were
line 0549crowned
255line 0550The nonpareil of beauty.
line 0551OLIVIAHow does he love me?
line 0552VIOLAWith adorations, fertile tears,
line 0553With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.
OLIVIA
line 0554Your lord does know my mind. I cannot love him.
260line 0555Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble,
line 0556Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth;
line 0557In voices well divulged, free, learned, and valiant,
line 0558And in dimension and the shape of nature
line 0559A gracious person. But yet I cannot love him.
265line 0560He might have took his answer long ago.
VIOLA
line 0561If I did love you in my master’s flame,
line 0562With such a suff’ring, such a deadly life,
line 0563In your denial I would find no sense.
line 0564I would not understand it.
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 43 270line 0565OLIVIAWhy, what would you?
VIOLA
line 0566Make me a willow cabin at your gate
line 0567And call upon my soul within the house,
line 0568Write loyal cantons of contemnèd love
line 0569And sing them loud even in the dead of night,
275line 0570Hallow your name to the reverberate hills
line 0571And make the babbling gossip of the air
line 0572Cry out “Olivia!” O, you should not rest
line 0573Between the elements of air and earth
line 0574But you should pity me.
280line 0575OLIVIAYou might do much.
line 0576What is your parentage?
VIOLA
line 0577Above my fortunes, yet my state is well.
line 0578I am a gentleman.
line 0579OLIVIAGet you to your lord.
285line 0580I cannot love him. Let him send no more—
line 0581Unless perchance you come to me again
line 0582To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well.
line 0583I thank you for your pains. Spend this for me.

She offers money.

VIOLA
line 0584I am no fee’d post, lady. Keep your purse.
290line 0585My master, not myself, lacks recompense.
line 0586Love make his heart of flint that you shall love,
line 0587And let your fervor, like my master’s, be
line 0588Placed in contempt. Farewell, fair cruelty.She exits.
line 0589OLIVIA“What is your parentage?”
295line 0590“Above my fortunes, yet my state is well.
line 0591I am a gentleman.” I’ll be sworn thou art.
line 0592Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions, and spirit
line 0593Do give thee fivefold blazon. Not too fast! Soft,
line 0594soft!
300line 0595Unless the master were the man. How now?
line 0596Even so quickly may one catch the plague?
Act 1 Scene 5 - Pg 45 line 0597Methinks I feel this youth’s perfections
line 0598With an invisible and subtle stealth
line 0599To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be.—
305line 0600What ho, Malvolio!

Enter Malvolio.

line 0601MALVOLIOHere, madam, at your service.
OLIVIA
line 0602Run after that same peevish messenger,
line 0603The County’s man. He left this ring behind him,
line 0604Would I or not. Tell him I’ll none of it.

She hands him a ring.

310line 0605Desire him not to flatter with his lord,
line 0606Nor hold him up with hopes. I am not for him.
line 0607If that the youth will come this way tomorrow,
line 0608I’ll give him reasons for ’t. Hie thee, Malvolio.
line 0609MALVOLIOMadam, I will.He exits.
OLIVIA
315line 0610I do I know not what, and fear to find
line 0611Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind.
line 0612Fate, show thy force. Ourselves we do not owe.
line 0613What is decreed must be, and be this so.

She exits.


ACT 2


Scene 1

Enter Antonio and Sebastian.

line 0614ANTONIOWill you stay no longer? Nor will you not that
line 0615I go with you?
line 0616SEBASTIANBy your patience, no. My stars shine darkly
line 0617over me. The malignancy of my fate might perhaps
5line 0618distemper yours. Therefore I shall crave of you your
line 0619leave that I may bear my evils alone. It were a bad
line 0620recompense for your love to lay any of them on you.
line 0621ANTONIOLet me yet know of you whither you are
line 0622bound.
10line 0623SEBASTIANNo, sooth, sir. My determinate voyage is
line 0624mere extravagancy. But I perceive in you so excellent
line 0625a touch of modesty that you will not extort
line 0626from me what I am willing to keep in. Therefore it
line 0627charges me in manners the rather to express myself.
15line 0628You must know of me, then, Antonio, my name
line 0629is Sebastian, which I called Roderigo. My father was
line 0630that Sebastian of Messaline whom I know you have
line 0631heard of. He left behind him myself and a sister,
line 0632both born in an hour. If the heavens had been
20line 0633pleased, would we had so ended! But you, sir,
line 0634altered that, for some hour before you took me
line 0635from the breach of the sea was my sister drowned.
line 0636ANTONIOAlas the day!
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 51 line 0637SEBASTIANA lady, sir, though it was said she much
25line 0638resembled me, was yet of many accounted beautiful.
line 0639But though I could not with such estimable
line 0640wonder overfar believe that, yet thus far I will boldly
line 0641publish her: she bore a mind that envy could not but
line 0642call fair. She is drowned already, sir, with salt water,
30line 0643though I seem to drown her remembrance again
line 0644with more.
line 0645ANTONIOPardon me, sir, your bad entertainment.
line 0646SEBASTIANO good Antonio, forgive me your trouble.
line 0647ANTONIOIf you will not murder me for my love, let me
35line 0648be your servant.
line 0649SEBASTIANIf you will not undo what you have done—
line 0650that is, kill him whom you have recovered—desire
line 0651it not. Fare you well at once. My bosom is full of
line 0652kindness, and I am yet so near the manners of my
40line 0653mother that, upon the least occasion more, mine
line 0654eyes will tell tales of me. I am bound to the Count
line 0655Orsino’s court. Farewell.He exits.
ANTONIO
line 0656The gentleness of all the gods go with thee!
line 0657I have many enemies in Orsino’s court,
45line 0658Else would I very shortly see thee there.
line 0659But come what may, I do adore thee so
line 0660That danger shall seem sport, and I will go.

He exits.


Scene 2

Enter Viola and Malvolio, at several doors.

line 0661MALVOLIOWere not you even now with the Countess
line 0662Olivia?
line 0663VIOLAEven now, sir. On a moderate pace I have since
line 0664arrived but hither.
5line 0665MALVOLIOShe returns this ring to you, sir. You might
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 53 line 0666have saved me my pains to have taken it away
line 0667yourself. She adds, moreover, that you should put
line 0668your lord into a desperate assurance she will none
line 0669of him. And one thing more, that you be never so
10line 0670hardy to come again in his affairs unless it be to
line 0671report your lord’s taking of this. Receive it so.
line 0672VIOLAShe took the ring of me. I’ll none of it.
line 0673MALVOLIOCome, sir, you peevishly threw it to her, and
line 0674her will is it should be so returned.
15line 0675He throws down the ring. If it be worth stooping for, there it
line 0676lies in your eye; if not, be it his that finds it.

He exits.

VIOLA
line 0677I left no ring with her. What means this lady?

She picks up the ring.

line 0678Fortune forbid my outside have not charmed her!
line 0679She made good view of me, indeed so much
20line 0680That methought her eyes had lost her tongue,
line 0681For she did speak in starts distractedly.
line 0682She loves me, sure! The cunning of her passion
line 0683Invites me in this churlish messenger.
line 0684None of my lord’s ring? Why, he sent her none!
25line 0685I am the man. If it be so, as ’tis,
line 0686Poor lady, she were better love a dream.
line 0687Disguise, I see thou art a wickedness
line 0688Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.
line 0689How easy is it for the proper false
30line 0690In women’s waxen hearts to set their forms!
line 0691Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we,
line 0692For such as we are made of, such we be.
line 0693How will this fadge? My master loves her dearly,
line 0694And I, poor monster, fond as much on him,
35line 0695And she, mistaken, seems to dote on me.
line 0696What will become of this? As I am man,
line 0697My state is desperate for my master’s love.
line 0698As I am woman (now, alas the day!),
Act 2 Scene 3 - Pg 55 line 0699What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe!
40line 0700O Time, thou must untangle this, not I.
line 0701It is too hard a knot for me t’ untie.

She exits.


Scene 3

Enter Sir Toby and Sir Andrew.

line 0702TOBYApproach, Sir Andrew. Not to be abed after
line 0703midnight is to be up betimes, and “diluculo surgere,”
line 0704thou know’st—
line 0705ANDREWNay, by my troth, I know not. But I know to
5line 0706be up late is to be up late.
line 0707TOBYA false conclusion. I hate it as an unfilled can. To
line 0708be up after midnight and to go to bed then, is early,
line 0709so that to go to bed after midnight is to go to bed
line 0710betimes. Does not our lives consist of the four
10line 0711elements?
line 0712ANDREWFaith, so they say, but I think it rather consists
line 0713of eating and drinking.
line 0714TOBYThou ’rt a scholar. Let us therefore eat and
line 0715drink. Marian, I say, a stoup of wine!

Enter Feste, the Fool.

15line 0716ANDREWHere comes the Fool, i’ faith.
line 0717FOOLHow now, my hearts? Did you never see the
line 0718picture of “We Three”?
line 0719TOBYWelcome, ass! Now let’s have a catch.
line 0720ANDREWBy my troth, the Fool has an excellent breast.
20line 0721I had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg,
line 0722and so sweet a breath to sing, as the Fool has.—In
line 0723sooth, thou wast in very gracious fooling last night
line 0724when thou spok’st of Pigrogromitus of the Vapians
line 0725passing the equinoctial of Queubus. ’Twas very
25line 0726good, i’ faith. I sent thee sixpence for thy leman.
line 0727Hadst it?
Act 2 Scene 3 - Pg 57 line 0728FOOLI did impeticos thy gratillity, for Malvolio’s nose
line 0729is no whipstock, my lady has a white hand, and the
line 0730Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.
30line 0731ANDREWExcellent! Why, this is the best fooling when
line 0732all is done. Now, a song!
line 0733TOBYgiving money to the Fool Come on, there is
line 0734sixpence for you. Let’s have a song.
line 0735ANDREWgiving money to the Fool There’s a testril of
35line 0736me, too. If one knight give a—
line 0737FOOLWould you have a love song or a song of good
line 0738life?
line 0739TOBYA love song, a love song.
line 0740ANDREWAy, ay, I care not for good life.
FOOLsings
40line 0741O mistress mine, where are you roaming?
line 0742O, stay and hear! Your truelove’s coming,
line 0743That can sing both high and low.
line 0744Trip no further, pretty sweeting.
line 0745Journeys end in lovers meeting,
45line 0746Every wise man’s son doth know.
line 0747ANDREWExcellent good, i’ faith!
line 0748TOBYGood, good.
FOOLsings
line 0749What is love? ’Tis not hereafter.
line 0750Present mirth hath present laughter.
50line 0751What’s to come is still unsure.
line 0752In delay there lies no plenty,
line 0753Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty.
line 0754Youth’s a stuff will not endure.
line 0755ANDREWA mellifluous voice, as I am true knight.
55line 0756TOBYA contagious breath.
line 0757ANDREWVery sweet and contagious, i’ faith.
line 0758TOBYTo hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion.
line 0759But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? Shall
line 0760we rouse the night owl in a catch that will draw
60line 0761three souls out of one weaver? Shall we do that?
Act 2 Scene 3 - Pg 59 line 0762ANDREWAn you love me, let’s do ’t. I am dog at a
line 0763catch.
line 0764FOOLBy ’r Lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well.
line 0765ANDREWMost certain. Let our catch be “Thou
65line 0766Knave.”
line 0767FOOL“Hold thy peace, thou knave,” knight? I shall be
line 0768constrained in ’t to call thee “knave,” knight.
line 0769ANDREW’Tis not the first time I have constrained one
line 0770to call me “knave.” Begin, Fool. It begins “Hold
70line 0771thy peace.”
line 0772FOOLI shall never begin if I hold my peace.
line 0773ANDREWGood, i’ faith. Come, begin.Catch sung.

Enter Maria.

line 0774MARIAWhat a caterwauling do you keep here! If my
line 0775lady have not called up her steward Malvolio and
75line 0776bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me.
line 0777TOBYMy lady’s a Cataian, we are politicians, Malvolio’s
line 0778a Peg-a-Ramsey, and Sings. Three merry men be we
line 0779Am not I consanguineous? Am I not of her
line 0780blood? Tillyvally! “Lady”! Sings. There dwelt a man
80line 0781in Babylon, lady, lady.
line 0782FOOLBeshrew me, the knight’s in admirable fooling.
line 0783ANDREWAy, he does well enough if he be disposed,
line 0784and so do I, too. He does it with a better grace, but
line 0785I do it more natural.
85line 0786TOBYsings O’ the twelfth day of December—
line 0787MARIAFor the love o’ God, peace!

