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The Comedy Of Errors

1592–1593

William Shakespeare's signature

William Shakespeare


This is the Bookwise complete ebook of The Comedy Of Errors by William Shakespeare, available to read online as an alternative to epub, mobi, kindle, pdf or text only versions. For information about the status of this work, see Copyright Notice.


Summary

Egeon, about to be executed for unlawfully entering Ephesus, tells the sad tale of his search for his twin sons and wife. The Duke agrees to spare him if his family is found. Meanwhile, his twin sons, both of whom are named Antipholus, and their servants, both of whom are named Dromio, are actually in Ephesus, each unaware that he even has a twin. After a series of hilarious events involving mistaken identity almost ending in catastrophe, the twins are reunited with their mother and father, and realise their relation to each other.

Source: Wikipedia

Dramatis Personæ

Dramatis Personæ

Egeon, a merchant from Syracuse

Solinus, Duke of Ephesus

Antipholus of Syracuse, a traveler in search of his mother and his brother

Dromio of Syracuse, Antipholus of Syracuse’s servant

First Merchant, a citizen of Ephesus

Antipholus of Ephesus, a citizen of Ephesus

Dromio of Ephesus, Antipholus of Ephesus’s servant

Adriana, Antipholus of Ephesus’s wife

Luciana, Adriana’s sister

Luce (also called Nell), kitchen maid betrothed to Dromio of Ephesus

Messenger, servant to Antipholus of Ephesus and Adriana

Angelo, an Ephesian goldsmith

Second Merchant, a citizen of Ephesus to whom Angelo owes money

Balthasar, an Ephesian merchant invited to dinner by Antipholus of Ephesus

Courtesan, hostess of Antipholus of Ephesus at dinner

Dr. Pinch, a schoolmaster, engaged as an exorcist

Officer (also called Jailer), an Ephesian law officer

Lady Abbess (also called Emilia), head of a priory in Ephesus

Attendants, Servants to Pinch, Headsman, Officers


ACT 1


Scene 1

Enter Solinus the Duke of Ephesus, with Egeon the Merchant of Syracuse, Jailer, and other Attendants.

EGEON
line 0001Proceed, Solinus, to procure my fall,
line 0002And by the doom of death end woes and all.
DUKE
line 0003Merchant of Syracusa, plead no more.
line 0004I am not partial to infringe our laws.
5line 0005The enmity and discord which of late
line 0006Sprung from the rancorous outrage of your duke
line 0007To merchants, our well-dealing countrymen,
line 0008Who, wanting guilders to redeem their lives,
line 0009Have sealed his rigorous statutes with their bloods,
10line 0010Excludes all pity from our threat’ning looks.
line 0011For since the mortal and intestine jars
line 0012’Twixt thy seditious countrymen and us,
line 0013It hath in solemn synods been decreed,
line 0014Both by the Syracusians and ourselves,
15line 0015To admit no traffic to our adverse towns.
line 0016Nay, more, if any born at Ephesus
line 0017Be seen at Syracusian marts and fairs;
line 0018Again, if any Syracusian born
line 0019Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies,
20line 0020His goods confiscate to the Duke’s dispose,
Act 1 Scene 1 - Pg 9 line 0021Unless a thousand marks be levièd
line 0022To quit the penalty and to ransom him.
line 0023Thy substance, valued at the highest rate,
line 0024Cannot amount unto a hundred marks;
25line 0025Therefore by law thou art condemned to die.
EGEON
line 0026Yet this my comfort: when your words are done,
line 0027My woes end likewise with the evening sun.
DUKE
line 0028Well, Syracusian, say in brief the cause
line 0029Why thou departedst from thy native home
30line 0030And for what cause thou cam’st to Ephesus.
EGEON
line 0031A heavier task could not have been imposed
line 0032Than I to speak my griefs unspeakable;
line 0033Yet, that the world may witness that my end
line 0034Was wrought by nature, not by vile offense,
35line 0035I’ll utter what my sorrow gives me leave.
line 0036In Syracusa was I born, and wed
line 0037Unto a woman happy but for me,
line 0038And by me, had not our hap been bad.
line 0039With her I lived in joy. Our wealth increased
40line 0040By prosperous voyages I often made
line 0041To Epidamium, till my factor’s death
line 0042And the great care of goods at random left
line 0043Drew me from kind embracements of my spouse;
line 0044From whom my absence was not six months old
45line 0045Before herself—almost at fainting under
line 0046The pleasing punishment that women bear—
line 0047Had made provision for her following me
line 0048And soon and safe arrivèd where I was.
line 0049There had she not been long but she became
50line 0050A joyful mother of two goodly sons,
line 0051And, which was strange, the one so like the other
line 0052As could not be distinguished but by names.
Act 1 Scene 1 - Pg 11 line 0053That very hour, and in the selfsame inn,
line 0054A mean woman was deliverèd
55line 0055Of such a burden, male twins, both alike.
line 0056Those, for their parents were exceeding poor,
line 0057I bought and brought up to attend my sons.
line 0058My wife, not meanly proud of two such boys,
line 0059Made daily motions for our home return.
60line 0060Unwilling, I agreed. Alas, too soon
line 0061We came aboard.
line 0062A league from Epidamium had we sailed
line 0063Before the always-wind-obeying deep
line 0064Gave any tragic instance of our harm;
65line 0065But longer did we not retain much hope,
line 0066For what obscurèd light the heavens did grant
line 0067Did but convey unto our fearful minds
line 0068A doubtful warrant of immediate death,
line 0069Which though myself would gladly have embraced,
70line 0070Yet the incessant weepings of my wife,
line 0071Weeping before for what she saw must come,
line 0072And piteous plainings of the pretty babes,
line 0073That mourned for fashion, ignorant what to fear,
line 0074Forced me to seek delays for them and me.
75line 0075And this it was, for other means was none:
line 0076The sailors sought for safety by our boat
line 0077And left the ship, then sinking-ripe, to us.
line 0078My wife, more careful for the latter-born,
line 0079Had fastened him unto a small spare mast,
80line 0080Such as seafaring men provide for storms.
line 0081To him one of the other twins was bound,
line 0082Whilst I had been like heedful of the other.
line 0083The children thus disposed, my wife and I,
line 0084Fixing our eyes on whom our care was fixed,
85line 0085Fastened ourselves at either end the mast
line 0086And, floating straight, obedient to the stream,
line 0087Was carried towards Corinth, as we thought.
Act 1 Scene 1 - Pg 13 line 0088At length the sun, gazing upon the earth,
line 0089Dispersed those vapors that offended us,
90line 0090And by the benefit of his wished light
line 0091The seas waxed calm, and we discoverèd
line 0092Two ships from far, making amain to us,
line 0093Of Corinth that, of Epidaurus this.
line 0094But ere they came—O, let me say no more!
95line 0095Gather the sequel by that went before.
DUKE
line 0096Nay, forward, old man. Do not break off so,
line 0097For we may pity though not pardon thee.
EGEON
line 0098O, had the gods done so, I had not now
line 0099Worthily termed them merciless to us.
100line 0100For, ere the ships could meet by twice five leagues,
line 0101We were encountered by a mighty rock,
line 0102Which being violently borne upon,
line 0103Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst;
line 0104So that, in this unjust divorce of us,
105line 0105Fortune had left to both of us alike
line 0106What to delight in, what to sorrow for.
line 0107Her part, poor soul, seeming as burdenèd
line 0108With lesser weight, but not with lesser woe,
line 0109Was carried with more speed before the wind,
110line 0110And in our sight they three were taken up
line 0111By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought.
line 0112At length, another ship had seized on us
line 0113And, knowing whom it was their hap to save,
line 0114Gave healthful welcome to their shipwracked guests,
115line 0115And would have reft the fishers of their prey
line 0116Had not their bark been very slow of sail;
line 0117And therefore homeward did they bend their course.
line 0118Thus have you heard me severed from my bliss,
line 0119That by misfortunes was my life prolonged
120line 0120To tell sad stories of my own mishaps.
Act 1 Scene 1 - Pg 15 DUKE
line 0121And for the sake of them thou sorrowest for,
line 0122Do me the favor to dilate at full
line 0123What have befall’n of them and thee till now.
EGEON
line 0124My youngest boy, and yet my eldest care,
125line 0125At eighteen years became inquisitive
line 0126After his brother, and importuned me
line 0127That his attendant—so his case was like,
line 0128Reft of his brother, but retained his name—
line 0129Might bear him company in the quest of him,
130line 0130Whom whilst I labored of a love to see,
line 0131I hazarded the loss of whom I loved.
line 0132Five summers have I spent in farthest Greece,
line 0133Roaming clean through the bounds of Asia,
line 0134And, coasting homeward, came to Ephesus,
135line 0135Hopeless to find, yet loath to leave unsought
line 0136Or that or any place that harbors men.
line 0137But here must end the story of my life;
line 0138And happy were I in my timely death
line 0139Could all my travels warrant me they live.
DUKE
140line 0140Hapless Egeon, whom the fates have marked
line 0141To bear the extremity of dire mishap,
line 0142Now, trust me, were it not against our laws,
line 0143Against my crown, my oath, my dignity,
line 0144Which princes, would they, may not disannul,
145line 0145My soul should sue as advocate for thee.
line 0146But though thou art adjudgèd to the death,
line 0147And passèd sentence may not be recalled
line 0148But to our honor’s great disparagement,
line 0149Yet will I favor thee in what I can.
150line 0150Therefore, merchant, I’ll limit thee this day
line 0151To seek thy life by beneficial help.
line 0152Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus;
line 0153Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum,
Act 1 Scene 2 - Pg 17 line 0154And live. If no, then thou art doomed to die.—
155line 0155Jailer, take him to thy custody.
line 0156JAILERI will, my lord.
EGEON
line 0157Hopeless and helpless doth Egeon wend,
line 0158But to procrastinate his lifeless end.

They exit.


Scene 2

Enter Antipholus of Syracuse, First Merchant, and Dromio of Syracuse.

FIRST MERCHANT
line 0159Therefore give out you are of Epidamium,
line 0160Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.
line 0161This very day a Syracusian merchant
line 0162Is apprehended for arrival here
5line 0163And, not being able to buy out his life,
line 0164According to the statute of the town
line 0165Dies ere the weary sun set in the west.
line 0166There is your money that I had to keep.

He gives money.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEhanding money to Dromio
line 0167Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
10line 0168And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
line 0169Within this hour it will be dinnertime.
line 0170Till that, I’ll view the manners of the town,
line 0171Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
line 0172And then return and sleep within mine inn,
15line 0173For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
line 0174Get thee away.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0175Many a man would take you at your word
line 0176And go indeed, having so good a mean.

Dromio of Syracuse exits.