Enter Malvolio.

line 0788MALVOLIOMy masters, are you mad? Or what are you?
line 0789Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty but to
line 0790gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Do you
90line 0791make an ale-house of my lady’s house, that you
line 0792squeak out your coziers’ catches without any mitigation
line 0793or remorse of voice? Is there no respect of
line 0794place, persons, nor time in you?
Act 2 Scene 3 - Pg 61 line 0795TOBYWe did keep time, sir, in our catches. Sneck up!
95line 0796MALVOLIOSir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady
line 0797bade me tell you that, though she harbors you as her
line 0798kinsman, she’s nothing allied to your disorders. If
line 0799you can separate yourself and your misdemeanors,
line 0800you are welcome to the house; if not, an it would
100line 0801please you to take leave of her, she is very willing to
line 0802bid you farewell.
TOBYsings
line 0803Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone.
line 0804MARIANay, good Sir Toby.
FOOLsings
line 0805His eyes do show his days are almost done.
105line 0806MALVOLIOIs ’t even so?
TOBYsings
line 0807But I will never die.
FOOLsings
line 0808Sir Toby, there you lie.
line 0809MALVOLIOThis is much credit to you.
TOBYsings
line 0810Shall I bid him go?
FOOLsings
110line 0811What an if you do?
TOBYsings
line 0812Shall I bid him go, and spare not?
FOOLsings
line 0813O no, no, no, no, you dare not.
line 0814TOBYOut o’ tune, sir? You lie. Art any more than a
line 0815steward? Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous,
115line 0816there shall be no more cakes and ale?
line 0817FOOLYes, by Saint Anne, and ginger shall be hot i’ th’
line 0818mouth, too.
line 0819TOBYThou ’rt i’ th’ right.—Go, sir, rub your chain
line 0820with crumbs.—A stoup of wine, Maria!
120line 0821MALVOLIOMistress Mary, if you prized my lady’s favor
line 0822at anything more than contempt, you would not give
Act 2 Scene 3 - Pg 63 line 0823means for this uncivil rule. She shall know of it, by
line 0824this hand.He exits.
line 0825MARIAGo shake your ears!
125line 0826ANDREW’Twere as good a deed as to drink when a
line 0827man’s a-hungry, to challenge him the field and
line 0828then to break promise with him and make a fool of
line 0829him.
line 0830TOBYDo ’t, knight. I’ll write thee a challenge. Or I’ll
130line 0831deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.
line 0832MARIASweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight. Since the
line 0833youth of the Count’s was today with my lady, she is
line 0834much out of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let me
line 0835alone with him. If I do not gull him into a nayword
135line 0836and make him a common recreation, do not think I
line 0837have wit enough to lie straight in my bed. I know I
line 0838can do it.
line 0839TOBYPossess us, possess us, tell us something of him.
line 0840MARIAMarry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of puritan.
140line 0841ANDREWO, if I thought that, I’d beat him like a dog!
line 0842TOBYWhat, for being a puritan? Thy exquisite reason,
line 0843dear knight?
line 0844ANDREWI have no exquisite reason for ’t, but I have
line 0845reason good enough.
145line 0846MARIAThe devil a puritan that he is, or anything
line 0847constantly but a time-pleaser; an affectioned ass
line 0848that cons state without book and utters it by great
line 0849swaths; the best persuaded of himself, so crammed,
line 0850as he thinks, with excellencies, that it is his grounds
150line 0851of faith that all that look on him love him. And on
line 0852that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause
line 0853to work.
line 0854TOBYWhat wilt thou do?
line 0855MARIAI will drop in his way some obscure epistles of
155line 0856love, wherein by the color of his beard, the shape of
line 0857his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure of his
line 0858eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find himself
Act 2 Scene 3 - Pg 65 line 0859most feelingly personated. I can write very like my
line 0860lady your niece; on a forgotten matter, we can
160line 0861hardly make distinction of our hands.
line 0862TOBYExcellent! I smell a device.
line 0863ANDREWI have ’t in my nose, too.
line 0864TOBYHe shall think, by the letters that thou wilt drop,
line 0865that they come from my niece, and that she’s in
165line 0866love with him.
line 0867MARIAMy purpose is indeed a horse of that color.
line 0868ANDREWAnd your horse now would make him an ass.
line 0869MARIAAss, I doubt not.
line 0870ANDREWO, ’twill be admirable!
170line 0871MARIASport royal, I warrant you. I know my physic
line 0872will work with him. I will plant you two, and let the
line 0873Fool make a third, where he shall find the letter.
line 0874Observe his construction of it. For this night, to bed,
line 0875and dream on the event. Farewell.
175line 0876TOBYGood night, Penthesilea.She exits.
line 0877ANDREWBefore me, she’s a good wench.
line 0878TOBYShe’s a beagle true bred, and one that adores
line 0879me. What o’ that?
line 0880ANDREWI was adored once, too.
180line 0881TOBYLet’s to bed, knight. Thou hadst need send for
line 0882more money.
line 0883ANDREWIf I cannot recover your niece, I am a foul way
line 0884out.
line 0885TOBYSend for money, knight. If thou hast her not i’
185line 0886th’ end, call me “Cut.”
line 0887ANDREWIf I do not, never trust me, take it how you
line 0888will.
line 0889TOBYCome, come, I’ll go burn some sack. ’Tis too
line 0890late to go to bed now. Come, knight; come, knight.

They exit.

Act 2 Scene 4 - Pg 67

Scene 4

Enter Orsino, Viola, Curio, and others.

ORSINO
line 0891Give me some music. Music plays. Now, good
line 0892morrow, friends.—
line 0893Now, good Cesario, but that piece of song,
line 0894That old and antique song we heard last night.
5line 0895Methought it did relieve my passion much,
line 0896More than light airs and recollected terms
line 0897Of these most brisk and giddy-pacèd times.
line 0898Come, but one verse.
line 0899CURIOHe is not here, so please your Lordship, that
10line 0900should sing it.
line 0901ORSINOWho was it?
line 0902CURIOFeste the jester, my lord, a Fool that the Lady
line 0903Olivia’s father took much delight in. He is about
line 0904the house.
ORSINO
15line 0905Seek him out Curio exits, and play the tune the
line 0906while.Music plays.
line 0907To Viola. Come hither, boy. If ever thou shalt love,
line 0908In the sweet pangs of it remember me,
line 0909For such as I am, all true lovers are,
20line 0910Unstaid and skittish in all motions else
line 0911Save in the constant image of the creature
line 0912That is beloved. How dost thou like this tune?
VIOLA
line 0913It gives a very echo to the seat
line 0914Where love is throned.
25line 0915ORSINOThou dost speak masterly.
line 0916My life upon ’t, young though thou art, thine eye
line 0917Hath stayed upon some favor that it loves.
line 0918Hath it not, boy?
line 0919VIOLAA little, by your favor.
Act 2 Scene 4 - Pg 69 ORSINO
30line 0920What kind of woman is ’t?
line 0921VIOLAOf your complexion.
ORSINO
line 0922She is not worth thee, then. What years, i’ faith?
line 0923VIOLAAbout your years, my lord.
ORSINO
line 0924Too old, by heaven. Let still the woman take
35line 0925An elder than herself. So wears she to him;
line 0926So sways she level in her husband’s heart.
line 0927For, boy, however we do praise ourselves,
line 0928Our fancies are more giddy and unfirm,
line 0929More longing, wavering, sooner lost and worn,
40line 0930Than women’s are.
line 0931VIOLAI think it well, my lord.
ORSINO
line 0932Then let thy love be younger than thyself,
line 0933Or thy affection cannot hold the bent.
line 0934For women are as roses, whose fair flower,
45line 0935Being once displayed, doth fall that very hour.
VIOLA
line 0936And so they are. Alas, that they are so,
line 0937To die even when they to perfection grow!

Enter Curio and Feste, the Fool.

ORSINO
line 0938O, fellow, come, the song we had last night.—
line 0939Mark it, Cesario. It is old and plain;
50line 0940The spinsters and the knitters in the sun
line 0941And the free maids that weave their thread with
line 0942bones
line 0943Do use to chant it. It is silly sooth,
line 0944And dallies with the innocence of love
55line 0945Like the old age.
line 0946FOOLAre you ready, sir?
line 0947ORSINOAy, prithee, sing.Music.
Act 2 Scene 4 - Pg 71
The Song.

FOOL
line 0948Come away, come away, death,
line 0949And in sad cypress let me be laid.
60line 0950Fly away, fly away, breath,
line 0951I am slain by a fair cruel maid.
line 0952My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,
line 0953O, prepare it!
line 0954My part of death, no one so true
65line 0955Did share it.

line 0956Not a flower, not a flower sweet
line 0957On my black coffin let there be strown;
line 0958Not a friend, not a friend greet
line 0959My poor corpse where my bones shall be thrown.
70line 0960A thousand thousand sighs to save,
line 0961Lay me, O, where
line 0962Sad true lover never find my grave
line 0963To weep there.
line 0964ORSINOgiving money There’s for thy pains.
75line 0965FOOLNo pains, sir. I take pleasure in singing, sir.
line 0966ORSINOI’ll pay thy pleasure, then.
line 0967FOOLTruly sir, and pleasure will be paid, one time or
line 0968another.
line 0969ORSINOGive me now leave to leave thee.
80line 0970FOOLNow the melancholy god protect thee and the
line 0971tailor make thy doublet of changeable taffeta, for thy
line 0972mind is a very opal. I would have men of such
line 0973constancy put to sea, that their business might be
line 0974everything and their intent everywhere, for that’s it
85line 0975that always makes a good voyage of nothing.
line 0976Farewell.He exits.
ORSINO
line 0977Let all the rest give place.

All but Orsino and Viola exit.

line 0978Once more, Cesario,
Act 2 Scene 4 - Pg 73 line 0979Get thee to yond same sovereign cruelty.
90line 0980Tell her my love, more noble than the world,
line 0981Prizes not quantity of dirty lands.
line 0982The parts that Fortune hath bestowed upon her,
line 0983Tell her, I hold as giddily as Fortune.
line 0984But ’tis that miracle and queen of gems
95line 0985That nature pranks her in attracts my soul.
line 0986VIOLABut if she cannot love you, sir—
ORSINO
line 0987I cannot be so answered.
line 0988VIOLASooth, but you must.
line 0989Say that some lady, as perhaps there is,
100line 0990Hath for your love as great a pang of heart
line 0991As you have for Olivia. You cannot love her;
line 0992You tell her so. Must she not then be answered?
line 0993ORSINOThere is no woman’s sides
line 0994Can bide the beating of so strong a passion
105line 0995As love doth give my heart; no woman’s heart
line 0996So big, to hold so much; they lack retention.
line 0997Alas, their love may be called appetite,
line 0998No motion of the liver but the palate,
line 0999That suffer surfeit, cloyment, and revolt;
110line 1000But mine is all as hungry as the sea,
line 1001And can digest as much. Make no compare
line 1002Between that love a woman can bear me
line 1003And that I owe Olivia.
line 1004VIOLAAy, but I know—
115line 1005ORSINOWhat dost thou know?
VIOLA
line 1006Too well what love women to men may owe.
line 1007In faith, they are as true of heart as we.
line 1008My father had a daughter loved a man
line 1009As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman,
120line 1010I should your Lordship.
line 1011ORSINOAnd what’s her history?
Act 2 Scene 5 - Pg 75 VIOLA
line 1012A blank, my lord. She never told her love,
line 1013But let concealment, like a worm i’ th’ bud,
line 1014Feed on her damask cheek. She pined in thought,
125line 1015And with a green and yellow melancholy
line 1016She sat like Patience on a monument,
line 1017Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?
line 1018We men may say more, swear more, but indeed
line 1019Our shows are more than will; for still we prove
130line 1020Much in our vows but little in our love.
ORSINO
line 1021But died thy sister of her love, my boy?
VIOLA
line 1022I am all the daughters of my father’s house,
line 1023And all the brothers, too—and yet I know not.
line 1024Sir, shall I to this lady?
135line 1025ORSINOAy, that’s the theme.
line 1026To her in haste. Give her this jewel. Say
line 1027My love can give no place, bide no denay.

He hands her a jewel and they exit.


Scene 5

Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian.

line 1028TOBYCome thy ways, Signior Fabian.
line 1029FABIANNay, I’ll come. If I lose a scruple of this sport,
line 1030let me be boiled to death with melancholy.
line 1031TOBYWouldst thou not be glad to have the niggardly
5line 1032rascally sheep-biter come by some notable shame?
line 1033FABIANI would exult, man. You know he brought me
line 1034out o’ favor with my lady about a bearbaiting here.
line 1035TOBYTo anger him, we’ll have the bear again, and we
line 1036will fool him black and blue, shall we not, Sir
10line 1037Andrew?
line 1038ANDREWAn we do not, it is pity of our lives.
Act 2 Scene 5 - Pg 77

Enter Maria.

line 1039TOBYHere comes the little villain.—How now, my
line 1040metal of India?
line 1041MARIAGet you all three into the boxtree. Malvolio’s
15line 1042coming down this walk. He has been yonder i’ the
line 1043sun practicing behavior to his own shadow this half
line 1044hour. Observe him, for the love of mockery, for I
line 1045know this letter will make a contemplative idiot of
line 1046him. Close, in the name of jesting! They hide. Lie
20line 1047thou there putting down the letter, for here comes
line 1048the trout that must be caught with tickling.

She exits.

Enter Malvolio.

line 1049MALVOLIO’Tis but fortune, all is fortune. Maria once
line 1050told me she did affect me, and I have heard herself
line 1051come thus near, that should she fancy, it should be
25line 1052one of my complexion. Besides, she uses me with a
line 1053more exalted respect than anyone else that follows
line 1054her. What should I think on ’t?
line 1055TOBYaside Here’s an overweening rogue.
line 1056FABIANaside O, peace! Contemplation makes a rare
30line 1057turkeycock of him. How he jets under his advanced
line 1058plumes!
line 1059ANDREWaside ’Slight, I could so beat the rogue!
line 1060TOBYaside Peace, I say.
line 1061MALVOLIOTo be Count Malvolio.
35line 1062TOBYaside Ah, rogue!
line 1063ANDREWaside Pistol him, pistol him!
line 1064TOBYaside Peace, peace!
line 1065MALVOLIOThere is example for ’t. The lady of the
line 1066Strachy married the yeoman of the wardrobe.
40line 1067ANDREWaside Fie on him, Jezebel!
line 1068FABIANaside O, peace, now he’s deeply in. Look how
line 1069imagination blows him.
Act 2 Scene 5 - Pg 79 line 1070MALVOLIOHaving been three months married to her,
line 1071sitting in my state—
45line 1072TOBYaside O, for a stone-bow, to hit him in the eye!
line 1073MALVOLIOCalling my officers about me, in my
line 1074branched velvet gown, having come from a daybed
line 1075where I have left Olivia sleeping—
line 1076TOBYaside Fire and brimstone!
50line 1077FABIANaside O, peace, peace!
line 1078MALVOLIOAnd then to have the humor of state; and
line 1079after a demure travel of regard, telling them I
line 1080know my place, as I would they should do theirs, to
line 1081ask for my kinsman Toby—
55line 1082TOBYaside Bolts and shackles!
line 1083FABIANaside O, peace, peace, peace! Now, now.
line 1084MALVOLIOSeven of my people, with an obedient start,
line 1085make out for him. I frown the while, and perchance
line 1086wind up my watch, or play with my—some
60line 1087rich jewel. Toby approaches; curtsies there to me—
line 1088TOBYaside Shall this fellow live?
line 1089FABIANaside Though our silence be drawn from us
line 1090with cars, yet peace!
line 1091MALVOLIOI extend my hand to him thus, quenching
65line 1092my familiar smile with an austere regard of
line 1093control—
line 1094TOBYaside And does not Toby take you a blow o’ the
line 1095lips then?
line 1096MALVOLIOSaying, “Cousin Toby, my fortunes, having
70line 1097cast me on your niece, give me this prerogative of
line 1098speech—”
line 1099TOBYaside What, what?
line 1100MALVOLIO“You must amend your drunkenness.”
line 1101TOBYaside Out, scab!
75line 1102FABIANaside Nay, patience, or we break the sinews
line 1103of our plot!
line 1104MALVOLIO“Besides, you waste the treasure of your
line 1105time with a foolish knight—”
Act 2 Scene 5 - Pg 81 line 1106ANDREWaside That’s me, I warrant you.
80line 1107MALVOLIO“One Sir Andrew.”
line 1108ANDREWaside I knew ’twas I, for many do call me
line 1109fool.
line 1110MALVOLIOseeing the letter What employment have
line 1111we here?
85line 1112FABIANaside Now is the woodcock near the gin.
line 1113TOBYaside O, peace, and the spirit of humors intimate
line 1114reading aloud to him.
line 1115MALVOLIOtaking up the letter By my life, this is my
line 1116lady’s hand! These be her very c’s, her u’s, and her
90line 1117t’s, and thus she makes her great P’s. It is in
line 1118contempt of question her hand.
line 1119ANDREWaside Her c’s, her u’s, and her t’s. Why that?
line 1120MALVOLIOreads To the unknown beloved, this, and my
line 1121good wishes—Her very phrases! By your leave, wax.
95line 1122Soft. And the impressure her Lucrece, with which
line 1123she uses to seal—’tis my lady! He opens the letter.
line 1124To whom should this be?
line 1125FABIANaside This wins him, liver and all.
MALVOLIOreads
line 1126Jove knows I love,
100line 1127But who?
line 1128Lips, do not move;
line 1129No man must know.
line 1130“No man must know.” What follows? The numbers
line 1131altered. “No man must know.” If this should be
105line 1132thee, Malvolio!
line 1133TOBYaside Marry, hang thee, brock!
MALVOLIOreads
line 1134I may command where I adore,
line 1135But silence, like a Lucrece knife,
line 1136With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore;
110line 1137M.O.A.I. doth sway my life.
line 1138FABIANaside A fustian riddle!
line 1139TOBYaside Excellent wench, say I.
Act 2 Scene 5 - Pg 83 line 1140MALVOLIO“M.O.A.I. doth sway my life.” Nay, but first
line 1141let me see, let me see, let me see.
115line 1142FABIANaside What dish o’ poison has she dressed
line 1143him!
line 1144TOBYaside And with what wing the staniel checks
line 1145at it!
line 1146MALVOLIO“I may command where I adore.” Why, she
120line 1147may command me; I serve her; she is my lady. Why,
line 1148this is evident to any formal capacity. There is no
line 1149obstruction in this. And the end—what should that
line 1150alphabetical position portend? If I could make that
line 1151resemble something in me! Softly! “M.O.A.I.”—
125line 1152TOBYaside O, ay, make up that.—He is now at a cold
line 1153scent.
line 1154FABIANaside Sowter will cry upon ’t for all this,
line 1155though it be as rank as a fox.
line 1156MALVOLIO“M”—Malvolio. “M”—why, that begins
130line 1157my name!
line 1158FABIANaside Did not I say he would work it out? The
line 1159cur is excellent at faults.
line 1160MALVOLIO“M.” But then there is no consonancy in
line 1161the sequel that suffers under probation. “A” should
135line 1162follow, but “O” does.
line 1163FABIANaside And “O” shall end, I hope.
line 1164TOBYaside Ay, or I’ll cudgel him and make him cry
line 1165“O.”
line 1166MALVOLIOAnd then “I” comes behind.
140line 1167FABIANaside Ay, an you had any eye behind you, you
line 1168might see more detraction at your heels than fortunes
line 1169before you.
line 1170MALVOLIO“M.O.A.I.” This simulation is not as the
line 1171former, and yet to crush this a little, it would bow
145line 1172to me, for every one of these letters are in my name.
line 1173Soft, here follows prose.
line 1174He reads. If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my
line 1175stars I am above thee, but be not afraid of greatness.
Act 2 Scene 5 - Pg 85 line 1176Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and
150line 1177some have greatness thrust upon ’em. Thy fates open
line 1178their hands. Let thy blood and spirit embrace them.
line 1179And, to inure thyself to what thou art like to be, cast
line 1180thy humble slough and appear fresh. Be opposite with
line 1181a kinsman, surly with servants. Let thy tongue tang
155line 1182arguments of state. Put thyself into the trick of singularity.
line 1183She thus advises thee that sighs for thee.
line 1184Remember who commended thy yellow stockings and
line 1185wished to see thee ever cross-gartered. I say, remember.
line 1186Go to, thou art made, if thou desir’st to be so. If
160line 1187not, let me see thee a steward still, the fellow of
line 1188servants, and not worthy to touch Fortune’s fingers.
line 1189Farewell. She that would alter services with thee,
line 1190The Fortunate-Unhappy.
line 1191Daylight and champian discovers not more! This is
165line 1192open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors, I
line 1193will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross acquaintance,
line 1194I will be point-devise the very man. I do not
line 1195now fool myself, to let imagination jade me; for
line 1196every reason excites to this, that my lady loves me.
170line 1197She did commend my yellow stockings of late, she
line 1198did praise my leg being cross-gartered, and in this
line 1199she manifests herself to my love and, with a kind of
line 1200injunction, drives me to these habits of her liking. I
line 1201thank my stars, I am happy. I will be strange, stout,
175line 1202in yellow stockings, and cross-gartered, even with
line 1203the swiftness of putting on. Jove and my stars be
line 1204praised! Here is yet a postscript.
line 1205He reads. Thou canst not choose but know who I
line 1206am. If thou entertain’st my love, let it appear in thy
180line 1207smiling; thy smiles become thee well. Therefore in my
line 1208presence still smile, dear my sweet, I prithee.
line 1209Jove, I thank thee! I will smile. I will do everything
line 1210that thou wilt have me.He exits.
Act 2 Scene 5 - Pg 87 line 1211FABIANI will not give my part of this sport for a
185line 1212pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy.
line 1213TOBYI could marry this wench for this device.
line 1214ANDREWSo could I too.
line 1215TOBYAnd ask no other dowry with her but such
line 1216another jest.
190line 1217ANDREWNor I neither.

Enter Maria.

line 1218FABIANHere comes my noble gull-catcher.
line 1219TOBYWilt thou set thy foot o’ my neck?
line 1220ANDREWOr o’ mine either?
line 1221TOBYShall I play my freedom at tray-trip and become
195line 1222thy bondslave?
line 1223ANDREWI’ faith, or I either?
line 1224TOBYWhy, thou hast put him in such a dream that
line 1225when the image of it leaves him he must run mad.
line 1226MARIANay, but say true, does it work upon him?
200line 1227TOBYLike aqua vitae with a midwife.
line 1228MARIAIf you will then see the fruits of the sport,
line 1229mark his first approach before my lady. He will
line 1230come to her in yellow stockings, and ’tis a color
line 1231she abhors, and cross-gartered, a fashion she detests;
205line 1232and he will smile upon her, which will now
line 1233be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted
line 1234to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot
line 1235but turn him into a notable contempt. If you will
line 1236see it, follow me.
210line 1237TOBYTo the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil
line 1238of wit!
line 1239ANDREWI’ll make one, too.

They exit.


ACT 3


Scene 1

Enter Viola and Feste, the Fool, playing a tabor.

line 1240VIOLASave thee, friend, and thy music. Dost thou live
line 1241by thy tabor?
line 1242FOOLNo, sir, I live by the church.
line 1243VIOLAArt thou a churchman?
5line 1244FOOLNo such matter, sir. I do live by the church, for I
line 1245do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the
line 1246church.
line 1247VIOLASo thou mayst say the king lies by a beggar if a
line 1248beggar dwell near him, or the church stands by thy
10line 1249tabor if thy tabor stand by the church.
line 1250FOOLYou have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is
line 1251but a chev’ril glove to a good wit. How quickly the
line 1252wrong side may be turned outward!
line 1253VIOLANay, that’s certain. They that dally nicely with
15line 1254words may quickly make them wanton.
line 1255FOOLI would therefore my sister had had no name,
line 1256sir.
line 1257VIOLAWhy, man?
line 1258FOOLWhy, sir, her name’s a word, and to dally with
20line 1259that word might make my sister wanton. But,
line 1260indeed, words are very rascals since bonds disgraced
line 1261them.
line 1262VIOLAThy reason, man?
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 93 line 1263FOOLTroth, sir, I can yield you none without words,
25line 1264and words are grown so false I am loath to prove
line 1265reason with them.
line 1266VIOLAI warrant thou art a merry fellow and car’st for
line 1267nothing.
line 1268FOOLNot so, sir. I do care for something. But in my
30line 1269conscience, sir, I do not care for you. If that be to
line 1270care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you
line 1271invisible.
line 1272VIOLAArt not thou the Lady Olivia’s Fool?
line 1273FOOLNo, indeed, sir. The Lady Olivia has no folly. She
35line 1274will keep no Fool, sir, till she be married, and Fools
line 1275are as like husbands as pilchers are to herrings: the
line 1276husband’s the bigger. I am indeed not her Fool but
line 1277her corrupter of words.
line 1278VIOLAI saw thee late at the Count Orsino’s.
40line 1279FOOLFoolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the
line 1280sun; it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but
line 1281the Fool should be as oft with your master as with
line 1282my mistress. I think I saw your Wisdom there.
line 1283VIOLANay, an thou pass upon me, I’ll no more with
45line 1284thee. Hold, there’s expenses for thee. Giving a coin.
line 1285FOOLNow Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send
line 1286thee a beard!
line 1287VIOLABy my troth I’ll tell thee, I am almost sick for
line 1288one, aside though I would not have it grow on my
50line 1289chin.—Is thy lady within?
line 1290FOOLWould not a pair of these have bred, sir?
line 1291VIOLAYes, being kept together and put to use.
line 1292FOOLI would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to
line 1293bring a Cressida to this Troilus.
55line 1294VIOLAI understand you, sir. ’Tis well begged. Giving another coin.
line 1295FOOLThe matter I hope is not great, sir, begging but a
line 1296beggar: Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir.
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 95 line 1297I will conster to them whence you come. Who you
line 1298are and what you would are out of my welkin—I
60line 1299might say “element,” but the word is overworn.

He exits.

VIOLA
line 1300This fellow is wise enough to play the Fool,
line 1301And to do that well craves a kind of wit.
line 1302He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
line 1303The quality of persons, and the time,
65line 1304And, like the haggard, check at every feather
line 1305That comes before his eye. This is a practice
line 1306As full of labor as a wise man’s art:
line 1307For folly that he wisely shows is fit;
line 1308But wise men, folly-fall’n, quite taint their wit.