Act 1 Scene 2 - Pg 19 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0177A trusty villain, sir, that very oft,
20line 0178When I am dull with care and melancholy,
line 0179Lightens my humor with his merry jests.
line 0180What, will you walk with me about the town
line 0181And then go to my inn and dine with me?
FIRST MERCHANT
line 0182I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,
25line 0183Of whom I hope to make much benefit.
line 0184I crave your pardon. Soon at five o’clock,
line 0185Please you, I’ll meet with you upon the mart
line 0186And afterward consort you till bedtime.
line 0187My present business calls me from you now.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
30line 0188Farewell till then. I will go lose myself
line 0189And wander up and down to view the city.
FIRST MERCHANT
line 0190Sir, I commend you to your own content.He exits.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0191He that commends me to mine own content
line 0192Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
35line 0193I to the world am like a drop of water
line 0194That in the ocean seeks another drop,
line 0195Who, falling there to find his fellow forth,
line 0196Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself.
line 0197So I, to find a mother and a brother,
40line 0198In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.

Enter Dromio of Ephesus.

line 0199Here comes the almanac of my true date.—
line 0200What now? How chance thou art returned so soon?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0201Returned so soon? Rather approached too late!
line 0202The capon burns; the pig falls from the spit;
45line 0203The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell;
line 0204My mistress made it one upon my cheek.
Act 1 Scene 2 - Pg 21 line 0205She is so hot because the meat is cold;
line 0206The meat is cold because you come not home;
line 0207You come not home because you have no stomach;
50line 0208You have no stomach, having broke your fast.
line 0209But we that know what ’tis to fast and pray
line 0210Are penitent for your default today.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0211Stop in your wind, sir. Tell me this, I pray:
line 0212Where have you left the money that I gave you?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
55line 0213O, sixpence that I had o’ Wednesday last
line 0214To pay the saddler for my mistress’ crupper?
line 0215The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0216I am not in a sportive humor now.
line 0217Tell me, and dally not: where is the money?
60line 0218We being strangers here, how dar’st thou trust
line 0219So great a charge from thine own custody?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0220I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner.
line 0221I from my mistress come to you in post;
line 0222If I return, I shall be post indeed,
65line 0223For she will scour your fault upon my pate.
line 0224Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your
line 0225clock,
line 0226And strike you home without a messenger.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0227Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season.
70line 0228Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.
line 0229Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0230To me, sir? Why, you gave no gold to me!
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0231Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
line 0232And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge.
Act 1 Scene 2 - Pg 23 DROMIO OF EPHESUS
75line 0233My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
line 0234Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner.
line 0235My mistress and her sister stays for you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0236Now, as I am a Christian, answer me
line 0237In what safe place you have bestowed my money,
80line 0238Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours
line 0239That stands on tricks when I am undisposed.
line 0240Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0241I have some marks of yours upon my pate,
line 0242Some of my mistress’ marks upon my shoulders,
85line 0243But not a thousand marks between you both.
line 0244If I should pay your Worship those again,
line 0245Perchance you will not bear them patiently.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0246Thy mistress’ marks? What mistress, slave, hast
line 0247thou?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
90line 0248Your Worship’s wife, my mistress at the Phoenix,
line 0249She that doth fast till you come home to dinner
line 0250And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEbeating Dromio
line 0251What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face,
line 0252Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
95line 0253What mean you, sir? For God’s sake, hold your
line 0254hands.
line 0255Nay, an you will not, sir, I’ll take my heels.

Dromio of Ephesus exits.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0256Upon my life, by some device or other
line 0257The villain is o’erraught of all my money.
100line 0258They say this town is full of cozenage,
line 0259As nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
Act 1 Scene 2 - Pg 25 line 0260Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,
line 0261Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
line 0262Disguisèd cheaters, prating mountebanks,
105line 0263And many suchlike liberties of sin.
line 0264If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
line 0265I’ll to the Centaur to go seek this slave.
line 0266I greatly fear my money is not safe.

He exits.


ACT 2


Scene 1

Enter Adriana, wife to Antipholus of Ephesus, with Luciana, her sister.

ADRIANA
line 0267Neither my husband nor the slave returned
line 0268That in such haste I sent to seek his master?
line 0269Sure, Luciana, it is two o’clock.
LUCIANA
line 0270Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,
5line 0271And from the mart he’s somewhere gone to dinner.
line 0272Good sister, let us dine, and never fret.
line 0273A man is master of his liberty;
line 0274Time is their master, and when they see time
line 0275They’ll go or come. If so, be patient, sister.
ADRIANA
10line 0276Why should their liberty than ours be more?
LUCIANA
line 0277Because their business still lies out o’ door.
ADRIANA
line 0278Look when I serve him so, he takes it ill.
LUCIANA
line 0279O, know he is the bridle of your will.
ADRIANA
line 0280There’s none but asses will be bridled so.
LUCIANA
15line 0281Why, headstrong liberty is lashed with woe.
Act 2 Scene 1 - Pg 31 line 0282There’s nothing situate under heaven’s eye
line 0283But hath his bound in earth, in sea, in sky.
line 0284The beasts, the fishes, and the wingèd fowls
line 0285Are their males’ subjects and at their controls.
20line 0286Man, more divine, the master of all these,
line 0287Lord of the wide world and wild wat’ry seas,
line 0288Endued with intellectual sense and souls,
line 0289Of more preeminence than fish and fowls,
line 0290Are masters to their females, and their lords.
25line 0291Then let your will attend on their accords.
ADRIANA
line 0292This servitude makes you to keep unwed.
LUCIANA
line 0293Not this, but troubles of the marriage bed.
ADRIANA
line 0294But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.
LUCIANA
line 0295Ere I learn love, I’ll practice to obey.
ADRIANA
30line 0296How if your husband start some otherwhere?
LUCIANA
line 0297Till he come home again, I would forbear.
ADRIANA
line 0298Patience unmoved! No marvel though she pause;
line 0299They can be meek that have no other cause.
line 0300A wretched soul bruised with adversity
35line 0301We bid be quiet when we hear it cry,
line 0302But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
line 0303As much or more we should ourselves complain.
line 0304So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,
line 0305With urging helpless patience would relieve me;
40line 0306But if thou live to see like right bereft,
line 0307This fool-begged patience in thee will be left.
LUCIANA
line 0308Well, I will marry one day, but to try.
line 0309Here comes your man. Now is your husband nigh.
Act 2 Scene 1 - Pg 33

Enter Dromio of Ephesus.

ADRIANA
line 0310Say, is your tardy master now at hand?
45line 0311DROMIO OF EPHESUSNay, he’s at two hands with me,
line 0312and that my two ears can witness.
ADRIANA
line 0313Say, didst thou speak with him? Know’st thou his
line 0314mind?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0315Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear.
50line 0316Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it.
line 0317LUCIANASpake he so doubtfully thou couldst not feel
line 0318his meaning?
line 0319DROMIO OF EPHESUSNay, he struck so plainly I could
line 0320too well feel his blows, and withal so doubtfully
55line 0321that I could scarce understand them.
ADRIANA
line 0322But say, I prithee, is he coming home?
line 0323It seems he hath great care to please his wife.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0324Why, mistress, sure my master is horn mad.
ADRIANA
line 0325Horn mad, thou villain?
60line 0326DROMIO OF EPHESUSI mean not cuckold mad,
line 0327But sure he is stark mad.
line 0328When I desired him to come home to dinner,
line 0329He asked me for a thousand marks in gold.
line 0330“’Tis dinnertime,” quoth I. “My gold,” quoth he.
65line 0331“Your meat doth burn,” quoth I. “My gold,” quoth
line 0332he.
line 0333“Will you come?” quoth I. “My gold,” quoth he.
line 0334“Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?”
line 0335“The pig,” quoth I, “is burned.” “My gold,” quoth
70line 0336he.
Act 2 Scene 1 - Pg 35 line 0337“My mistress, sir,” quoth I. “Hang up thy mistress!
line 0338I know not thy mistress. Out on thy mistress!”
line 0339LUCIANAQuoth who?
line 0340DROMIO OF EPHESUSQuoth my master.
75line 0341“I know,” quoth he, “no house, no wife, no
line 0342mistress.”
line 0343So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
line 0344I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders,
line 0345For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.
ADRIANA
80line 0346Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0347Go back again and be new beaten home?
line 0348For God’s sake, send some other messenger.
ADRIANA
line 0349Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0350And he will bless that cross with other beating.
85line 0351Between you, I shall have a holy head.
ADRIANA
line 0352Hence, prating peasant. Fetch thy master home.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0353Am I so round with you as you with me,
line 0354That like a football you do spurn me thus?
line 0355You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither.
90line 0356If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.

He exits.

LUCIANA
line 0357Fie, how impatience loureth in your face.
ADRIANA
line 0358His company must do his minions grace,
line 0359Whilst I at home starve for a merry look.
line 0360Hath homely age th’ alluring beauty took
95line 0361From my poor cheek? Then he hath wasted it.
line 0362Are my discourses dull? Barren my wit?
line 0363If voluble and sharp discourse be marred,
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 37 line 0364Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard.
line 0365Do their gay vestments his affections bait?
100line 0366That’s not my fault; he’s master of my state.
line 0367What ruins are in me that can be found
line 0368By him not ruined? Then is he the ground
line 0369Of my defeatures. My decayèd fair
line 0370A sunny look of his would soon repair.
105line 0371But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale
line 0372And feeds from home. Poor I am but his stale.
LUCIANA
line 0373Self-harming jealousy, fie, beat it hence.
ADRIANA
line 0374Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense.
line 0375I know his eye doth homage otherwhere,
110line 0376Or else what lets it but he would be here?
line 0377Sister, you know he promised me a chain.
line 0378Would that alone o’ love he would detain,
line 0379So he would keep fair quarter with his bed.
line 0380I see the jewel best enamelèd
115line 0381Will lose his beauty. Yet the gold bides still
line 0382That others touch, and often touching will
line 0383Wear gold; yet no man that hath a name
line 0384By falsehood and corruption doth it shame.
line 0385Since that my beauty cannot please his eye,
120line 0386I’ll weep what’s left away, and weeping die.
LUCIANA
line 0387How many fond fools serve mad jealousy!

They exit.


Scene 2

Enter Antipholus of Syracuse.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0388The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up
line 0389Safe at the Centaur, and the heedful slave
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 39 line 0390Is wandered forth in care to seek me out.
line 0391By computation and mine host’s report,
5line 0392I could not speak with Dromio since at first
line 0393I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.