Enter Sir Toby and Andrew.

70line 1309TOBYSave you, gentleman.
line 1310VIOLAAnd you, sir.
line 1311ANDREWDieu vous garde, monsieur.
line 1312VIOLAEt vous aussi. Votre serviteur!
line 1313ANDREWI hope, sir, you are, and I am yours.
75line 1314TOBYWill you encounter the house? My niece is
line 1315desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her.
line 1316VIOLAI am bound to your niece, sir; I mean, she is the
line 1317list of my voyage.
line 1318TOBYTaste your legs, sir; put them to motion.
80line 1319VIOLAMy legs do better understand me, sir, than I
line 1320understand what you mean by bidding me taste my
line 1321legs.
line 1322TOBYI mean, to go, sir, to enter.
line 1323VIOLAI will answer you with gait and entrance—but
85line 1324we are prevented.

Enter Olivia, and Maria, her Gentlewoman.

line 1325Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain
line 1326odors on you!
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 97 line 1327ANDREWaside That youth’s a rare courtier. “Rain
line 1328odors,” well.
90line 1329VIOLAMy matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own
line 1330most pregnant and vouchsafed ear.
line 1331ANDREWaside “Odors,” “pregnant,” and “vouchsafed.”
line 1332I’ll get ’em all three all ready.
line 1333OLIVIALet the garden door be shut, and leave me to
95line 1334my hearing.Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Maria exit.
line 1335Give me your hand, sir.
VIOLA
line 1336My duty, madam, and most humble service.
line 1337OLIVIAWhat is your name?
VIOLA
line 1338Cesario is your servant’s name, fair princess.
OLIVIA
100line 1339My servant, sir? ’Twas never merry world
line 1340Since lowly feigning was called compliment.
line 1341You’re servant to the Count Orsino, youth.
VIOLA
line 1342And he is yours, and his must needs be yours.
line 1343Your servant’s servant is your servant, madam.
OLIVIA
105line 1344For him, I think not on him. For his thoughts,
line 1345Would they were blanks rather than filled with me.
VIOLA
line 1346Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
line 1347On his behalf.
line 1348OLIVIAO, by your leave, I pray you.
110line 1349I bade you never speak again of him.
line 1350But would you undertake another suit,
line 1351I had rather hear you to solicit that
line 1352Than music from the spheres.
line 1353VIOLADear lady—
OLIVIA
115line 1354Give me leave, beseech you. I did send,
line 1355After the last enchantment you did here,
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 99 line 1356A ring in chase of you. So did I abuse
line 1357Myself, my servant, and, I fear me, you.
line 1358Under your hard construction must I sit,
120line 1359To force that on you in a shameful cunning
line 1360Which you knew none of yours. What might you
line 1361think?
line 1362Have you not set mine honor at the stake
line 1363And baited it with all th’ unmuzzled thoughts
125line 1364That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your
line 1365receiving
line 1366Enough is shown. A cypress, not a bosom,
line 1367Hides my heart. So, let me hear you speak.
VIOLA
line 1368I pity you.
130line 1369OLIVIAThat’s a degree to love.
VIOLA
line 1370No, not a grize, for ’tis a vulgar proof
line 1371That very oft we pity enemies.
OLIVIA
line 1372Why then methinks ’tis time to smile again.
line 1373O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
135line 1374If one should be a prey, how much the better
line 1375To fall before the lion than the wolf.Clock strikes.
line 1376The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.
line 1377Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you.
line 1378And yet when wit and youth is come to harvest,
140line 1379Your wife is like to reap a proper man.
line 1380There lies your way, due west.
line 1381VIOLAThen westward ho!
line 1382Grace and good disposition attend your Ladyship.
line 1383You’ll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
OLIVIA
145line 1384Stay. I prithee, tell me what thou think’st of me.
VIOLA
line 1385That you do think you are not what you are.
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 101 OLIVIA
line 1386If I think so, I think the same of you.
VIOLA
line 1387Then think you right. I am not what I am.
OLIVIA
line 1388I would you were as I would have you be.
VIOLA
150line 1389Would it be better, madam, than I am?
line 1390I wish it might, for now I am your fool.
OLIVIAaside
line 1391O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
line 1392In the contempt and anger of his lip!
line 1393A murd’rous guilt shows not itself more soon
155line 1394Than love that would seem hid. Love’s night is
line 1395noon.—
line 1396Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
line 1397By maidhood, honor, truth, and everything,
line 1398I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,
160line 1399Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.
line 1400Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
line 1401For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause;
line 1402But rather reason thus with reason fetter:
line 1403Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
VIOLA
165line 1404By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
line 1405I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth,
line 1406And that no woman has, nor never none
line 1407Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
line 1408And so adieu, good madam. Nevermore
170line 1409Will I my master’s tears to you deplore.
OLIVIA
line 1410Yet come again, for thou perhaps mayst move
line 1411That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.

They exit in different directions.

Act 3 Scene 2 - Pg 103

Scene 2

Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian.

line 1412ANDREWNo, faith, I’ll not stay a jot longer.
line 1413TOBYThy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.
line 1414FABIANYou must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.
line 1415ANDREWMarry, I saw your niece do more favors to the
5line 1416Count’s servingman than ever she bestowed upon
line 1417me. I saw ’t i’ th’ orchard.
line 1418TOBYDid she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me
line 1419that.
line 1420ANDREWAs plain as I see you now.
10line 1421FABIANThis was a great argument of love in her toward
line 1422you.
line 1423ANDREW’Slight, will you make an ass o’ me?
line 1424FABIANI will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of
line 1425judgment and reason.
15line 1426TOBYAnd they have been grand-jurymen since before
line 1427Noah was a sailor.
line 1428FABIANShe did show favor to the youth in your sight
line 1429only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse
line 1430valor, to put fire in your heart and brimstone in
20line 1431your liver. You should then have accosted her, and
line 1432with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint,
line 1433you should have banged the youth into dumbness.
line 1434This was looked for at your hand, and this was
line 1435balked. The double gilt of this opportunity you let
25line 1436time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north
line 1437of my lady’s opinion, where you will hang like an
line 1438icicle on a Dutchman’s beard, unless you do redeem
line 1439it by some laudable attempt either of valor or
line 1440policy.
30line 1441ANDREWAn ’t be any way, it must be with valor, for
line 1442policy I hate. I had as lief be a Brownist as a
line 1443politician.
line 1444TOBYWhy, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis
Act 3 Scene 2 - Pg 105 line 1445of valor. Challenge me the Count’s youth to fight
35line 1446with him. Hurt him in eleven places. My niece shall
line 1447take note of it, and assure thyself there is no
line 1448love-broker in the world can more prevail in man’s
line 1449commendation with woman than report of valor.
line 1450FABIANThere is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
40line 1451ANDREWWill either of you bear me a challenge to him?
line 1452TOBYGo, write it in a martial hand. Be curst and
line 1453brief. It is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent
line 1454and full of invention. Taunt him with the license of
line 1455ink. If thou “thou”-est him some thrice, it shall not
45line 1456be amiss, and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of
line 1457paper, although the sheet were big enough for the
line 1458bed of Ware in England, set ’em down. Go, about it.
line 1459Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou
line 1460write with a goose-pen, no matter. About it.
50line 1461ANDREWWhere shall I find you?
line 1462TOBYWe’ll call thee at the cubiculo. Go.

Sir Andrew exits.

line 1463FABIANThis is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.
line 1464TOBYI have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand
line 1465strong or so.
55line 1466FABIANWe shall have a rare letter from him. But you’ll
line 1467not deliver ’t?
line 1468TOBYNever trust me, then. And by all means stir on
line 1469the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes
line 1470cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were
60line 1471opened and you find so much blood in his liver as
line 1472will clog the foot of a flea, I’ll eat the rest of th’
line 1473anatomy.
line 1474FABIANAnd his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage
line 1475no great presage of cruelty.

Enter Maria.

65line 1476TOBYLook where the youngest wren of mine comes.
line 1477MARIAIf you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves
Act 3 Scene 3 - Pg 107 line 1478into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is
line 1479turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no
line 1480Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly
70line 1481can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness.
line 1482He’s in yellow stockings.
line 1483TOBYAnd cross-gartered?
line 1484MARIAMost villainously, like a pedant that keeps a
line 1485school i’ th’ church. I have dogged him like his
75line 1486murderer. He does obey every point of the letter
line 1487that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face
line 1488into more lines than is in the new map with the
line 1489augmentation of the Indies. You have not seen such
line 1490a thing as ’tis. I can hardly forbear hurling things at
80line 1491him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, he’ll
line 1492smile and take ’t for a great favor.
line 1493TOBYCome, bring us, bring us where he is.

They all exit.


Scene 3

Enter Sebastian and Antonio.

SEBASTIAN
line 1494I would not by my will have troubled you,
line 1495But, since you make your pleasure of your pains,
line 1496I will no further chide you.
ANTONIO
line 1497I could not stay behind you. My desire,
5line 1498More sharp than filèd steel, did spur me forth;
line 1499And not all love to see you, though so much
line 1500As might have drawn one to a longer voyage,
line 1501But jealousy what might befall your travel,
line 1502Being skill-less in these parts, which to a stranger,
10line 1503Unguided and unfriended, often prove
line 1504Rough and unhospitable. My willing love,
line 1505The rather by these arguments of fear,
line 1506Set forth in your pursuit.
Act 3 Scene 3 - Pg 109 line 1507SEBASTIANMy kind Antonio,
15line 1508I can no other answer make but thanks,
line 1509And thanks, and ever thanks; and oft good turns
line 1510Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay.
line 1511But were my worth, as is my conscience, firm,
line 1512You should find better dealing. What’s to do?
20line 1513Shall we go see the relics of this town?
ANTONIO
line 1514Tomorrow, sir. Best first go see your lodging.
SEBASTIAN
line 1515I am not weary, and ’tis long to night.
line 1516I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes
line 1517With the memorials and the things of fame
25line 1518That do renown this city.
line 1519ANTONIOWould you’d pardon me.
line 1520I do not without danger walk these streets.
line 1521Once in a sea fight ’gainst the Count his galleys
line 1522I did some service, of such note indeed
30line 1523That were I ta’en here it would scarce be answered.
SEBASTIAN
line 1524Belike you slew great number of his people?
ANTONIO
line 1525Th’ offense is not of such a bloody nature,
line 1526Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel
line 1527Might well have given us bloody argument.
35line 1528It might have since been answered in repaying
line 1529What we took from them, which, for traffic’s sake,
line 1530Most of our city did. Only myself stood out,
line 1531For which, if I be lapsèd in this place,
line 1532I shall pay dear.
40line 1533SEBASTIANDo not then walk too open.
ANTONIO
line 1534It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here’s my purse.

Giving him money.

line 1535In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,
line 1536Is best to lodge. I will bespeak our diet
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 111 line 1537Whiles you beguile the time and feed your
45line 1538knowledge
line 1539With viewing of the town. There shall you have me.
line 1540SEBASTIANWhy I your purse?
ANTONIO
line 1541Haply your eye shall light upon some toy
line 1542You have desire to purchase, and your store,
50line 1543I think, is not for idle markets, sir.
SEBASTIAN
line 1544I’ll be your purse-bearer and leave you
line 1545For an hour.
line 1546ANTONIOTo th’ Elephant.
line 1547SEBASTIANI do remember.

They exit in different directions.


Scene 4

Enter Olivia and Maria.

OLIVIAaside
line 1548I have sent after him. He says he’ll come.
line 1549How shall I feast him? What bestow of him?
line 1550For youth is bought more oft than begged or
line 1551borrowed.
5line 1552I speak too loud.—
line 1553Where’s Malvolio? He is sad and civil
line 1554And suits well for a servant with my fortunes.
line 1555Where is Malvolio?
line 1556MARIAHe’s coming, madam, but in very strange manner.
10line 1557He is sure possessed, madam.
line 1558OLIVIAWhy, what’s the matter? Does he rave?
line 1559MARIANo, madam, he does nothing but smile. Your
line 1560Ladyship were best to have some guard about you if
line 1561he come, for sure the man is tainted in ’s wits.
OLIVIA
15line 1562Go call him hither. Maria exits. I am as mad as he,
line 1563If sad and merry madness equal be.
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 113

Enter Maria with Malvolio.

line 1564How now, Malvolio?
line 1565MALVOLIOSweet lady, ho, ho!
line 1566OLIVIASmil’st thou? I sent for thee upon a sad
20line 1567occasion.
line 1568MALVOLIOSad, lady? I could be sad. This does make
line 1569some obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering,
line 1570but what of that? If it please the eye of one, it is
line 1571with me as the very true sonnet is: “Please one, and
25line 1572please all.”
line 1573OLIVIAWhy, how dost thou, man? What is the matter
line 1574with thee?
line 1575MALVOLIONot black in my mind, though yellow in my
line 1576legs. It did come to his hands, and commands shall
30line 1577be executed. I think we do know the sweet Roman
line 1578hand.
line 1579OLIVIAWilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?
line 1580MALVOLIOTo bed? “Ay, sweetheart, and I’ll come to
line 1581thee.”
35line 1582OLIVIAGod comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and
line 1583kiss thy hand so oft?
line 1584MARIAHow do you, Malvolio?
line 1585MALVOLIOAt your request? Yes, nightingales answer
line 1586daws!
40line 1587MARIAWhy appear you with this ridiculous boldness
line 1588before my lady?
line 1589MALVOLIO“Be not afraid of greatness.” ’Twas well
line 1590writ.
line 1591OLIVIAWhat mean’st thou by that, Malvolio?
45line 1592MALVOLIO“Some are born great—”
line 1593OLIVIAHa?
line 1594MALVOLIO“Some achieve greatness—”
line 1595OLIVIAWhat sayst thou?
line 1596MALVOLIO“And some have greatness thrust upon
50line 1597them.”
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 115 line 1598OLIVIAHeaven restore thee!
line 1599MALVOLIO“Remember who commended thy yellow
line 1600stockings—”
line 1601OLIVIAThy yellow stockings?
55line 1602MALVOLIO“And wished to see thee cross-gartered.”
line 1603OLIVIACross-gartered?
line 1604MALVOLIO“Go to, thou art made, if thou desir’st to be
line 1605so—”
line 1606OLIVIAAm I made?
60line 1607MALVOLIO“If not, let me see thee a servant still.”
line 1608OLIVIAWhy, this is very midsummer madness!

Enter Servant.

line 1609SERVANTMadam, the young gentleman of the Count
line 1610Orsino’s is returned. I could hardly entreat him
line 1611back. He attends your Ladyship’s pleasure.
65line 1612OLIVIAI’ll come to him. Servant exits. Good Maria, let
line 1613this fellow be looked to. Where’s my Cousin Toby?
line 1614Let some of my people have a special care of him. I
line 1615would not have him miscarry for the half of my
line 1616dowry.

Olivia and Maria exit in different directions.

70line 1617MALVOLIOO ho, do you come near me now? No worse
line 1618man than Sir Toby to look to me. This concurs
line 1619directly with the letter. She sends him on purpose
line 1620that I may appear stubborn to him, for she incites
line 1621me to that in the letter: “Cast thy humble slough,”
75line 1622says she. “Be opposite with a kinsman, surly with
line 1623servants; let thy tongue tang with arguments of
line 1624state; put thyself into the trick of singularity,” and
line 1625consequently sets down the manner how: as, a sad
line 1626face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit
80line 1627of some Sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her,
line 1628but it is Jove’s doing, and Jove make me thankful!
line 1629And when she went away now, “Let this fellow be
line 1630looked to.” “Fellow!” Not “Malvolio,” nor after my
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 117 line 1631degree, but “fellow.” Why, everything adheres together,
85line 1632that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a
line 1633scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe
line 1634circumstance—what can be said? Nothing that can
line 1635be can come between me and the full prospect of
line 1636my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and
90line 1637he is to be thanked.

Enter Toby, Fabian, and Maria.

line 1638TOBYWhich way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all
line 1639the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion
line 1640himself possessed him, yet I’ll speak to him.
line 1641FABIANHere he is, here he is.—How is ’t with you, sir?
95line 1642How is ’t with you, man?
line 1643MALVOLIOGo off, I discard you. Let me enjoy my
line 1644private. Go off.
line 1645MARIAto Toby Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks
line 1646within him! Did not I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady
100line 1647prays you to have a care of him.
line 1648MALVOLIOAha, does she so?
line 1649TOBYto Fabian and Maria Go to, go to! Peace, peace.
line 1650We must deal gently with him. Let me alone.—How
line 1651do you, Malvolio? How is ’t with you? What, man,
105line 1652defy the devil! Consider, he’s an enemy to mankind.
line 1653MALVOLIODo you know what you say?
line 1654MARIAto Toby La you, an you speak ill of the devil,
line 1655how he takes it at heart! Pray God he be not
line 1656bewitched!
110line 1657FABIANCarry his water to th’ wisewoman.
line 1658MARIAMarry, and it shall be done tomorrow morning
line 1659if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than
line 1660I’ll say.
line 1661MALVOLIOHow now, mistress?
115line 1662MARIAO Lord!
line 1663TOBYPrithee, hold thy peace. This is not the way. Do
line 1664you not see you move him? Let me alone with
line 1665him.
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 119 line 1666FABIANNo way but gentleness, gently, gently. The
120line 1667fiend is rough and will not be roughly used.
line 1668TOBYto Malvolio Why, how now, my bawcock? How
line 1669dost thou, chuck?
line 1670MALVOLIOSir!
line 1671TOBYAy, biddy, come with me.—What, man, ’tis not
125line 1672for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang
line 1673him, foul collier!
line 1674MARIAGet him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby; get
line 1675him to pray.
line 1676MALVOLIOMy prayers, minx?
130line 1677MARIAto Toby No, I warrant you, he will not hear of
line 1678godliness.
line 1679MALVOLIOGo hang yourselves all! You are idle, shallow
line 1680things. I am not of your element. You shall
line 1681know more hereafter.He exits.
135line 1682TOBYIs ’t possible?
line 1683FABIANIf this were played upon a stage now, I could
line 1684condemn it as an improbable fiction.
line 1685TOBYHis very genius hath taken the infection of the
line 1686device, man.
140line 1687MARIANay, pursue him now, lest the device take air
line 1688and taint.
line 1689FABIANWhy, we shall make him mad indeed.
line 1690MARIAThe house will be the quieter.
line 1691TOBYCome, we’ll have him in a dark room and
145line 1692bound. My niece is already in the belief that he’s
line 1693mad. We may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his
line 1694penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath,
line 1695prompt us to have mercy on him, at which time we
line 1696will bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a
150line 1697finder of madmen. But see, but see!

Enter Sir Andrew.

line 1698FABIANMore matter for a May morning.
line 1699ANDREWpresenting a paper Here’s the challenge.
line 1700Read it. I warrant there’s vinegar and pepper in ’t.
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 121 line 1701FABIANIs ’t so saucy?
155line 1702ANDREWAy, is ’t. I warrant him. Do but read.
line 1703TOBYGive me. He reads. Youth, whatsoever thou art,
line 1704thou art but a scurvy fellow.
line 1705FABIANGood, and valiant.
line 1706TOBYreads Wonder not nor admire not in thy mind
160line 1707why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason
line 1708for ’t.
line 1709FABIANA good note, that keeps you from the blow of
line 1710the law.
line 1711TOBYreads Thou com’st to the Lady Olivia, and in my
165line 1712sight she uses thee kindly. But thou liest in thy throat;
line 1713that is not the matter I challenge thee for.
line 1714FABIANVery brief, and to exceeding good sense—less.
line 1715TOBYreads I will waylay thee going home, where if it be
line 1716thy chance to kill me—
170line 1717FABIANGood.
line 1718TOBYreads Thou kill’st me like a rogue and a villain.
line 1719FABIANStill you keep o’ th’ windy side of the law.
line 1720Good.
line 1721TOBYreads Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon
175line 1722one of our souls. He may have mercy upon mine, but
line 1723my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as
line 1724thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,
line 1725Andrew Aguecheek.
line 1726If this letter move him not, his legs cannot. I’ll
180line 1727give ’t him.
line 1728MARIAYou may have very fit occasion for ’t. He is now
line 1729in some commerce with my lady and will by and
line 1730by depart.
line 1731TOBYGo, Sir Andrew. Scout me for him at the corner
185line 1732of the orchard like a bum-baily. So soon as ever
line 1733thou seest him, draw, and as thou draw’st, swear
line 1734horrible, for it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath,
line 1735with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives
line 1736manhood more approbation than ever proof itself
190line 1737would have earned him. Away!
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 123 line 1738ANDREWNay, let me alone for swearing.He exits.
line 1739TOBYNow will not I deliver his letter, for the behavior
line 1740of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good
line 1741capacity and breeding; his employment between
195line 1742his lord and my niece confirms no less. Therefore,
line 1743this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed
line 1744no terror in the youth. He will find it comes from a
line 1745clodpoll. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by
line 1746word of mouth, set upon Aguecheek a notable
200line 1747report of valor, and drive the gentleman (as I know
line 1748his youth will aptly receive it) into a most hideous
line 1749opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This
line 1750will so fright them both that they will kill one
line 1751another by the look, like cockatrices.

Enter Olivia and Viola.

205line 1752FABIANHere he comes with your niece. Give them
line 1753way till he take leave, and presently after him.
line 1754TOBYI will meditate the while upon some horrid
line 1755message for a challenge.

Toby, Fabian, and Maria exit.

OLIVIA
line 1756I have said too much unto a heart of stone
210line 1757And laid mine honor too unchary on ’t.
line 1758There’s something in me that reproves my fault,
line 1759But such a headstrong potent fault it is
line 1760That it but mocks reproof.
VIOLA
line 1761With the same ’havior that your passion bears
215line 1762Goes on my master’s griefs.
OLIVIA
line 1763Here, wear this jewel for me. ’Tis my picture.
line 1764Refuse it not. It hath no tongue to vex you.
line 1765And I beseech you come again tomorrow.
line 1766What shall you ask of me that I’ll deny,
220line 1767That honor, saved, may upon asking give?
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 125 VIOLA
line 1768Nothing but this: your true love for my master.
OLIVIA
line 1769How with mine honor may I give him that
line 1770Which I have given to you?
line 1771VIOLAI will acquit you.
OLIVIA
225line 1772Well, come again tomorrow. Fare thee well.
line 1773A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.

She exits.

Enter Toby and Fabian.

line 1774TOBYGentleman, God save thee.
line 1775VIOLAAnd you, sir.
line 1776TOBYThat defense thou hast, betake thee to ’t. Of what
230line 1777nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know
line 1778not, but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as
line 1779the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end. Dismount
line 1780thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy
line 1781assailant is quick, skillful, and deadly.
235line 1782VIOLAYou mistake, sir. I am sure no man hath any
line 1783quarrel to me. My remembrance is very free and
line 1784clear from any image of offense done to any man.
line 1785TOBYYou’ll find it otherwise, I assure you. Therefore,
line 1786if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your
240line 1787guard, for your opposite hath in him what youth,
line 1788strength, skill, and wrath can furnish man withal.
line 1789VIOLAI pray you, sir, what is he?
line 1790TOBYHe is knight dubbed with unhatched rapier and
line 1791on carpet consideration, but he is a devil in private
245line 1792brawl. Souls and bodies hath he divorced three, and
line 1793his incensement at this moment is so implacable
line 1794that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death
line 1795and sepulcher. “Hob, nob” is his word; “give ’t or
line 1796take ’t.”
250line 1797VIOLAI will return again into the house and desire
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 127 line 1798some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have
line 1799heard of some kind of men that put quarrels purposely
line 1800on others to taste their valor. Belike this is a
line 1801man of that quirk.
255line 1802TOBYSir, no. His indignation derives itself out of a very
line 1803competent injury. Therefore get you on and give
line 1804him his desire. Back you shall not to the house,
line 1805unless you undertake that with me which with as
line 1806much safety you might answer him. Therefore on,
260line 1807or strip your sword stark naked, for meddle you
line 1808must, that’s certain, or forswear to wear iron about
line 1809you.
line 1810VIOLAThis is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do
line 1811me this courteous office, as to know of the knight
265line 1812what my offense to him is. It is something of my
line 1813negligence, nothing of my purpose.
line 1814TOBYI will do so.—Signior Fabian, stay you by this
line 1815gentleman till my return.Toby exits.
line 1816VIOLAPray you, sir, do you know of this matter?
270line 1817FABIANI know the knight is incensed against you even
line 1818to a mortal arbitrament, but nothing of the circumstance
line 1819more.
line 1820VIOLAI beseech you, what manner of man is he?
line 1821FABIANNothing of that wonderful promise, to read
275line 1822him by his form, as you are like to find him in the
line 1823proof of his valor. He is indeed, sir, the most skillful,
line 1824bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly
line 1825have found in any part of Illyria. Will you walk
line 1826towards him? I will make your peace with him if I
280line 1827can.
line 1828VIOLAI shall be much bound to you for ’t. I am one
line 1829that had rather go with Sir Priest than Sir Knight, I
line 1830care not who knows so much of my mettle.

They exit.

Enter Toby and Andrew.

Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 129 line 1831TOBYWhy, man, he’s a very devil. I have not seen such
285line 1832a firago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard,
line 1833and all, and he gives me the stuck-in with such
line 1834a mortal motion that it is inevitable; and on the
line 1835answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hits the
line 1836ground they step on. They say he has been fencer
290line 1837to the Sophy.
line 1838ANDREWPox on ’t! I’ll not meddle with him.
line 1839TOBYAy, but he will not now be pacified. Fabian can
line 1840scarce hold him yonder.
line 1841ANDREWPlague on ’t! An I thought he had been
295line 1842valiant, and so cunning in fence, I’d have seen him
line 1843damned ere I’d have challenged him. Let him let
line 1844the matter slip, and I’ll give him my horse, gray
line 1845Capilet.
line 1846TOBYI’ll make the motion. Stand here, make a good
300line 1847show on ’t. This shall end without the perdition of
line 1848souls. Aside. Marry, I’ll ride your horse as well as I
line 1849ride you.