Enter Dromio of Syracuse.

line 0394How now, sir? Is your merry humor altered?
line 0395As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
line 0396You know no Centaur? You received no gold?
10line 0397Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?
line 0398My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
line 0399That thus so madly thou didst answer me?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0400What answer, sir? When spake I such a word?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0401Even now, even here, not half an hour since.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
15line 0402I did not see you since you sent me hence,
line 0403Home to the Centaur with the gold you gave me.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0404Villain, thou didst deny the gold’s receipt
line 0405And told’st me of a mistress and a dinner,
line 0406For which I hope thou felt’st I was displeased.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
20line 0407I am glad to see you in this merry vein.
line 0408What means this jest, I pray you, master, tell me?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0409Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth?
line 0410Think’st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that and that.

Beats Dromio.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0411Hold, sir, for God’s sake! Now your jest is earnest.
25line 0412Upon what bargain do you give it me?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0413Because that I familiarly sometimes
line 0414Do use you for my fool and chat with you,
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 41 line 0415Your sauciness will jest upon my love
line 0416And make a common of my serious hours.
30line 0417When the sun shines, let foolish gnats make sport,
line 0418But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.
line 0419If you will jest with me, know my aspect,
line 0420And fashion your demeanor to my looks,
line 0421Or I will beat this method in your sconce.
35line 0422DROMIO OF SYRACUSE“Sconce” call you it? So you
line 0423would leave battering, I had rather have it a
line 0424“head.” An you use these blows long, I must get a
line 0425sconce for my head and ensconce it too, or else I
line 0426shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But I pray, sir,
40line 0427why am I beaten?
line 0428ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEDost thou not know?
line 0429DROMIO OF SYRACUSENothing, sir, but that I am
line 0430beaten.
line 0431ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEShall I tell you why?
45line 0432DROMIO OF SYRACUSEAy, sir, and wherefore, for they
line 0433say every why hath a wherefore.
line 0434ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE“Why” first: for flouting
line 0435me; and then “wherefore”: for urging it the second
line 0436time to me.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
50line 0437Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season,
line 0438When in the “why” and the “wherefore” is neither
line 0439rhyme nor reason?
line 0440Well, sir, I thank you.
line 0441ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEThank me, sir, for what?
55line 0442DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMarry, sir, for this something
line 0443that you gave me for nothing.
line 0444ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEI’ll make you amends next,
line 0445to give you nothing for something. But say, sir, is it
line 0446dinnertime?
60line 0447DROMIO OF SYRACUSENo, sir, I think the meat wants
line 0448that I have.
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 43 line 0449ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEIn good time, sir, what’s
line 0450that?
line 0451DROMIO OF SYRACUSEBasting.
65line 0452ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWell, sir, then ’twill be dry.
line 0453DROMIO OF SYRACUSEIf it be, sir, I pray you eat none of
line 0454it.
line 0455ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEYour reason?
line 0456DROMIO OF SYRACUSELest it make you choleric and
70line 0457purchase me another dry basting.
line 0458ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWell, sir, learn to jest in
line 0459good time. There’s a time for all things.
line 0460DROMIO OF SYRACUSEI durst have denied that before
line 0461you were so choleric.
75line 0462ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEBy what rule, sir?
line 0463DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMarry, sir, by a rule as plain as
line 0464the plain bald pate of Father Time himself.
line 0465ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSELet’s hear it.
line 0466DROMIO OF SYRACUSEThere’s no time for a man to
80line 0467recover his hair that grows bald by nature.
line 0468ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEMay he not do it by fine and
line 0469recovery?
line 0470DROMIO OF SYRACUSEYes, to pay a fine for a periwig,
line 0471and recover the lost hair of another man.
85line 0472ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhy is Time such a niggard
line 0473of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement?
line 0474DROMIO OF SYRACUSEBecause it is a blessing that he
line 0475bestows on beasts, and what he hath scanted men
line 0476in hair, he hath given them in wit.
90line 0477ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhy, but there’s many a
line 0478man hath more hair than wit.
line 0479DROMIO OF SYRACUSENot a man of those but he hath
line 0480the wit to lose his hair.
line 0481ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhy, thou didst conclude
95line 0482hairy men plain dealers without wit.
line 0483DROMIO OF SYRACUSEThe plainer dealer, the sooner
line 0484lost. Yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity.
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 45 line 0485ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEFor what reason?
line 0486DROMIO OF SYRACUSEFor two, and sound ones too.
100line 0487ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSENay, not sound, I pray you.
line 0488DROMIO OF SYRACUSESure ones, then.
line 0489ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSENay, not sure, in a thing
line 0490falsing.
line 0491DROMIO OF SYRACUSECertain ones, then.
105line 0492ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEName them.
line 0493DROMIO OF SYRACUSEThe one, to save the money that
line 0494he spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they
line 0495should not drop in his porridge.
line 0496ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEYou would all this time
110line 0497have proved there is no time for all things.
line 0498DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMarry, and did, sir: namely, e’en
line 0499no time to recover hair lost by nature.
line 0500ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEBut your reason was not
line 0501substantial why there is no time to recover.
115line 0502DROMIO OF SYRACUSEThus I mend it: Time himself is
line 0503bald and therefore, to the world’s end, will have
line 0504bald followers.
line 0505ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEI knew ’twould be a bald
line 0506conclusion. But soft, who wafts us yonder?

Enter Adriana, beckoning them, and Luciana.

ADRIANA
120line 0507Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown.
line 0508Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects.
line 0509I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.
line 0510The time was once when thou unurged wouldst vow
line 0511That never words were music to thine ear,
125line 0512That never object pleasing in thine eye,
line 0513That never touch well welcome to thy hand,
line 0514That never meat sweet-savored in thy taste,
line 0515Unless I spake, or looked, or touched, or carved to
line 0516thee.
130line 0517How comes it now, my husband, O, how comes it
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 47 line 0518That thou art then estrangèd from thyself?
line 0519“Thyself” I call it, being strange to me,
line 0520That, undividable, incorporate,
line 0521Am better than thy dear self’s better part.
135line 0522Ah, do not tear away thyself from me!
line 0523For know, my love, as easy mayst thou fall
line 0524A drop of water in the breaking gulf,
line 0525And take unmingled thence that drop again
line 0526Without addition or diminishing,
140line 0527As take from me thyself and not me too.
line 0528How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
line 0529Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious
line 0530And that this body, consecrate to thee,
line 0531By ruffian lust should be contaminate!
145line 0532Wouldst thou not spit at me, and spurn at me,
line 0533And hurl the name of husband in my face,
line 0534And tear the stained skin off my harlot brow,
line 0535And from my false hand cut the wedding ring,
line 0536And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?
150line 0537I know thou canst, and therefore see thou do it.
line 0538I am possessed with an adulterate blot;
line 0539My blood is mingled with the crime of lust;
line 0540For if we two be one, and thou play false,
line 0541I do digest the poison of thy flesh,
155line 0542Being strumpeted by thy contagion.
line 0543Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed,
line 0544I live distained, thou undishonorèd.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0545Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not.
line 0546In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
160line 0547As strange unto your town as to your talk,
line 0548Who, every word by all my wit being scanned,
line 0549Wants wit in all one word to understand.
LUCIANA
line 0550Fie, brother, how the world is changed with you!
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 49 line 0551When were you wont to use my sister thus?
165line 0552She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.
line 0553ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEBy Dromio?
line 0554DROMIO OF SYRACUSEBy me?
ADRIANA
line 0555By thee; and this thou didst return from him:
line 0556That he did buffet thee and, in his blows,
170line 0557Denied my house for his, me for his wife.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0558Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman?
line 0559What is the course and drift of your compact?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0560I, sir? I never saw her till this time.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0561Villain, thou liest, for even her very words
175line 0562Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0563I never spake with her in all my life.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0564How can she thus then call us by our names—
line 0565Unless it be by inspiration?
ADRIANA
line 0566How ill agrees it with your gravity
180line 0567To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave,
line 0568Abetting him to thwart me in my mood.
line 0569Be it my wrong you are from me exempt,
line 0570But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt.
line 0571Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine.

She takes his arm.

185line 0572Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine,
line 0573Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state,
line 0574Makes me with thy strength to communicate.
line 0575If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
line 0576Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss,
190line 0577Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion
line 0578Infect thy sap and live on thy confusion.
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 51 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEaside
line 0579To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme.
line 0580What, was I married to her in my dream?
line 0581Or sleep I now and think I hear all this?
195line 0582What error drives our eyes and ears amiss?
line 0583Until I know this sure uncertainty
line 0584I’ll entertain the offered fallacy.
LUCIANA
line 0585Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0586O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner.

He crosses himself.

200line 0587This is the fairy land. O spite of spites!
line 0588We talk with goblins, owls, and sprites.
line 0589If we obey them not, this will ensue:
line 0590They’ll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.
LUCIANA
line 0591Why prat’st thou to thyself and answer’st not?
205line 0592Dromio—thou, Dromio—thou snail, thou slug,
line 0593thou sot.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0594I am transformèd, master, am I not?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0595I think thou art in mind, and so am I.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0596Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
210line 0597Thou hast thine own form.
line 0598DROMIO OF SYRACUSENo, I am an ape.
LUCIANA
line 0599If thou art changed to aught, ’tis to an ass.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0600’Tis true. She rides me, and I long for grass.
line 0601’Tis so. I am an ass; else it could never be
215line 0602But I should know her as well as she knows me.
Act 2 Scene 2 - Pg 53 ADRIANA
line 0603Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
line 0604To put the finger in the eye and weep
line 0605Whilst man and master laughs my woes to scorn.
line 0606Come, sir, to dinner.—Dromio, keep the gate.—
220line 0607Husband, I’ll dine above with you today,
line 0608And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks.
line 0609To Dromio. Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
line 0610Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter.—
line 0611Come, sister.—Dromio, play the porter well.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEaside
225line 0612Am I in Earth, in heaven, or in hell?
line 0613Sleeping or waking, mad or well-advised?
line 0614Known unto these, and to myself disguised!
line 0615I’ll say as they say, and persever so,
line 0616And in this mist at all adventures go.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
230line 0617Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
ADRIANA
line 0618Ay, and let none enter, lest I break your pate.
LUCIANA
line 0619Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.

They exit.