Enter Fabian and Viola.

Toby crosses to meet them.

line 1850Aside to Fabian. I have his horse to take up the
line 1851quarrel. I have persuaded him the youth’s a devil.
305line 1852FABIANaside to Toby He is as horribly conceited of
line 1853him, and pants and looks pale as if a bear were at his
line 1854heels.
line 1855TOBYto Viola There’s no remedy, sir; he will fight
line 1856with you for ’s oath sake. Marry, he hath better
310line 1857bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now
line 1858scarce to be worth talking of. Therefore, draw for
line 1859the supportance of his vow. He protests he will not
line 1860hurt you.
line 1861VIOLAPray God defend me! Aside. A little thing
315line 1862would make me tell them how much I lack of a
line 1863man.
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 131 line 1864FABIANGive ground if you see him furious.

Toby crosses to Andrew.

line 1865TOBYCome, Sir Andrew, there’s no remedy. The
line 1866gentleman will, for his honor’s sake, have one bout
320line 1867with you. He cannot by the duello avoid it. But he
line 1868has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier,
line 1869he will not hurt you. Come on, to ’t.
line 1870ANDREWdrawing his sword Pray God he keep his
line 1871oath!
VIOLAdrawing her sword
325line 1872I do assure you ’tis against my will.

Enter Antonio.

ANTONIOto Andrew
line 1873Put up your sword. If this young gentleman
line 1874Have done offense, I take the fault on me.
line 1875If you offend him, I for him defy you.
line 1876TOBYYou, sir? Why, what are you?
ANTONIOdrawing his sword
330line 1877One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
line 1878Than you have heard him brag to you he will.
TOBYdrawing his sword
line 1879Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.

Enter Officers.

line 1880FABIANO, good Sir Toby, hold! Here come the officers.
line 1881TOBYto Antonio I’ll be with you anon.
335line 1882VIOLAto Andrew Pray, sir, put your sword up, if
line 1883you please.
line 1884ANDREWMarry, will I, sir. And for that I promised
line 1885you, I’ll be as good as my word. He will bear you
line 1886easily, and reins well.
340line 1887FIRST OFFICERThis is the man. Do thy office.
line 1888SECOND OFFICERAntonio, I arrest thee at the suit of
line 1889Count Orsino.
line 1890ANTONIOYou do mistake me, sir.
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 133 FIRST OFFICER
line 1891No, sir, no jot. I know your favor well,
345line 1892Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.—
line 1893Take him away. He knows I know him well.
ANTONIO
line 1894I must obey. To Viola. This comes with seeking
line 1895you.
line 1896But there’s no remedy. I shall answer it.
350line 1897What will you do, now my necessity
line 1898Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
line 1899Much more for what I cannot do for you
line 1900Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed,
line 1901But be of comfort.
355line 1902SECOND OFFICERCome, sir, away.
ANTONIOto Viola
line 1903I must entreat of you some of that money.
line 1904VIOLAWhat money, sir?
line 1905For the fair kindness you have showed me here,
line 1906And part being prompted by your present trouble,
360line 1907Out of my lean and low ability
line 1908I’ll lend you something. My having is not much.
line 1909I’ll make division of my present with you.
line 1910Hold, there’s half my coffer.Offering him money.
line 1911ANTONIOWill you deny me now?
365line 1912Is ’t possible that my deserts to you
line 1913Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,
line 1914Lest that it make me so unsound a man
line 1915As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
line 1916That I have done for you.
370line 1917VIOLAI know of none,
line 1918Nor know I you by voice or any feature.
line 1919I hate ingratitude more in a man
line 1920Than lying, vainness, babbling drunkenness,
line 1921Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
375line 1922Inhabits our frail blood—
line 1923ANTONIOO heavens themselves!
Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 135 line 1924SECOND OFFICERCome, sir, I pray you go.
ANTONIO
line 1925Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
line 1926I snatched one half out of the jaws of death,
380line 1927Relieved him with such sanctity of love,
line 1928And to his image, which methought did promise
line 1929Most venerable worth, did I devotion.
FIRST OFFICER
line 1930What’s that to us? The time goes by. Away!
ANTONIO
line 1931But O, how vile an idol proves this god!
385line 1932Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
line 1933In nature there’s no blemish but the mind;
line 1934None can be called deformed but the unkind.
line 1935Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil
line 1936Are empty trunks o’erflourished by the devil.
FIRST OFFICER
390line 1937The man grows mad. Away with him.—Come,
line 1938come, sir.
line 1939ANTONIOLead me on.

Antonio and Officers exit.

VIOLAaside
line 1940Methinks his words do from such passion fly
line 1941That he believes himself; so do not I.
395line 1942Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
line 1943That I, dear brother, be now ta’en for you!
line 1944TOBYCome hither, knight; come hither, Fabian. We’ll
line 1945whisper o’er a couplet or two of most sage saws.

Toby, Fabian, and Andrew move aside.

VIOLAaside
line 1946He named Sebastian. I my brother know
400line 1947Yet living in my glass. Even such and so
line 1948In favor was my brother, and he went
line 1949Still in this fashion, color, ornament,
line 1950For him I imitate. O, if it prove,
line 1951Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love!

She exits.

Act 3 Scene 4 - Pg 137 405line 1952TOBYA very dishonest, paltry boy, and more a coward
line 1953than a hare. His dishonesty appears in leaving his
line 1954friend here in necessity and denying him; and for
line 1955his cowardship, ask Fabian.
line 1956FABIANA coward, a most devout coward, religious
410line 1957in it.
line 1958ANDREW’Slid, I’ll after him again and beat him.
line 1959TOBYDo, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy
line 1960sword.
line 1961ANDREWAn I do not—
415line 1962FABIANCome, let’s see the event.
line 1963TOBYI dare lay any money ’twill be nothing yet.

They exit.


ACT 4


Scene 1

Enter Sebastian and Feste, the Fool.

line 1964FOOLWill you make me believe that I am not sent for
line 1965you?
line 1966SEBASTIANGo to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow. Let
line 1967me be clear of thee.
5line 1968FOOLWell held out, i’ faith. No, I do not know you, nor
line 1969I am not sent to you by my lady to bid you come
line 1970speak with her, nor your name is not Master
line 1971Cesario, nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing
line 1972that is so is so.
10line 1973SEBASTIANI prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else.
line 1974Thou know’st not me.
line 1975FOOLVent my folly? He has heard that word of some
line 1976great man and now applies it to a Fool. Vent my
line 1977folly? I am afraid this great lubber the world will
15line 1978prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness
line 1979and tell me what I shall vent to my lady. Shall I
line 1980vent to her that thou art coming?
line 1981SEBASTIANI prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me.
line 1982There’s money for thee. Giving money. If you
20line 1983tarry longer, I shall give worse payment.
line 1984FOOLBy my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise
line 1985men that give Fools money get themselves a good
line 1986report—after fourteen years’ purchase.
Act 4 Scene 1 - Pg 143

Enter Andrew, Toby, and Fabian.

line 1987ANDREWto Sebastian Now, sir, have I met you again?
25line 1988There’s for you.He strikes Sebastian.
line 1989SEBASTIANreturning the blow Why, there’s for thee,
line 1990and there, and there.—Are all the people mad?
line 1991TOBYHold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the
line 1992house.
30line 1993FOOLaside This will I tell my lady straight. I would
line 1994not be in some of your coats for twopence.

He exits.

line 1995TOBYseizing Sebastian Come on, sir, hold!
line 1996ANDREWNay, let him alone. I’ll go another way to
line 1997work with him. I’ll have an action of battery against
35line 1998him, if there be any law in Illyria. Though I struck
line 1999him first, yet it’s no matter for that.
line 2000SEBASTIANto Toby Let go thy hand!
line 2001TOBYCome, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young
line 2002soldier, put up your iron. You are well fleshed.
40line 2003Come on.
SEBASTIAN
line 2004I will be free from thee.

He pulls free and draws his sword.

line 2005What wouldst thou now?
line 2006If thou dar’st tempt me further, draw thy sword.
line 2007TOBYWhat, what? Nay, then, I must have an ounce or
45line 2008two of this malapert blood from you.

He draws his sword.

Enter Olivia.

OLIVIA
line 2009Hold, Toby! On thy life I charge thee, hold!
line 2010TOBYMadam.
OLIVIA
line 2011Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
line 2012Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,
Act 4 Scene 2 - Pg 145 50line 2013Where manners ne’er were preached! Out of my
line 2014sight!—
line 2015Be not offended, dear Cesario.—
line 2016Rudesby, begone!Toby, Andrew, and Fabian exit.
line 2017I prithee, gentle friend,
55line 2018Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
line 2019In this uncivil and unjust extent
line 2020Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
line 2021And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
line 2022This ruffian hath botched up, that thou thereby
60line 2023Mayst smile at this. Thou shalt not choose but go.
line 2024Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me!
line 2025He started one poor heart of mine, in thee.
SEBASTIANaside
line 2026What relish is in this? How runs the stream?
line 2027Or I am mad, or else this is a dream.
65line 2028Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
line 2029If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!
OLIVIA
line 2030Nay, come, I prithee. Would thou ’dst be ruled by
line 2031me!
SEBASTIAN
line 2032Madam, I will.
70line 2033OLIVIAO, say so, and so be!

They exit.


Scene 2

Enter Maria and Feste, the Fool.

line 2034MARIANay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard;
line 2035make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate. Do
line 2036it quickly. I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst.She exits.
line 2037FOOLWell, I’ll put it on and I will dissemble myself in
5line 2038’t, and I would I were the first that ever dissembled
line 2039in such a gown. He puts on gown and beard. I am
Act 4 Scene 2 - Pg 147 line 2040not tall enough to become the function well, nor
line 2041lean enough to be thought a good student, but to be
line 2042said an honest man and a good housekeeper goes as
10line 2043fairly as to say a careful man and a great scholar.
line 2044The competitors enter.

Enter Toby and Maria.

line 2045TOBYJove bless thee, Master Parson.
line 2046FOOLBonos dies, Sir Toby; for, as the old hermit of
line 2047Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said
15line 2048to a niece of King Gorboduc “That that is, is,” so I,
line 2049being Master Parson, am Master Parson; for what is
line 2050“that” but “that” and “is” but “is”?
line 2051TOBYTo him, Sir Topas.
line 2052FOOLdisguising his voice What ho, I say! Peace in this
20line 2053prison!
line 2054TOBYThe knave counterfeits well. A good knave.

Malvolio within.

line 2055MALVOLIOWho calls there?
line 2056FOOLSir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio
line 2057the lunatic.
25line 2058MALVOLIOSir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to
line 2059my lady—
line 2060FOOLOut, hyperbolical fiend! How vexest thou this
line 2061man! Talkest thou nothing but of ladies?
line 2062TOBYaside Well said, Master Parson.
30line 2063MALVOLIOSir Topas, never was man thus wronged.
line 2064Good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad. They have
line 2065laid me here in hideous darkness—
line 2066FOOLFie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most
line 2067modest terms, for I am one of those gentle ones
35line 2068that will use the devil himself with courtesy. Sayst
line 2069thou that house is dark?
line 2070MALVOLIOAs hell, Sir Topas.
Act 4 Scene 2 - Pg 149 line 2071FOOLWhy, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes,
line 2072and the clerestories toward the south-north
40line 2073are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest
line 2074thou of obstruction?
line 2075MALVOLIOI am not mad, Sir Topas. I say to you this
line 2076house is dark.
line 2077FOOLMadman, thou errest. I say there is no darkness
45line 2078but ignorance, in which thou art more puzzled than
line 2079the Egyptians in their fog.
line 2080MALVOLIOI say this house is as dark as ignorance,
line 2081though ignorance were as dark as hell. And I say
line 2082there was never man thus abused. I am no more
50line 2083mad than you are. Make the trial of it in any
line 2084constant question.
line 2085FOOLWhat is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning
line 2086wildfowl?
line 2087MALVOLIOThat the soul of our grandam might haply
55line 2088inhabit a bird.
line 2089FOOLWhat thinkst thou of his opinion?
line 2090MALVOLIOI think nobly of the soul, and no way
line 2091approve his opinion.
line 2092FOOLFare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness.
60line 2093Thou shalt hold th’ opinion of Pythagoras ere I will
line 2094allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock lest
line 2095thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee
line 2096well.
line 2097MALVOLIOSir Topas, Sir Topas!
65line 2098TOBYMy most exquisite Sir Topas!
line 2099FOOLNay, I am for all waters.
line 2100MARIAThou mightst have done this without thy beard
line 2101and gown. He sees thee not.
line 2102TOBYTo him in thine own voice, and bring me word
70line 2103how thou find’st him. I would we were well rid
line 2104of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered,
line 2105I would he were, for I am now so far in
line 2106offense with my niece that I cannot pursue with
Act 4 Scene 2 - Pg 151 line 2107any safety this sport the upshot. Come by and by
75line 2108to my chamber.