ACT 3


Scene 1

Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, his man Dromio, Angelo the goldsmith, and Balthasar the merchant.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0620Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;
line 0621My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours.
line 0622Say that I lingered with you at your shop
line 0623To see the making of her carcanet,
5line 0624And that tomorrow you will bring it home.
line 0625But here’s a villain that would face me down
line 0626He met me on the mart, and that I beat him
line 0627And charged him with a thousand marks in gold,
line 0628And that I did deny my wife and house.—
10line 0629Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0630Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know.
line 0631That you beat me at the mart I have your hand to
line 0632show;
line 0633If the skin were parchment and the blows you gave
15line 0634were ink,
line 0635Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0636I think thou art an ass.
line 0637DROMIO OF EPHESUSMarry, so it doth appear
line 0638By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear.
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 59 20line 0639I should kick being kicked and, being at that pass,
line 0640You would keep from my heels and beware of an ass.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0641You’re sad, Signior Balthasar. Pray God our cheer
line 0642May answer my goodwill and your good welcome
line 0643here.
BALTHASAR
25line 0644I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome
line 0645dear.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0646O Signior Balthasar, either at flesh or fish
line 0647A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty
line 0648dish.
BALTHASAR
30line 0649Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0650And welcome more common, for that’s nothing but
line 0651words.
BALTHASAR
line 0652Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry
line 0653feast.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
35line 0654Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing guest.
line 0655But though my cates be mean, take them in good
line 0656part.
line 0657Better cheer may you have, but not with better
line 0658heart.He attempts to open the door.
40line 0659But soft! My door is locked. To Dromio. Go, bid
line 0660them let us in.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0661Maud, Bridget, Marian, Ciceley, Gillian, Ginn!
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
line 0662Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!
line 0663Either get thee from the door or sit down at the
45line 0664hatch.
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 61 line 0665Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call’st for
line 0666such store
line 0667When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the
line 0668door.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
50line 0669What patch is made our porter? My master stays in
line 0670the street.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
line 0671Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch
line 0672cold on ’s feet.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0673Who talks within there? Ho, open the door.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
55line 0674Right, sir, I’ll tell you when an you’ll tell me
line 0675wherefore.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0676Wherefore? For my dinner. I have not dined today.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
line 0677Nor today here you must not. Come again when you
line 0678may.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
60line 0679What art thou that keep’st me out from the house I
line 0680owe?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
line 0681The porter for this time, sir, and my name is
line 0682Dromio.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0683O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my
65line 0684name!
line 0685The one ne’er got me credit, the other mickle
line 0686blame.
line 0687If thou hadst been Dromio today in my place,
line 0688Thou wouldst have changed thy face for a name, or
70line 0689thy name for an ass.
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 63

Enter Luce above, unseen by Antipholus of Ephesus and his company.

LUCE
line 0690What a coil is there, Dromio! Who are those at the
line 0691gate?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0692Let my master in, Luce.
line 0693LUCEFaith, no, he comes too late,
75line 0694And so tell your master.
line 0695DROMIO OF EPHESUSO Lord, I must laugh.
line 0696Have at you with a proverb: shall I set in my staff?
LUCE
line 0697Have at you with another: that’s—When, can you
line 0698tell?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
80line 0699If thy name be called “Luce,” Luce, thou hast
line 0700answered him well.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSto Luce
line 0701Do you hear, you minion? You’ll let us in, I hope?
LUCE
line 0702I thought to have asked you.
line 0703DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin And you said no.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
85line 0704So, come help. Well struck! There was blow for
line 0705blow.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSto Luce
line 0706Thou baggage, let me in.
line 0707LUCECan you tell for whose sake?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0708Master, knock the door hard.
90line 0709LUCELet him knock till it ache.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0710You’ll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down.

He beats on the door.

Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 65 LUCE
line 0711What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the
line 0712town?

Enter Adriana, above, unseen by Antipholus of Ephesus and his company.

ADRIANA
line 0713Who is that at the door that keeps all this noise?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
95line 0714By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly
line 0715boys.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0716Are you there, wife? You might have come before.
ADRIANA
line 0717Your wife, sir knave? Go, get you from the door.

Adriana and Luce exit.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0718If you went in pain, master, this knave would go
100line 0719sore.
ANGELOto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 0720Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome. We would
line 0721fain have either.
BALTHASAR
line 0722In debating which was best, we shall part with
line 0723neither.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
105line 0724They stand at the door, master. Bid them welcome
line 0725hither.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0726There is something in the wind, that we cannot get
line 0727in.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0728You would say so, master, if your garments were
110line 0729thin.
line 0730Your cake here is warm within; you stand here in
line 0731the cold.
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 67 line 0732It would make a man mad as a buck to be so
line 0733bought and sold.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
115line 0734Go, fetch me something. I’ll break ope the gate.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
line 0735Break any breaking here, and I’ll break your knave’s
line 0736pate.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0737A man may break a word with you, sir, and words
line 0738are but wind,
120line 0739Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not
line 0740behind.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
line 0741It seems thou want’st breaking. Out upon thee, hind!
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0742Here’s too much “Out upon thee!” I pray thee, let
line 0743me in.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSEwithin
125line 0744Ay, when fowls have no feathers and fish have no
line 0745fin.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSto Dromio of Ephesus
line 0746Well, I’ll break in. Go, borrow me a crow.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 0747A crow without feather? Master, mean you so?
line 0748For a fish without a fin, there’s a fowl without a
130line 0749feather.—
line 0750If a crow help us in, sirrah, we’ll pluck a crow
line 0751together.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0752Go, get thee gone. Fetch me an iron crow.
BALTHASAR
line 0753Have patience, sir. O, let it not be so.
135line 0754Herein you war against your reputation,
line 0755And draw within the compass of suspect
line 0756Th’ unviolated honor of your wife.
line 0757Once this: your long experience of her wisdom,
Act 3 Scene 1 - Pg 69 line 0758Her sober virtue, years, and modesty
140line 0759Plead on her part some cause to you unknown.
line 0760And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse
line 0761Why at this time the doors are made against you.
line 0762Be ruled by me; depart in patience,
line 0763And let us to the Tiger all to dinner,
145line 0764And about evening come yourself alone
line 0765To know the reason of this strange restraint.
line 0766If by strong hand you offer to break in
line 0767Now in the stirring passage of the day,
line 0768A vulgar comment will be made of it;
150line 0769And that supposèd by the common rout
line 0770Against your yet ungallèd estimation
line 0771That may with foul intrusion enter in
line 0772And dwell upon your grave when you are dead;
line 0773For slander lives upon succession,
155line 0774Forever housèd where it gets possession.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0775You have prevailed. I will depart in quiet
line 0776And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry.
line 0777I know a wench of excellent discourse,
line 0778Pretty and witty, wild and yet, too, gentle.
160line 0779There will we dine. This woman that I mean,
line 0780My wife—but, I protest, without desert—
line 0781Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal;
line 0782To her will we to dinner. To Angelo. Get you home
line 0783And fetch the chain; by this, I know, ’tis made.
165line 0784Bring it, I pray you, to the Porpentine,
line 0785For there’s the house. That chain will I bestow—
line 0786Be it for nothing but to spite my wife—
line 0787Upon mine hostess there. Good sir, make haste.
line 0788Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me,
170line 0789I’ll knock elsewhere, to see if they’ll disdain me.
ANGELO
line 0790I’ll meet you at that place some hour hence.
Act 3 Scene 2 - Pg 71 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 0791Do so. This jest shall cost me some expense.

They exit.


Scene 2

Enter Luciana with Antipholus of Syracuse.

LUCIANA
line 0792And may it be that you have quite forgot
line 0793A husband’s office? Shall, Antipholus,
line 0794Even in the spring of love thy love-springs rot?
line 0795Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous?
5line 0796If you did wed my sister for her wealth,
line 0797Then for her wealth’s sake use her with more
line 0798kindness.
line 0799Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth —
line 0800Muffle your false love with some show of
10line 0801blindness.
line 0802Let not my sister read it in your eye;
line 0803Be not thy tongue thy own shame’s orator;
line 0804Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty;
line 0805Apparel vice like virtue’s harbinger.
15line 0806Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted.
line 0807Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint.
line 0808Be secret-false. What need she be acquainted?
line 0809What simple thief brags of his own attaint?
line 0810’Tis double wrong to truant with your bed
20line 0811And let her read it in thy looks at board.
line 0812Shame hath a bastard fame, well managèd;
line 0813Ill deeds is doubled with an evil word.
line 0814Alas, poor women, make us but believe,
line 0815Being compact of credit, that you love us.
25line 0816Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve;
line 0817We in your motion turn, and you may move us.
Act 3 Scene 2 - Pg 73 line 0818Then, gentle brother, get you in again.
line 0819Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife.
line 0820’Tis holy sport to be a little vain
30line 0821When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0822Sweet mistress—what your name is else I know not,
line 0823Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine—
line 0824Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not
line 0825Than our Earth’s wonder, more than Earth divine.
35line 0826Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak.
line 0827Lay open to my earthy gross conceit,
line 0828Smothered in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,
line 0829The folded meaning of your words’ deceit.
line 0830Against my soul’s pure truth why labor you
40line 0831To make it wander in an unknown field?
line 0832Are you a god? Would you create me new?
line 0833Transform me, then, and to your power I’ll yield.
line 0834But if that I am I, then well I know
line 0835Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
45line 0836Nor to her bed no homage do I owe.
line 0837Far more, far more, to you do I decline.
line 0838O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note
line 0839To drown me in thy sister’s flood of tears.
line 0840Sing, Siren, for thyself, and I will dote.
50line 0841Spread o’er the silver waves thy golden hairs,
line 0842And as a bed I’ll take them and there lie,
line 0843And in that glorious supposition think
line 0844He gains by death that hath such means to die.
line 0845Let love, being light, be drownèd if she sink.
LUCIANA
55line 0846What, are you mad that you do reason so?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0847Not mad, but mated—how, I do not know.
LUCIANA
line 0848It is a fault that springeth from your eye.
Act 3 Scene 2 - Pg 75 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0849For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by.
LUCIANA
line 0850Gaze when you should, and that will clear your
60line 0851sight.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0852As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night.
LUCIANA
line 0853Why call you me “love”? Call my sister so.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0854Thy sister’s sister.
line 0855LUCIANAThat’s my sister.
65line 0856ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSENo,
line 0857It is thyself, mine own self’s better part,
line 0858Mine eye’s clear eye, my dear heart’s dearer heart,
line 0859My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope’s aim,
line 0860My sole Earth’s heaven, and my heaven’s claim.
LUCIANA
70line 0861All this my sister is, or else should be.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0862Call thyself “sister,” sweet, for I am thee.
line 0863Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life;
line 0864Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife.
line 0865Give me thy hand.
75line 0866LUCIANAO soft, sir. Hold you still.
line 0867I’ll fetch my sister to get her goodwill.She exits.