Toby and Maria exit.

FOOLsings, in his own voice
line 2109Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,
line 2110Tell me how thy lady does.
line 2111MALVOLIOFool!
FOOLsings
line 2112My lady is unkind, perdy.
80line 2113MALVOLIOFool!
FOOLsings
line 2114Alas, why is she so?
line 2115MALVOLIOFool, I say!
FOOLsings
line 2116She loves another—
line 2117Who calls, ha?
85line 2118MALVOLIOGood fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at
line 2119my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and
line 2120paper. As I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful
line 2121to thee for ’t.
line 2122FOOLMaster Malvolio?
90line 2123MALVOLIOAy, good Fool.
line 2124FOOLAlas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?
line 2125MALVOLIOFool, there was never man so notoriously
line 2126abused. I am as well in my wits, Fool, as thou art.
line 2127FOOLBut as well? Then you are mad indeed, if you be
95line 2128no better in your wits than a Fool.
line 2129MALVOLIOThey have here propertied me, keep me in
line 2130darkness, send ministers to me—asses!—and do
line 2131all they can to face me out of my wits.
line 2132FOOLAdvise you what you say. The minister is here.
100line 2133In the voice of Sir Topas. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy
line 2134wits the heavens restore. Endeavor thyself to sleep
line 2135and leave thy vain bibble-babble.
line 2136MALVOLIOSir Topas!
Act 4 Scene 2 - Pg 153 line 2137FOOLas Sir Topas Maintain no words with him, good
105line 2138fellow. As Fool. Who, I, sir? Not I, sir! God buy
line 2139you, good Sir Topas. As Sir Topas. Marry, amen.
line 2140As Fool. I will, sir, I will.
line 2141MALVOLIOFool! Fool! Fool, I say!
line 2142FOOLAlas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am
110line 2143shent for speaking to you.
line 2144MALVOLIOGood Fool, help me to some light and some
line 2145paper. I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any
line 2146man in Illyria.
line 2147FOOLWelladay that you were, sir!
115line 2148MALVOLIOBy this hand, I am. Good Fool, some ink,
line 2149paper, and light; and convey what I will set down to
line 2150my lady. It shall advantage thee more than ever the
line 2151bearing of letter did.
line 2152FOOLI will help you to ’t. But tell me true, are you not
120line 2153mad indeed, or do you but counterfeit?
line 2154MALVOLIOBelieve me, I am not. I tell thee true.
line 2155FOOLNay, I’ll ne’er believe a madman till I see his
line 2156brains. I will fetch you light and paper and ink.
line 2157MALVOLIOFool, I’ll requite it in the highest degree. I
125line 2158prithee, begone.
FOOLsings
line 2159I am gone, sir, and anon, sir,
line 2160I’ll be with you again,
line 2161In a trice, like to the old Vice,
line 2162Your need to sustain.
130line 2163Who with dagger of lath, in his rage and his wrath,
line 2164Cries “aha!” to the devil;
line 2165Like a mad lad, “Pare thy nails, dad!
line 2166Adieu, goodman devil.”

He exits.

Act 4 Scene 3 - Pg 155

Scene 3

Enter Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN
line 2167This is the air; that is the glorious sun.
line 2168This pearl she gave me, I do feel ’t and see ’t.
line 2169And though ’tis wonder that enwraps me thus,
line 2170Yet ’tis not madness. Where’s Antonio, then?
5line 2171I could not find him at the Elephant.
line 2172Yet there he was; and there I found this credit,
line 2173That he did range the town to seek me out.
line 2174His counsel now might do me golden service.
line 2175For though my soul disputes well with my sense
10line 2176That this may be some error, but no madness,
line 2177Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune
line 2178So far exceed all instance, all discourse,
line 2179That I am ready to distrust mine eyes
line 2180And wrangle with my reason that persuades me
15line 2181To any other trust but that I am mad—
line 2182Or else the lady’s mad. Yet if ’twere so,
line 2183She could not sway her house, command her
line 2184followers,
line 2185Take and give back affairs and their dispatch
20line 2186With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing
line 2187As I perceive she does. There’s something in ’t
line 2188That is deceivable. But here the lady comes.

Enter Olivia, and a Priest.

OLIVIAto Sebastian
line 2189Blame not this haste of mine. If you mean well,
line 2190Now go with me and with this holy man
25line 2191Into the chantry by. There, before him
line 2192And underneath that consecrated roof,
line 2193Plight me the full assurance of your faith,
line 2194That my most jealous and too doubtful soul
line 2195May live at peace. He shall conceal it
Act 4 Scene 3 - Pg 157 30line 2196Whiles you are willing it shall come to note,
line 2197What time we will our celebration keep
line 2198According to my birth. What do you say?
SEBASTIAN
line 2199I’ll follow this good man and go with you,
line 2200And, having sworn truth, ever will be true.
OLIVIA
35line 2201Then lead the way, good father, and heavens so
line 2202shine
line 2203That they may fairly note this act of mine.

They exit.


ACT 5


Scene 1

Enter Feste, the Fool and Fabian.

line 2204FABIANNow, as thou lov’st me, let me see his letter.
line 2205FOOLGood Master Fabian, grant me another request.
line 2206FABIANAnything.
line 2207FOOLDo not desire to see this letter.
5line 2208FABIANThis is to give a dog and in recompense desire
line 2209my dog again.

Enter Orsino, Viola, Curio, and Lords.

ORSINO
line 2210Belong you to the Lady Olivia, friends?
line 2211FOOLAy, sir, we are some of her trappings.
ORSINO
line 2212I know thee well. How dost thou, my good fellow?
10line 2213FOOLTruly, sir, the better for my foes and the worse
line 2214for my friends.
ORSINO
line 2215Just the contrary: the better for thy friends.
line 2216FOOLNo, sir, the worse.
line 2217ORSINOHow can that be?
15line 2218FOOLMarry, sir, they praise me and make an ass of me.
line 2219Now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass; so that by
line 2220my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself, and
line 2221by my friends I am abused. So that, conclusions to
line 2222be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 163 20line 2223affirmatives, why then the worse for my friends and
line 2224the better for my foes.
line 2225ORSINOWhy, this is excellent.
line 2226FOOLBy my troth, sir, no—though it please you to be
line 2227one of my friends.
ORSINOgiving a coin
25line 2228Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there’s gold.
line 2229FOOLBut that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would
line 2230you could make it another.
line 2231ORSINOO, you give me ill counsel.
line 2232FOOLPut your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once,
30line 2233and let your flesh and blood obey it.
line 2234ORSINOWell, I will be so much a sinner to be a
line 2235double-dealer: there’s another.He gives a coin.
line 2236FOOLPrimo, secundo, tertio is a good play, and the old
line 2237saying is, the third pays for all. The triplex, sir, is a
35line 2238good tripping measure, or the bells of Saint Bennet,
line 2239sir, may put you in mind—one, two, three.
line 2240ORSINOYou can fool no more money out of me at this
line 2241throw. If you will let your lady know I am here to
line 2242speak with her, and bring her along with you, it
40line 2243may awake my bounty further.
line 2244FOOLMarry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come
line 2245again. I go, sir, but I would not have you to think
line 2246that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness.
line 2247But, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap. I
45line 2248will awake it anon.He exits.

Enter Antonio and Officers.

VIOLA
line 2249Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me.
ORSINO
line 2250That face of his I do remember well.
line 2251Yet when I saw it last, it was besmeared
line 2252As black as Vulcan in the smoke of war.
50line 2253A baubling vessel was he captain of,
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 165 line 2254For shallow draught and bulk unprizable,
line 2255With which such scatheful grapple did he make
line 2256With the most noble bottom of our fleet
line 2257That very envy and the tongue of loss
55line 2258Cried fame and honor on him.—What’s the matter?
FIRST OFFICER
line 2259Orsino, this is that Antonio
line 2260That took the Phoenix and her fraught from Candy,
line 2261And this is he that did the Tiger board
line 2262When your young nephew Titus lost his leg.
60line 2263Here in the streets, desperate of shame and state,
line 2264In private brabble did we apprehend him.
VIOLA
line 2265He did me kindness, sir, drew on my side,
line 2266But in conclusion put strange speech upon me.
line 2267I know not what ’twas but distraction.
ORSINO
65line 2268Notable pirate, thou saltwater thief,
line 2269What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies
line 2270Whom thou, in terms so bloody and so dear,
line 2271Hast made thine enemies?
line 2272ANTONIOOrsino, noble sir,
70line 2273Be pleased that I shake off these names you give
line 2274me.
line 2275Antonio never yet was thief or pirate,
line 2276Though, I confess, on base and ground enough,
line 2277Orsino’s enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither.
75line 2278That most ingrateful boy there by your side
line 2279From the rude sea’s enraged and foamy mouth
line 2280Did I redeem; a wrack past hope he was.
line 2281His life I gave him and did thereto add
line 2282My love, without retention or restraint,
80line 2283All his in dedication. For his sake
line 2284Did I expose myself, pure for his love,
line 2285Into the danger of this adverse town;
line 2286Drew to defend him when he was beset;
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 167 line 2287Where, being apprehended, his false cunning
85line 2288(Not meaning to partake with me in danger)
line 2289Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance
line 2290And grew a twenty years’ removèd thing
line 2291While one would wink; denied me mine own purse,
line 2292Which I had recommended to his use
90line 2293Not half an hour before.
line 2294VIOLAHow can this be?
line 2295ORSINOto Antonio When came he to this town?
ANTONIO
line 2296Today, my lord; and for three months before,
line 2297No int’rim, not a minute’s vacancy,
95line 2298Both day and night did we keep company.

Enter Olivia and Attendants.

ORSINO
line 2299Here comes the Countess. Now heaven walks on
line 2300Earth!—
line 2301But for thee, fellow: fellow, thy words are madness.
line 2302Three months this youth hath tended upon me—
100line 2303But more of that anon. To an Officer. Take him
line 2304aside.
OLIVIA
line 2305What would my lord, but that he may not have,
line 2306Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?—
line 2307Cesario, you do not keep promise with me.
105line 2308VIOLAMadam?
line 2309ORSINOGracious Olivia—
OLIVIA
line 2310What do you say, Cesario?—Good my lord—
VIOLA
line 2311My lord would speak; my duty hushes me.
OLIVIA
line 2312If it be aught to the old tune, my lord,
110line 2313It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear
line 2314As howling after music.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 169 ORSINO
line 2315Still so cruel?
line 2316OLIVIAStill so constant, lord.
ORSINO
line 2317What, to perverseness? You, uncivil lady,
115line 2318To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars
line 2319My soul the faithful’st off’rings have breathed out
line 2320That e’er devotion tendered—what shall I do?
OLIVIA
line 2321Even what it please my lord that shall become him.
ORSINO
line 2322Why should I not, had I the heart to do it,
120line 2323Like to th’ Egyptian thief at point of death,
line 2324Kill what I love?—a savage jealousy
line 2325That sometime savors nobly. But hear me this:
line 2326Since you to nonregardance cast my faith,
line 2327And that I partly know the instrument
125line 2328That screws me from my true place in your favor,
line 2329Live you the marble-breasted tyrant still.
line 2330But this your minion, whom I know you love,
line 2331And whom, by heaven I swear, I tender dearly,
line 2332Him will I tear out of that cruel eye
130line 2333Where he sits crownèd in his master’s spite.—
line 2334Come, boy, with me. My thoughts are ripe in
line 2335mischief.
line 2336I’ll sacrifice the lamb that I do love
line 2337To spite a raven’s heart within a dove.
VIOLA
135line 2338And I, most jocund, apt, and willingly,
line 2339To do you rest a thousand deaths would die.
OLIVIA
line 2340Where goes Cesario?
line 2341VIOLAAfter him I love
line 2342More than I love these eyes, more than my life,
140line 2343More by all mores than e’er I shall love wife.
line 2344If I do feign, you witnesses above,
line 2345Punish my life for tainting of my love.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 171 OLIVIA
line 2346Ay me, detested! How am I beguiled!
VIOLA
line 2347Who does beguile you? Who does do you wrong?
OLIVIA
145line 2348Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long?—
line 2349Call forth the holy father.An Attendant exits.
line 2350ORSINOto Viola Come, away!
OLIVIA
line 2351Whither, my lord?—Cesario, husband, stay.
ORSINO
line 2352Husband?
150line 2353OLIVIAAy, husband. Can he that deny?
ORSINO
line 2354Her husband, sirrah?
line 2355VIOLANo, my lord, not I.
OLIVIA
line 2356Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear
line 2357That makes thee strangle thy propriety.
155line 2358Fear not, Cesario. Take thy fortunes up.
line 2359Be that thou know’st thou art, and then thou art
line 2360As great as that thou fear’st.