Enter Dromio of Syracuse, running.

line 0868ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhy, how now, Dromio.
line 0869Where runn’st thou so fast?
line 0870DROMIO OF SYRACUSEDo you know me, sir? Am I
80line 0871Dromio? Am I your man? Am I myself?
line 0872ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEThou art Dromio, thou art
line 0873my man, thou art thyself.
line 0874DROMIO OF SYRACUSEI am an ass, I am a woman’s
line 0875man, and besides myself.
Act 3 Scene 2 - Pg 77 85line 0876ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhat woman’s man? And
line 0877how besides thyself?
line 0878DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMarry, sir, besides myself I am
line 0879due to a woman, one that claims me, one that
line 0880haunts me, one that will have me.
90line 0881ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhat claim lays she to thee?
line 0882DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMarry, sir, such claim as you
line 0883would lay to your horse, and she would have me as
line 0884a beast; not that I being a beast she would have me,
line 0885but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays
95line 0886claim to me.
line 0887ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhat is she?
line 0888DROMIO OF SYRACUSEA very reverend body, ay, such a
line 0889one as a man may not speak of without he say
line 0890“sir-reverence.” I have but lean luck in the match,
100line 0891and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.
line 0892ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEHow dost thou mean a “fat
line 0893marriage”?
line 0894DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMarry, sir, she’s the kitchen
line 0895wench, and all grease, and I know not what use to
105line 0896put her to but to make a lamp of her and run from
line 0897her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the
line 0898tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives
line 0899till doomsday, she’ll burn a week longer than the
line 0900whole world.
110line 0901ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhat complexion is she of?
line 0902DROMIO OF SYRACUSESwart like my shoe, but her face
line 0903nothing like so clean kept. For why? She sweats. A
line 0904man may go overshoes in the grime of it.
line 0905ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEThat’s a fault that water will
115line 0906mend.
line 0907DROMIO OF SYRACUSENo, sir, ’tis in grain; Noah’s flood
line 0908could not do it.
line 0909ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhat’s her name?
line 0910DROMIO OF SYRACUSENell, sir, but her name and
Act 3 Scene 2 - Pg 79 120line 0911three quarters—that’s an ell and three quarters—
line 0912will not measure her from hip to hip.
line 0913ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEThen she bears some
line 0914breadth?
line 0915DROMIO OF SYRACUSENo longer from head to foot than
125line 0916from hip to hip. She is spherical, like a globe. I
line 0917could find out countries in her.
line 0918ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEIn what part of her body
line 0919stands Ireland?
line 0920DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMarry, sir, in her buttocks. I
130line 0921found it out by the bogs.
line 0922ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhere Scotland?
line 0923DROMIO OF SYRACUSEI found it by the barrenness,
line 0924hard in the palm of the hand.
line 0925ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhere France?
135line 0926DROMIO OF SYRACUSEIn her forehead, armed and
line 0927reverted, making war against her heir.
line 0928ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhere England?
line 0929DROMIO OF SYRACUSEI looked for the chalky cliffs, but
line 0930I could find no whiteness in them. But I guess it
140line 0931stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran
line 0932between France and it.
line 0933ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhere Spain?
line 0934DROMIO OF SYRACUSEFaith, I saw it not, but I felt it hot
line 0935in her breath.
145line 0936ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhere America, the Indies?
line 0937DROMIO OF SYRACUSEO, sir, upon her nose, all o’erembellished
line 0938with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires,
line 0939declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of
line 0940Spain, who sent whole armadas of carracks to be
150line 0941ballast at her nose.
line 0942ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhere stood Belgia, the
line 0943Netherlands?
line 0944DROMIO OF SYRACUSEO, sir, I did not look so low. To
line 0945conclude: this drudge or diviner laid claim to me,
Act 3 Scene 2 - Pg 81 155line 0946called me Dromio, swore I was assured to her, told
line 0947me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark
line 0948of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart
line 0949on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a
line 0950witch.
160line 0951And, I think, if my breast had not been made of
line 0952faith, and my heart of steel,
line 0953She had transformed me to a curtal dog and made
line 0954me turn i’ th’ wheel.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0955Go, hie thee presently. Post to the road.
165line 0956An if the wind blow any way from shore,
line 0957I will not harbor in this town tonight.
line 0958If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
line 0959Where I will walk till thou return to me.
line 0960If everyone knows us, and we know none,
170line 0961’Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 0962As from a bear a man would run for life,
line 0963So fly I from her that would be my wife.He exits.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0964There’s none but witches do inhabit here,
line 0965And therefore ’tis high time that I were hence.
175line 0966She that doth call me husband, even my soul
line 0967Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister,
line 0968Possessed with such a gentle sovereign grace,
line 0969Of such enchanting presence and discourse,
line 0970Hath almost made me traitor to myself.
180line 0971But lest myself be guilty to self wrong,
line 0972I’ll stop mine ears against the mermaid’s song.

Enter Angelo with the chain.

ANGELO
line 0973Master Antipholus.
line 0974ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEAy, that’s my name.
Act 3 Scene 2 - Pg 83 ANGELO
line 0975I know it well, sir. Lo, here’s the chain.
185line 0976I thought to have ta’en you at the Porpentine;
line 0977The chain unfinished made me stay thus long.

He gives Antipholus a chain.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0978What is your will that I shall do with this?
ANGELO
line 0979What please yourself, sir. I have made it for you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0980Made it for me, sir? I bespoke it not.
ANGELO
190line 0981Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have.
line 0982Go home with it, and please your wife withal,
line 0983And soon at supper time I’ll visit you
line 0984And then receive my money for the chain.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0985I pray you, sir, receive the money now,
195line 0986For fear you ne’er see chain nor money more.
ANGELO
line 0987You are a merry man, sir. Fare you well.He exits.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 0988What I should think of this I cannot tell,
line 0989But this I think: there’s no man is so vain
line 0990That would refuse so fair an offered chain.
200line 0991I see a man here needs not live by shifts
line 0992When in the streets he meets such golden gifts.
line 0993I’ll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay.
line 0994If any ship put out, then straight away.

He exits.


ACT 4


Scene 1

Enter a Second Merchant, Angelo the Goldsmith, and an Officer.

SECOND MERCHANTto Angelo
line 0995You know since Pentecost the sum is due,
line 0996And since I have not much importuned you,
line 0997Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
line 0998To Persia and want guilders for my voyage.
5line 0999Therefore make present satisfaction,
line 1000Or I’ll attach you by this officer.
ANGELO
line 1001Even just the sum that I do owe to you
line 1002Is growing to me by Antipholus.
line 1003And in the instant that I met with you,
10line 1004He had of me a chain. At five o’clock
line 1005I shall receive the money for the same.
line 1006Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house,
line 1007I will discharge my bond and thank you too.

Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and Dromio of Ephesus from the Courtesan’s.

OFFICER
line 1008That labor may you save. See where he comes.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSto Dromio of Ephesus
15line 1009While I go to the goldsmith’s house, go thou
Act 4 Scene 1 - Pg 89 line 1010And buy a rope’s end. That will I bestow
line 1011Among my wife and her confederates
line 1012For locking me out of my doors by day.
line 1013But soft. I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone.
20line 1014Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1015I buy a thousand pound a year! I buy a rope!

Dromio exits.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSto Angelo
line 1016A man is well holp up that trusts to you!
line 1017I promisèd your presence and the chain,
line 1018But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.
25line 1019Belike you thought our love would last too long
line 1020If it were chained together, and therefore came not.
ANGELOhanding a paper to Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1021Saving your merry humor, here’s the note
line 1022How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat,
line 1023The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion,
30line 1024Which doth amount to three-odd ducats more
line 1025Than I stand debted to this gentleman.
line 1026I pray you, see him presently discharged,
line 1027For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1028I am not furnished with the present money.
35line 1029Besides, I have some business in the town.
line 1030Good signior, take the stranger to my house,
line 1031And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
line 1032Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof.
line 1033Perchance I will be there as soon as you.
ANGELO
40line 1034Then you will bring the chain to her yourself.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1035No, bear it with you lest I come not time enough.
ANGELO
line 1036Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you?
Act 4 Scene 1 - Pg 91 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1037An if I have not, sir, I hope you have,
line 1038Or else you may return without your money.
ANGELO
45line 1039Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain.
line 1040Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman,
line 1041And I, to blame, have held him here too long.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1042Good Lord! You use this dalliance to excuse
line 1043Your breach of promise to the Porpentine.
50line 1044I should have chid you for not bringing it,
line 1045But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.
SECOND MERCHANTto Angelo
line 1046The hour steals on. I pray you, sir, dispatch.
ANGELOto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1047You hear how he importunes me. The chain!
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1048Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your money.
ANGELO
55line 1049Come, come. You know I gave it you even now.
line 1050Either send the chain, or send by me some token.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1051Fie, now you run this humor out of breath.
line 1052Come, where’s the chain? I pray you, let me see it.
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1053My business cannot brook this dalliance.
60line 1054Good sir, say whe’er you’ll answer me or no.
line 1055If not, I’ll leave him to the Officer.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1056I answer you? What should I answer you?
ANGELO
line 1057The money that you owe me for the chain.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1058I owe you none till I receive the chain.
ANGELO
65line 1059You know I gave it you half an hour since.
Act 4 Scene 1 - Pg 93 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1060You gave me none. You wrong me much to say so.
ANGELO
line 1061You wrong me more, sir, in denying it.
line 1062Consider how it stands upon my credit.
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1063Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.
OFFICERto Angelo
70line 1064I do, and charge you in the Duke’s name to obey
line 1065me.
ANGELOto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1066This touches me in reputation.
line 1067Either consent to pay this sum for me,
line 1068Or I attach you by this officer.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
75line 1069Consent to pay thee that I never had?—
line 1070Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar’st.
ANGELOto Officer
line 1071Here is thy fee. Arrest him, officer.Giving money.
line 1072I would not spare my brother in this case
line 1073If he should scorn me so apparently.
OFFICERto Antipholus of Ephesus
80line 1074I do arrest you, sir. You hear the suit.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1075I do obey thee till I give thee bail.
line 1076To Angelo. But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as
line 1077dear
line 1078As all the metal in your shop will answer.
ANGELO
85line 1079Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus,
line 1080To your notorious shame, I doubt it not.

Enter Dromio of Syracuse from the bay.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1081Master, there’s a bark of Epidamium
line 1082That stays but till her owner comes aboard,
Act 4 Scene 1 - Pg 95 line 1083And then, sir, she bears away. Our fraughtage, sir,
90line 1084I have conveyed aboard, and I have bought
line 1085The oil, the balsamum, and aqua vitae.
line 1086The ship is in her trim; the merry wind
line 1087Blows fair from land. They stay for naught at all
line 1088But for their owner, master, and yourself.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
95line 1089How now? A madman? Why, thou peevish sheep,
line 1090What ship of Epidamium stays for me?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1091A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1092Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope
line 1093And told thee to what purpose and what end.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
100line 1094You sent me for a rope’s end as soon.
line 1095You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1096I will debate this matter at more leisure
line 1097And teach your ears to list me with more heed.
line 1098To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight.

He gives a key.

105line 1099Give her this key, and tell her in the desk
line 1100That’s covered o’er with Turkish tapestry
line 1101There is a purse of ducats. Let her send it.
line 1102Tell her I am arrested in the street,
line 1103And that shall bail me. Hie thee, slave. Begone.—
110line 1104On, officer, to prison till it come.