Enter Priest.

line 2361O, welcome, father.
line 2362Father, I charge thee by thy reverence
160line 2363Here to unfold (though lately we intended
line 2364To keep in darkness what occasion now
line 2365Reveals before ’tis ripe) what thou dost know
line 2366Hath newly passed between this youth and me.
PRIEST
line 2367A contract of eternal bond of love,
165line 2368Confirmed by mutual joinder of your hands,
line 2369Attested by the holy close of lips,
line 2370Strengthened by interchangement of your rings,
line 2371And all the ceremony of this compact
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 173 line 2372Sealed in my function, by my testimony;
170line 2373Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my
line 2374grave
line 2375I have traveled but two hours.
ORSINOto Viola
line 2376O thou dissembling cub! What wilt thou be
line 2377When time hath sowed a grizzle on thy case?
175line 2378Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow
line 2379That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow?
line 2380Farewell, and take her, but direct thy feet
line 2381Where thou and I henceforth may never meet.
VIOLA
line 2382My lord, I do protest—
180line 2383OLIVIAO, do not swear.
line 2384Hold little faith, though thou hast too much fear.

Enter Sir Andrew.

line 2385ANDREWFor the love of God, a surgeon! Send one
line 2386presently to Sir Toby.
line 2387OLIVIAWhat’s the matter?
185line 2388ANDREWHas broke my head across, and has given Sir
line 2389Toby a bloody coxcomb too. For the love of God,
line 2390your help! I had rather than forty pound I were at
line 2391home.
line 2392OLIVIAWho has done this, Sir Andrew?
190line 2393ANDREWThe Count’s gentleman, one Cesario. We took
line 2394him for a coward, but he’s the very devil
line 2395incardinate.
line 2396ORSINOMy gentleman Cesario?
line 2397ANDREW’Od’s lifelings, here he is!—You broke my
195line 2398head for nothing, and that that I did, I was set on to
line 2399do ’t by Sir Toby.
VIOLA
line 2400Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you.
line 2401You drew your sword upon me without cause,
line 2402But I bespake you fair and hurt you not.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 175 200line 2403ANDREWIf a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt
line 2404me. I think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb.

Enter Toby and Feste, the Fool.

line 2405Here comes Sir Toby halting. You shall hear
line 2406more. But if he had not been in drink, he would
line 2407have tickled you othergates than he did.
205line 2408ORSINOHow now, gentleman? How is ’t with you?
line 2409TOBYThat’s all one. Has hurt me, and there’s th’ end
line 2410on ’t. To Fool. Sot, didst see Dick Surgeon, sot?
line 2411FOOLO, he’s drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes
line 2412were set at eight i’ th’ morning.
210line 2413TOBYThen he’s a rogue and a passy-measures pavin. I
line 2414hate a drunken rogue.
line 2415OLIVIAAway with him! Who hath made this havoc
line 2416with them?
line 2417ANDREWI’ll help you, Sir Toby, because we’ll be
215line 2418dressed together.
line 2419TOBYWill you help?—an ass-head, and a coxcomb,
line 2420and a knave, a thin-faced knave, a gull?
OLIVIA
line 2421Get him to bed, and let his hurt be looked to.

Toby, Andrew, Fool, and Fabian exit.

Enter Sebastian.

SEBASTIAN
line 2422I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman,
220line 2423But, had it been the brother of my blood,
line 2424I must have done no less with wit and safety.
line 2425You throw a strange regard upon me, and by that
line 2426I do perceive it hath offended you.
line 2427Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows
225line 2428We made each other but so late ago.
ORSINO
line 2429One face, one voice, one habit, and two persons!
line 2430A natural perspective, that is and is not!
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 177 SEBASTIAN
line 2431Antonio, O, my dear Antonio!
line 2432How have the hours racked and tortured me
230line 2433Since I have lost thee!
ANTONIO
line 2434Sebastian are you?
line 2435SEBASTIANFear’st thou that, Antonio?
ANTONIO
line 2436How have you made division of yourself?
line 2437An apple cleft in two is not more twin
235line 2438Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian?
line 2439OLIVIAMost wonderful!
SEBASTIANlooking at Viola
line 2440Do I stand there? I never had a brother,
line 2441Nor can there be that deity in my nature
line 2442Of here and everywhere. I had a sister
240line 2443Whom the blind waves and surges have devoured.
line 2444Of charity, what kin are you to me?
line 2445What countryman? What name? What parentage?
VIOLA
line 2446Of Messaline. Sebastian was my father.
line 2447Such a Sebastian was my brother too.
245line 2448So went he suited to his watery tomb.
line 2449If spirits can assume both form and suit,
line 2450You come to fright us.
line 2451SEBASTIANA spirit I am indeed,
line 2452But am in that dimension grossly clad
250line 2453Which from the womb I did participate.
line 2454Were you a woman, as the rest goes even,
line 2455I should my tears let fall upon your cheek
line 2456And say “Thrice welcome, drownèd Viola.”
VIOLA
line 2457My father had a mole upon his brow.
255line 2458SEBASTIANAnd so had mine.
VIOLA
line 2459And died that day when Viola from her birth
line 2460Had numbered thirteen years.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 179 SEBASTIAN
line 2461O, that record is lively in my soul!
line 2462He finishèd indeed his mortal act
260line 2463That day that made my sister thirteen years.
VIOLA
line 2464If nothing lets to make us happy both
line 2465But this my masculine usurped attire,
line 2466Do not embrace me till each circumstance
line 2467Of place, time, fortune, do cohere and jump
265line 2468That I am Viola; which to confirm,
line 2469I’ll bring you to a captain in this town,
line 2470Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help
line 2471I was preserved to serve this noble count.
line 2472All the occurrence of my fortune since
270line 2473Hath been between this lady and this lord.
SEBASTIANto Olivia
line 2474So comes it, lady, you have been mistook.
line 2475But nature to her bias drew in that.
line 2476You would have been contracted to a maid.
line 2477Nor are you therein, by my life, deceived:
275line 2478You are betrothed both to a maid and man.
ORSINOto Olivia
line 2479Be not amazed; right noble is his blood.
line 2480If this be so, as yet the glass seems true,
line 2481I shall have share in this most happy wrack.—
line 2482Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times
280line 2483Thou never shouldst love woman like to me.
VIOLA
line 2484And all those sayings will I overswear,
line 2485And all those swearings keep as true in soul
line 2486As doth that orbèd continent the fire
line 2487That severs day from night.
285line 2488ORSINOGive me thy hand,
line 2489And let me see thee in thy woman’s weeds.
VIOLA
line 2490The Captain that did bring me first on shore
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 181 line 2491Hath my maid’s garments. He, upon some action,
line 2492Is now in durance at Malvolio’s suit,
290line 2493A gentleman and follower of my lady’s.
OLIVIA
line 2494He shall enlarge him.

Enter Feste, the Fool with a letter, and Fabian.

line 2495Fetch Malvolio hither.
line 2496And yet, alas, now I remember me,
line 2497They say, poor gentleman, he’s much distract.
295line 2498A most extracting frenzy of mine own
line 2499From my remembrance clearly banished his.
line 2500To the Fool. How does he, sirrah?
line 2501FOOLTruly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the stave’s
line 2502end as well as a man in his case may do. Has here
300line 2503writ a letter to you. I should have given ’t you today
line 2504morning. But as a madman’s epistles are no gospels,
line 2505so it skills not much when they are delivered.
line 2506OLIVIAOpen ’t and read it.
line 2507FOOLLook then to be well edified, when the Fool
305line 2508delivers the madman. He reads. By the Lord,
line 2509madam—
line 2510OLIVIAHow now, art thou mad?
line 2511FOOLNo, madam, I do but read madness. An your
line 2512Ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must
310line 2513allow vox.
line 2514OLIVIAPrithee, read i’ thy right wits.
line 2515FOOLSo I do, madonna. But to read his right wits is to
line 2516read thus. Therefore, perpend, my princess, and
line 2517give ear.
315line 2518OLIVIAgiving letter to Fabian Read it you, sirrah.
line 2519FABIANreads By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and
line 2520the world shall know it. Though you have put me into
line 2521darkness and given your drunken cousin rule over
line 2522me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your
320line 2523Ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 183 line 2524the semblance I put on, with the which I doubt not but
line 2525to do myself much right or you much shame. Think of
line 2526me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of
line 2527and speak out of my injury.
325line 2528The madly used Malvolio.
line 2529OLIVIADid he write this?
line 2530FOOLAy, madam.
ORSINO
line 2531This savors not much of distraction.
OLIVIA
line 2532See him delivered, Fabian. Bring him hither.

Fabian exits.

330line 2533To Orsino. My lord, so please you, these things
line 2534further thought on,
line 2535To think me as well a sister as a wife,
line 2536One day shall crown th’ alliance on ’t, so please
line 2537you,
335line 2538Here at my house, and at my proper cost.
ORSINO
line 2539Madam, I am most apt t’ embrace your offer.
line 2540To Viola. Your master quits you; and for your
line 2541service done him,
line 2542So much against the mettle of your sex,
340line 2543So far beneath your soft and tender breeding,
line 2544And since you called me “master” for so long,
line 2545Here is my hand. You shall from this time be
line 2546Your master’s mistress.
line 2547OLIVIAto Viola A sister! You are she.

Enter Malvolio and Fabian.

ORSINO
345line 2548Is this the madman?
line 2549OLIVIAAy, my lord, this same.—
line 2550How now, Malvolio?
line 2551MALVOLIOMadam, you have done me
line 2552wrong,
350line 2553Notorious wrong.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 185 line 2554OLIVIAHave I, Malvolio? No.
MALVOLIOhanding her a paper
line 2555Lady, you have. Pray you peruse that letter.
line 2556You must not now deny it is your hand.
line 2557Write from it if you can, in hand or phrase,
355line 2558Or say ’tis not your seal, not your invention.
line 2559You can say none of this. Well, grant it then,
line 2560And tell me, in the modesty of honor,
line 2561Why you have given me such clear lights of favor?
line 2562Bade me come smiling and cross-gartered to you,
360line 2563To put on yellow stockings, and to frown
line 2564Upon Sir Toby and the lighter people?
line 2565And, acting this in an obedient hope,
line 2566Why have you suffered me to be imprisoned,
line 2567Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest,
365line 2568And made the most notorious geck and gull
line 2569That e’er invention played on? Tell me why.
OLIVIA
line 2570Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
line 2571Though I confess much like the character.
line 2572But out of question, ’tis Maria’s hand.
370line 2573And now I do bethink me, it was she
line 2574First told me thou wast mad; then cam’st in smiling,
line 2575And in such forms which here were presupposed
line 2576Upon thee in the letter. Prithee, be content.
line 2577This practice hath most shrewdly passed upon thee.
375line 2578But when we know the grounds and authors of it,
line 2579Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge
line 2580Of thine own cause.
line 2581FABIANGood madam, hear me speak,
line 2582And let no quarrel nor no brawl to come
380line 2583Taint the condition of this present hour,
line 2584Which I have wondered at. In hope it shall not,
line 2585Most freely I confess, myself and Toby
line 2586Set this device against Malvolio here,
line 2587Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts
385line 2588We had conceived against him. Maria writ
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 187 line 2589The letter at Sir Toby’s great importance,
line 2590In recompense whereof he hath married her.
line 2591How with a sportful malice it was followed
line 2592May rather pluck on laughter than revenge,
390line 2593If that the injuries be justly weighed
line 2594That have on both sides passed.
OLIVIAto Malvolio
line 2595Alas, poor fool, how have they baffled thee!
line 2596FOOLWhy, “some are born great, some achieve greatness,
line 2597and some have greatness thrown upon them.”
395line 2598I was one, sir, in this interlude, one Sir Topas, sir,
line 2599but that’s all one. “By the Lord, Fool, I am not
line 2600mad”—but, do you remember “Madam, why laugh
line 2601you at such a barren rascal; an you smile not, he’s
line 2602gagged”? And thus the whirligig of time brings in
400line 2603his revenges.
MALVOLIO
line 2604I’ll be revenged on the whole pack of you!He exits.
OLIVIA
line 2605He hath been most notoriously abused.
ORSINO
line 2606Pursue him and entreat him to a peace.Some exit.
line 2607He hath not told us of the Captain yet.
405line 2608When that is known, and golden time convents,
line 2609A solemn combination shall be made
line 2610Of our dear souls.—Meantime, sweet sister,
line 2611We will not part from hence.—Cesario, come,
line 2612For so you shall be while you are a man.
410line 2613But when in other habits you are seen,
line 2614Orsino’s mistress, and his fancy’s queen.

All but the Fool exit.

FOOLsings
line 2615When that I was and a little tiny boy,
line 2616With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
line 2617A foolish thing was but a toy,
415line 2618For the rain it raineth every day.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 189
line 2619But when I came to man’s estate,
line 2620With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
line 2621’Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate,
line 2622For the rain it raineth every day.

420line 2623But when I came, alas, to wive,
line 2624With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
line 2625By swaggering could I never thrive,
line 2626For the rain it raineth every day.

line 2627But when I came unto my beds,
425line 2628With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
line 2629With tosspots still had drunken heads,
line 2630For the rain it raineth every day.

line 2631A great while ago the world begun,
line 2632With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
430line 2633But that’s all one, our play is done,
line 2634And we’ll strive to please you every day.

He exits.


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