All but Dromio of Syracuse exit.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1105To Adriana. That is where we dined,
line 1106Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband.
line 1107She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.
line 1108Thither I must, although against my will,
115line 1109For servants must their masters’ minds fulfill.

He exits.

Act 4 Scene 2 - Pg 97

Scene 2

Enter Adriana and Luciana.

ADRIANA
line 1110Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so?
line 1111Might’st thou perceive austerely in his eye
line 1112That he did plead in earnest, yea or no?
line 1113Looked he or red or pale, or sad or merrily?
5line 1114What observation mad’st thou in this case
line 1115Of his heart’s meteors tilting in his face?
LUCIANA
line 1116First he denied you had in him no right.
ADRIANA
line 1117He meant he did me none; the more my spite.
LUCIANA
line 1118Then swore he that he was a stranger here.
ADRIANA
10line 1119And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.
LUCIANA
line 1120Then pleaded I for you.
line 1121ADRIANAAnd what said he?
LUCIANA
line 1122That love I begged for you he begged of me.
ADRIANA
line 1123With what persuasion did he tempt thy love?
LUCIANA
15line 1124With words that in an honest suit might move.
line 1125First he did praise my beauty, then my speech.
ADRIANA
line 1126Did’st speak him fair?
line 1127LUCIANAHave patience, I beseech.
ADRIANA
line 1128I cannot, nor I will not hold me still.
20line 1129My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will.
line 1130He is deformèd, crooked, old, and sere,
line 1131Ill-faced, worse-bodied, shapeless everywhere,
Act 4 Scene 2 - Pg 99 line 1132Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
line 1133Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
LUCIANA
25line 1134Who would be jealous, then, of such a one?
line 1135No evil lost is wailed when it is gone.
ADRIANA
line 1136Ah, but I think him better than I say,
line 1137And yet would herein others’ eyes were worse.
line 1138Far from her nest the lapwing cries away.
30line 1139My heart prays for him, though my tongue do
line 1140curse.

Enter Dromio of Syracuse with the key.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1141Here, go—the desk, the purse! Sweet, now make
line 1142haste.
LUCIANA
line 1143How hast thou lost thy breath?
35line 1144DROMIO OF SYRACUSEBy running fast.
ADRIANA
line 1145Where is thy master, Dromio? Is he well?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1146No, he’s in Tartar limbo, worse than hell.
line 1147A devil in an everlasting garment hath him,
line 1148One whose hard heart is buttoned up with steel;
40line 1149A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough;
line 1150A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff;
line 1151A backfriend, a shoulder clapper, one that
line 1152countermands
line 1153The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands;
45line 1154A hound that runs counter and yet draws dryfoot
line 1155well,
line 1156One that before the judgment carries poor souls to
line 1157hell.
line 1158ADRIANAWhy, man, what is the matter?
Act 4 Scene 2 - Pg 101 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
50line 1159I do not know the matter. He is ’rested on the case.
ADRIANA
line 1160What, is he arrested? Tell me at whose suit.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1161I know not at whose suit he is arrested well,
line 1162But is in a suit of buff which ’rested him; that can I
line 1163tell.
55line 1164Will you send him, mistress, redemption—the
line 1165money in his desk?
ADRIANA
line 1166Go fetch it, sister. Luciana exits. This I wonder at,
line 1167That he, unknown to me, should be in debt.
line 1168Tell me, was he arrested on a band?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
60line 1169Not on a band, but on a stronger thing:
line 1170A chain, a chain. Do you not hear it ring?
line 1171ADRIANAWhat, the chain?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1172No, no, the bell. ’Tis time that I were gone.
line 1173It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes
65line 1174one.
ADRIANA
line 1175The hours come back. That did I never hear.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1176O yes, if any hour meet a sergeant, he turns back
line 1177for very fear.
ADRIANA
line 1178As if time were in debt. How fondly dost thou
70line 1179reason!
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1180Time is a very bankrout and owes more than he’s
line 1181worth to season.
line 1182Nay, he’s a thief too. Have you not heard men say
line 1183That time comes stealing on by night and day?
Act 4 Scene 3 - Pg 103 75line 1184If he be in debt and theft, and a sergeant in the
line 1185way,
line 1186Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day?

Enter Luciana, with the purse.

ADRIANA
line 1187Go, Dromio. There’s the money. Bear it straight,
line 1188And bring thy master home immediately.

Dromio exits.

80line 1189Come, sister, I am pressed down with conceit:
line 1190Conceit, my comfort and my injury.

They exit.


Scene 3

Enter Antipholus of Syracuse, wearing the chain.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1191There’s not a man I meet but doth salute me
line 1192As if I were their well-acquainted friend,
line 1193And everyone doth call me by my name.
line 1194Some tender money to me; some invite me;
5line 1195Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
line 1196Some offer me commodities to buy.
line 1197Even now a tailor called me in his shop
line 1198And showed me silks that he had bought for me,
line 1199And therewithal took measure of my body.
10line 1200Sure these are but imaginary wiles,
line 1201And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.

Enter Dromio of Syracuse with the purse.

line 1202DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMaster, here’s the gold you sent
line 1203me for. What, have you got the picture of old Adam
line 1204new-appareled?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
15line 1205What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?
Act 4 Scene 3 - Pg 105 line 1206DROMIO OF SYRACUSENot that Adam that kept the
line 1207Paradise, but that Adam that keeps the prison; he
line 1208that goes in the calf’s skin that was killed for the
line 1209Prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil
20line 1210angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.
line 1211ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEI understand thee not.
line 1212DROMIO OF SYRACUSENo? Why, ’tis a plain case: he
line 1213that went like a bass viol in a case of leather; the
line 1214man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives
25line 1215them a sob and ’rests them; he, sir, that takes pity
line 1216on decayed men and gives them suits of durance; he
line 1217that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his
line 1218mace than a morris-pike.
line 1219ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhat, thou mean’st an
30line 1220officer?
line 1221DROMIO OF SYRACUSEAy, sir, the sergeant of the band;
line 1222he that brings any man to answer it that breaks his
line 1223band; one that thinks a man always going to bed
line 1224and says “God give you good rest.”
35line 1225ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWell, sir, there rest in your
line 1226foolery. Is there any ships puts forth tonight? May
line 1227we be gone?
line 1228DROMIO OF SYRACUSEWhy, sir, I brought you word an
line 1229hour since that the bark Expedition put forth tonight,
40line 1230and then were you hindered by the sergeant
line 1231to tarry for the hoy Delay. Here are the angels that
line 1232you sent for to deliver you.He gives the purse.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1233The fellow is distract, and so am I,
line 1234And here we wander in illusions.
45line 1235Some blessèd power deliver us from hence!

Enter a Courtesan.

COURTESAN
line 1236Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
Act 4 Scene 3 - Pg 107 line 1237I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now.
line 1238Is that the chain you promised me today?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1239Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
50line 1240Master, is this Mistress Satan?
line 1241ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEIt is the devil.
line 1242DROMIO OF SYRACUSENay, she is worse; she is the
line 1243devil’s dam, and here she comes in the habit of a
line 1244light wench. And thereof comes that the wenches
55line 1245say “God damn me”; that’s as much to say “God
line 1246make me a light wench.” It is written they appear
line 1247to men like angels of light. Light is an effect of fire,
line 1248and fire will burn: ergo, light wenches will burn.
line 1249Come not near her.
COURTESAN
60line 1250Your man and you are marvelous merry, sir.
line 1251Will you go with me? We’ll mend our dinner here.
line 1252DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMaster, if you do, expect spoon
line 1253meat, or bespeak a long spoon.
line 1254ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEWhy, Dromio?
65line 1255DROMIO OF SYRACUSEMarry, he must have a long
line 1256spoon that must eat with the devil.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEto the Courtesan
line 1257Avoid then, fiend! What tell’st thou me of supping?
line 1258Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress.
line 1259I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
COURTESAN
70line 1260Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner
line 1261Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised,
line 1262And I’ll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
line 1263DROMIO OF SYRACUSESome devils ask but the parings
line 1264of one’s nail, a rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, a
75line 1265nut, a cherrystone; but she, more covetous, would
line 1266have a chain. Master, be wise. An if you give it her,
line 1267the devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.
Act 4 Scene 4 - Pg 109 COURTESAN
line 1268I pray you, sir, my ring or else the chain.
line 1269I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
80line 1270Avaunt, thou witch!—Come, Dromio, let us go.
line 1271DROMIO OF SYRACUSE“Fly pride,” says the peacock.
line 1272Mistress, that you know.

Antipholus and Dromio exit.

COURTESAN
line 1273Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad;
line 1274Else would he never so demean himself.
85line 1275A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
line 1276And for the same he promised me a chain.
line 1277Both one and other he denies me now.
line 1278The reason that I gather he is mad,
line 1279Besides this present instance of his rage,
90line 1280Is a mad tale he told today at dinner
line 1281Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
line 1282Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
line 1283On purpose shut the doors against his way.
line 1284My way is now to hie home to his house
95line 1285And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
line 1286He rushed into my house and took perforce
line 1287My ring away. This course I fittest choose,
line 1288For forty ducats is too much to lose.

She exits.


Scene 4

Enter Antipholus of Ephesus with a Jailer, the Officer.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1289Fear me not, man. I will not break away.
line 1290I’ll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
line 1291To warrant thee, as I am ’rested for.
line 1292My wife is in a wayward mood today
Act 4 Scene 4 - Pg 111 5line 1293And will not lightly trust the messenger
line 1294That I should be attached in Ephesus.
line 1295I tell you, ’twill sound harshly in her ears.

Enter Dromio of Ephesus with a rope’s end.

line 1296Here comes my man. I think he brings the
line 1297money.
10line 1298How now, sir? Have you that I sent you for?
DROMIO OF EPHESUShanding over the rope’s end
line 1299Here’s that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
line 1300ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSBut where’s the money?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1301Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1302Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
15line 1303I’ll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1304To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
line 1305DROMIO OF EPHESUSTo a rope’s end, sir, and to that
line 1306end am I returned.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSbeating Dromio
line 1307And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.
20line 1308OFFICERGood sir, be patient.
line 1309DROMIO OF EPHESUSNay, ’tis for me to be patient. I am
line 1310in adversity.
line 1311OFFICERGood now, hold thy tongue.
line 1312DROMIO OF EPHESUSNay, rather persuade him to hold
25line 1313his hands.
line 1314ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSThou whoreson, senseless
line 1315villain.
line 1316DROMIO OF EPHESUSI would I were senseless, sir, that
line 1317I might not feel your blows.
30line 1318ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSThou art sensible in nothing
line 1319but blows, and so is an ass.
Act 4 Scene 4 - Pg 113 line 1320DROMIO OF EPHESUSI am an ass, indeed; you may
line 1321prove it by my long ears.—I have served him from
line 1322the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have
35line 1323nothing at his hands for my service but blows.
line 1324When I am cold, he heats me with beating; when I
line 1325am warm, he cools me with beating. I am waked
line 1326with it when I sleep, raised with it when I sit,
line 1327driven out of doors with it when I go from home,
40line 1328welcomed home with it when I return. Nay, I bear it
line 1329on my shoulders as a beggar wont her brat, and I
line 1330think when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it
line 1331from door to door.

Enter Adriana, Luciana, Courtesan, and a Schoolmaster called Pinch.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1332Come, go along. My wife is coming yonder.
45line 1333DROMIO OF EPHESUSMistress, respice finem, respect
line 1334your end, or rather, the prophecy like the parrot,
line 1335“Beware the rope’s end.”
line 1336ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSWilt thou still talk?

Beats Dromio.

COURTESANto Adriana
line 1337How say you now? Is not your husband mad?
ADRIANA
50line 1338His incivility confirms no less.—
line 1339Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
line 1340Establish him in his true sense again,
line 1341And I will please you what you will demand.
LUCIANA
line 1342Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
COURTESAN
55line 1343Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy.
PINCHto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1344Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.
Act 4 Scene 4 - Pg 115 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSstriking Pinch
line 1345There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
PINCH
line 1346I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
line 1347To yield possession to my holy prayers,
60line 1348And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight.
line 1349I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1350Peace, doting wizard, peace. I am not mad.
ADRIANA
line 1351O, that thou wert not, poor distressèd soul!
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1352You minion, you, are these your customers?
65line 1353Did this companion with the saffron face
line 1354Revel and feast it at my house today
line 1355Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
line 1356And I denied to enter in my house?
ADRIANA
line 1357O husband, God doth know you dined at home,
70line 1358Where would you had remained until this time,
line 1359Free from these slanders and this open shame.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1360“Dined at home”? To Dromio. Thou villain, what
line 1361sayest thou?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1362Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
75line 1363Were not my doors locked up and I shut out?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1364Perdie, your doors were locked, and you shut out.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1365And did not she herself revile me there?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1366Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1367Did not her kitchen maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?
Act 4 Scene 4 - Pg 117 DROMIO OF EPHESUS
80line 1368Certes, she did; the kitchen vestal scorned you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1369And did not I in rage depart from thence?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1370In verity you did.—My bones bears witness,
line 1371That since have felt the vigor of his rage.
ADRIANAto Pinch
line 1372Is ’t good to soothe him in these contraries?
PINCH
85line 1373It is no shame. The fellow finds his vein
line 1374And, yielding to him, humors well his frenzy.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSto Adriana
line 1375Thou hast suborned the goldsmith to arrest me.
ADRIANA
line 1376Alas, I sent you money to redeem you
line 1377By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
90line 1378Money by me? Heart and goodwill you might,
line 1379But surely, master, not a rag of money.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1380Went’st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?
ADRIANA
line 1381He came to me, and I delivered it.
LUCIANA
line 1382And I am witness with her that she did.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
95line 1383God and the rope-maker bear me witness
line 1384That I was sent for nothing but a rope.
PINCH
line 1385Mistress, both man and master is possessed.
line 1386I know it by their pale and deadly looks.
line 1387They must be bound and laid in some dark room.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSto Adriana
100line 1388Say wherefore didst thou lock me forth today.
Act 4 Scene 4 - Pg 119 line 1389To Dromio of Ephesus. And why dost thou deny the
line 1390bag of gold?
ADRIANA
line 1391I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1392And, gentle master, I received no gold.
105line 1393But I confess, sir, that we were locked out.
ADRIANA
line 1394Dissembling villain, thou speak’st false in both.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1395Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all,
line 1396And art confederate with a damnèd pack
line 1397To make a loathsome abject scorn of me.
110line 1398But with these nails I’ll pluck out these false eyes
line 1399That would behold in me this shameful sport.
ADRIANA
line 1400O bind him, bind him! Let him not come near me.

Enter three or four, and offer to bind him. He strives.

PINCH
line 1401More company! The fiend is strong within him.
LUCIANA
line 1402Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
115line 1403What, will you murder me?—Thou jailer, thou,
line 1404I am thy prisoner. Wilt thou suffer them
line 1405To make a rescue?
line 1406OFFICERMasters, let him go.
line 1407He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
PINCH
120line 1408Go, bind this man, for he is frantic too.

Dromio is bound.

ADRIANAto Officer
line 1409What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
line 1410Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
line 1411Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
Act 4 Scene 4 - Pg 121 OFFICER
line 1412He is my prisoner. If I let him go,
125line 1413The debt he owes will be required of me.
ADRIANA
line 1414I will discharge thee ere I go from thee.
line 1415Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
line 1416And knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.—
line 1417Good Master Doctor, see him safe conveyed
130line 1418Home to my house. O most unhappy day!
line 1419ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSO most unhappy strumpet!
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1420Master, I am here entered in bond for you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1421Out on thee, villain! Wherefore dost thou mad me?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1422Will you be bound for nothing? Be mad, good
135line 1423master.
line 1424Cry “The devil!”
LUCIANA
line 1425God help poor souls! How idly do they talk!
ADRIANAto Pinch
line 1426Go bear him hence.

Pinch and his men exit with Antipholus and Dromio of Ephesus. Officer, Adriana, Luciana, Courtesan remain.

line 1427Sister, go you with me.
140line 1428To Officer. Say now whose suit is he arrested at.
OFFICER
line 1429One Angelo, a goldsmith. Do you know him?
ADRIANA
line 1430I know the man. What is the sum he owes?
OFFICER
line 1431Two hundred ducats.
line 1432ADRIANASay, how grows it due?
OFFICER
145line 1433Due for a chain your husband had of him.
Act 4 Scene 4 - Pg 123 ADRIANA
line 1434He did bespeak a chain for me but had it not.
COURTESAN
line 1435Whenas your husband all in rage today
line 1436Came to my house and took away my ring,
line 1437The ring I saw upon his finger now,
150line 1438Straight after did I meet him with a chain.
ADRIANA
line 1439It may be so, but I did never see it.—
line 1440Come, jailer, bring me where the goldsmith is.
line 1441I long to know the truth hereof at large.

Enter Antipholus of Syracuse with his rapier drawn, and Dromio of Syracuse.

LUCIANA
line 1442God for Thy mercy, they are loose again!
ADRIANA
155line 1443And come with naked swords. Let’s call more help
line 1444To have them bound again.
line 1445OFFICERAway! They’ll kill us.

Run all out as fast as may be, frighted. Antipholus and Dromio of Syracuse remain.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1446I see these witches are afraid of swords.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1447She that would be your wife now ran from you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
160line 1448Come to the Centaur. Fetch our stuff from thence.
line 1449I long that we were safe and sound aboard.
line 1450DROMIO OF SYRACUSEFaith, stay here this night. They
line 1451will surely do us no harm. You saw they speak us
line 1452fair, give us gold. Methinks they are such a gentle
165line 1453nation that, but for the mountain of mad flesh that
line 1454claims marriage of me, I could find in my heart to
line 1455stay here still, and turn witch.
Act 4 Scene 4 - Pg 125 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1456I will not stay tonight for all the town.
line 1457Therefore, away, to get our stuff aboard.

They exit.


ACT 5


Scene 1

Enter the Second Merchant and Angelo the Goldsmith.

ANGELO
line 1458I am sorry, sir, that I have hindered you,
line 1459But I protest he had the chain of me,
line 1460Though most dishonestly he doth deny it.
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1461How is the man esteemed here in the city?
ANGELO
5line 1462Of very reverend reputation, sir,
line 1463Of credit infinite, highly beloved,
line 1464Second to none that lives here in the city.
line 1465His word might bear my wealth at any time.
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1466Speak softly. Yonder, as I think, he walks.

Enter Antipholus and Dromio of Syracuse again, Antipholus wearing the chain.

ANGELO
10line 1467’Tis so, and that self chain about his neck
line 1468Which he forswore most monstrously to have.
line 1469Good sir, draw near to me. I’ll speak to him.—
line 1470Signior Antipholus, I wonder much
line 1471That you would put me to this shame and trouble,
15line 1472And not without some scandal to yourself,
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 131 line 1473With circumstance and oaths so to deny
line 1474This chain, which now you wear so openly.
line 1475Besides the charge, the shame, imprisonment,
line 1476You have done wrong to this my honest friend,
20line 1477Who, but for staying on our controversy,
line 1478Had hoisted sail and put to sea today.
line 1479This chain you had of me. Can you deny it?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1480I think I had. I never did deny it.
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1481Yes, that you did, sir, and forswore it too.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
25line 1482Who heard me to deny it or forswear it?
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1483These ears of mine, thou know’st, did hear thee.
line 1484Fie on thee, wretch. ’Tis pity that thou liv’st
line 1485To walk where any honest men resort.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1486Thou art a villain to impeach me thus.
30line 1487I’ll prove mine honor and mine honesty
line 1488Against thee presently if thou dar’st stand.
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1489I dare, and do defy thee for a villain.They draw.

Enter Adriana, Luciana, Courtesan, and others.

ADRIANA
line 1490Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake. He is mad.—
line 1491Some get within him; take his sword away.
35line 1492Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house!
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1493Run, master, run. For God’s sake, take a house.
line 1494This is some priory. In, or we are spoiled.

Antipholus and Dromio of Syracuse exit to the Priory.

Enter Lady Abbess.

Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 133 ABBESS
line 1495Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither?
ADRIANA
line 1496To fetch my poor distracted husband hence.
40line 1497Let us come in, that we may bind him fast
line 1498And bear him home for his recovery.
ANGELO
line 1499I knew he was not in his perfect wits.
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1500I am sorry now that I did draw on him.
ABBESS
line 1501How long hath this possession held the man?
ADRIANA
45line 1502This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad,
line 1503And much different from the man he was.
line 1504But till this afternoon his passion
line 1505Ne’er brake into extremity of rage.
ABBESS
line 1506Hath he not lost much wealth by wrack of sea?
50line 1507Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye
line 1508Strayed his affection in unlawful love,
line 1509A sin prevailing much in youthful men
line 1510Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing?
line 1511Which of these sorrows is he subject to?
ADRIANA
55line 1512To none of these, except it be the last,
line 1513Namely, some love that drew him oft from home.
ABBESS
line 1514You should for that have reprehended him.
ADRIANA
line 1515Why, so I did.
line 1516ABBESSAy, but not rough enough.
ADRIANA
60line 1517As roughly as my modesty would let me.
ABBESS
line 1518Haply in private.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 135 line 1519ADRIANAAnd in assemblies too.
line 1520ABBESSAy, but not enough.
ADRIANA
line 1521It was the copy of our conference.
65line 1522In bed he slept not for my urging it;
line 1523At board he fed not for my urging it.
line 1524Alone, it was the subject of my theme;
line 1525In company I often glancèd it.
line 1526Still did I tell him it was vile and bad.
ABBESS
70line 1527And thereof came it that the man was mad.
line 1528The venom clamors of a jealous woman
line 1529Poisons more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.
line 1530It seems his sleeps were hindered by thy railing,
line 1531And thereof comes it that his head is light.
75line 1532Thou sayst his meat was sauced with thy
line 1533upbraidings.
line 1534Unquiet meals make ill digestions.
line 1535Thereof the raging fire of fever bred,
line 1536And what’s a fever but a fit of madness?
80line 1537Thou sayest his sports were hindered by thy brawls.
line 1538Sweet recreation barred, what doth ensue
line 1539But moody and dull melancholy,
line 1540Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair,
line 1541And at her heels a huge infectious troop
85line 1542Of pale distemperatures and foes to life?
line 1543In food, in sport, and life-preserving rest
line 1544To be disturbed would mad or man or beast.
line 1545The consequence is, then, thy jealous fits
line 1546Hath scared thy husband from the use of wits.
LUCIANA
90line 1547She never reprehended him but mildly
line 1548When he demeaned himself rough, rude, and
line 1549wildly.—
line 1550Why bear you these rebukes and answer not?
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 137 ADRIANA
line 1551She did betray me to my own reproof.—
95line 1552Good people, enter and lay hold on him.
ABBESS
line 1553No, not a creature enters in my house.
ADRIANA
line 1554Then let your servants bring my husband forth.
ABBESS
line 1555Neither. He took this place for sanctuary,
line 1556And it shall privilege him from your hands
100line 1557Till I have brought him to his wits again
line 1558Or lose my labor in assaying it.
ADRIANA
line 1559I will attend my husband, be his nurse,
line 1560Diet his sickness, for it is my office
line 1561And will have no attorney but myself;
105line 1562And therefore let me have him home with me.
ABBESS
line 1563Be patient, for I will not let him stir
line 1564Till I have used the approvèd means I have,
line 1565With wholesome syrups, drugs, and holy prayers,
line 1566To make of him a formal man again.
110line 1567It is a branch and parcel of mine oath,
line 1568A charitable duty of my order.
line 1569Therefore depart and leave him here with me.
ADRIANA
line 1570I will not hence and leave my husband here;
line 1571And ill it doth beseem your holiness
115line 1572To separate the husband and the wife.
ABBESS
line 1573Be quiet and depart. Thou shalt not have him.

She exits.

LUCIANAto Adriana
line 1574Complain unto the Duke of this indignity.
ADRIANA
line 1575Come, go. I will fall prostrate at his feet
line 1576And never rise until my tears and prayers
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 139 120line 1577Have won his grace to come in person hither
line 1578And take perforce my husband from the Abbess.
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1579By this, I think, the dial points at five.
line 1580Anon, I’m sure, the Duke himself in person
line 1581Comes this way to the melancholy vale,
125line 1582The place of death and sorry execution
line 1583Behind the ditches of the abbey here.
line 1584ANGELOUpon what cause?
SECOND MERCHANT
line 1585To see a reverend Syracusian merchant,
line 1586Who put unluckily into this bay
130line 1587Against the laws and statutes of this town,
line 1588Beheaded publicly for his offense.
ANGELO
line 1589See where they come. We will behold his death.
LUCIANAto Adriana
line 1590Kneel to the Duke before he pass the abbey.

Enter the Duke of Ephesus, and Egeon the Merchant of Syracuse, bare head, with the Headsman and other Officers.

DUKE
line 1591Yet once again proclaim it publicly,
135line 1592If any friend will pay the sum for him,
line 1593He shall not die; so much we tender him.
ADRIANAkneeling
line 1594Justice, most sacred duke, against the Abbess.
DUKE
line 1595She is a virtuous and a reverend lady.
line 1596It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.
ADRIANA
140line 1597May it please your Grace, Antipholus my husband,
line 1598Who I made lord of me and all I had
line 1599At your important letters, this ill day
line 1600A most outrageous fit of madness took him,
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 141 line 1601That desp’rately he hurried through the street,
145line 1602With him his bondman, all as mad as he,
line 1603Doing displeasure to the citizens
line 1604By rushing in their houses, bearing thence
line 1605Rings, jewels, anything his rage did like.
line 1606Once did I get him bound and sent him home
150line 1607Whilst to take order for the wrongs I went
line 1608That here and there his fury had committed.
line 1609Anon, I wot not by what strong escape,
line 1610He broke from those that had the guard of him,
line 1611And with his mad attendant and himself,
155line 1612Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords,
line 1613Met us again and, madly bent on us,
line 1614Chased us away, till raising of more aid,
line 1615We came again to bind them. Then they fled
line 1616Into this abbey, whither we pursued them,
160line 1617And here the Abbess shuts the gates on us
line 1618And will not suffer us to fetch him out,
line 1619Nor send him forth that we may bear him hence.
line 1620Therefore, most gracious duke, with thy command
line 1621Let him be brought forth and borne hence for help.
DUKE
165line 1622Long since, thy husband served me in my wars,
line 1623And I to thee engaged a prince’s word,
line 1624When thou didst make him master of thy bed,
line 1625To do him all the grace and good I could.
line 1626Go, some of you, knock at the abbey gate,
170line 1627And bid the Lady Abbess come to me.
line 1628I will determine this before I stir.Adriana rises.

Enter a Messenger.

MESSENGER
line 1629O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself.
line 1630My master and his man are both broke loose,
line 1631Beaten the maids a-row, and bound the doctor,
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 143 175line 1632Whose beard they have singed off with brands of
line 1633fire,
line 1634And ever as it blazed they threw on him
line 1635Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair.
line 1636My master preaches patience to him, and the while
180line 1637His man with scissors nicks him like a fool;
line 1638And sure, unless you send some present help,
line 1639Between them they will kill the conjurer.
ADRIANA
line 1640Peace, fool. Thy master and his man are here,
line 1641And that is false thou dost report to us.
MESSENGER
185line 1642Mistress, upon my life I tell you true.
line 1643I have not breathed almost since I did see it.
line 1644He cries for you and vows, if he can take you,
line 1645To scorch your face and to disfigure you.Cry within.
line 1646Hark, hark, I hear him, mistress. Fly, begone!
DUKE
190line 1647Come, stand by me. Fear nothing.—Guard with
line 1648halberds.

Enter Antipholus and Dromio of Ephesus.

ADRIANA
line 1649Ay me, it is my husband. Witness you
line 1650That he is borne about invisible.
line 1651Even now we housed him in the abbey here,
195line 1652And now he’s there, past thought of human reason.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1653Justice, most gracious duke. O, grant me justice,
line 1654Even for the service that long since I did thee
line 1655When I bestrid thee in the wars and took
line 1656Deep scars to save thy life. Even for the blood
200line 1657That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice.
EGEONaside
line 1658Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,
line 1659I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 145 ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1660Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there,
line 1661She whom thou gav’st to me to be my wife,
205line 1662That hath abusèd and dishonored me
line 1663Even in the strength and height of injury.
line 1664Beyond imagination is the wrong
line 1665That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.
DUKE
line 1666Discover how, and thou shalt find me just.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
210line 1667This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me
line 1668While she with harlots feasted in my house.
DUKE
line 1669A grievous fault.—Say, woman, didst thou so?
ADRIANA
line 1670No, my good lord. Myself, he, and my sister
line 1671Today did dine together. So befall my soul
215line 1672As this is false he burdens me withal.
LUCIANA
line 1673Ne’er may I look on day nor sleep on night
line 1674But she tells to your Highness simple truth.
ANGELO
line 1675O perjured woman!—They are both forsworn.
line 1676In this the madman justly chargeth them.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
220line 1677My liege, I am advisèd what I say,
line 1678Neither disturbed with the effect of wine,
line 1679Nor heady-rash provoked with raging ire,
line 1680Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.
line 1681This woman locked me out this day from dinner.
225line 1682That goldsmith there, were he not packed with her,
line 1683Could witness it, for he was with me then,
line 1684Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,
line 1685Promising to bring it to the Porpentine,
line 1686Where Balthasar and I did dine together.
230line 1687Our dinner done and he not coming thither,
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 147 line 1688I went to seek him. In the street I met him,
line 1689And in his company that gentleman.

He points to Second Merchant.

line 1690There did this perjured goldsmith swear me down
line 1691That I this day of him received the chain,
235line 1692Which, God He knows, I saw not; for the which
line 1693He did arrest me with an officer.
line 1694I did obey and sent my peasant home
line 1695For certain ducats. He with none returned.
line 1696Then fairly I bespoke the officer
240line 1697To go in person with me to my house.
line 1698By th’ way we met
line 1699My wife, her sister, and a rabble more
line 1700Of vile confederates. Along with them
line 1701They brought one Pinch, a hungry, lean-faced
245line 1702villain,
line 1703A mere anatomy, a mountebank,
line 1704A threadbare juggler, and a fortune-teller,
line 1705A needy, hollow-eyed, sharp-looking wretch,
line 1706A living dead man. This pernicious slave,
250line 1707Forsooth, took on him as a conjurer,
line 1708And, gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,
line 1709And with no face (as ’twere) outfacing me,
line 1710Cries out I was possessed. Then all together
line 1711They fell upon me, bound me, bore me thence,
255line 1712And in a dark and dankish vault at home
line 1713There left me and my man, both bound together,
line 1714Till gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder,
line 1715I gained my freedom and immediately
line 1716Ran hither to your Grace, whom I beseech
260line 1717To give me ample satisfaction
line 1718For these deep shames and great indignities.
ANGELO
line 1719My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him:
line 1720That he dined not at home, but was locked out.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 149 DUKE
line 1721But had he such a chain of thee or no?
ANGELO
265line 1722He had, my lord, and when he ran in here,
line 1723These people saw the chain about his neck.
SECOND MERCHANTto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1724Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine
line 1725Heard you confess you had the chain of him
line 1726After you first forswore it on the mart,
270line 1727And thereupon I drew my sword on you,
line 1728And then you fled into this abbey here,
line 1729From whence I think you are come by miracle.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1730I never came within these abbey walls,
line 1731Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me.
275line 1732I never saw the chain, so help me heaven,
line 1733And this is false you burden me withal.
DUKE
line 1734Why, what an intricate impeach is this!
line 1735I think you all have drunk of Circe’s cup.
line 1736If here you housed him, here he would have been.
280line 1737If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly.
line 1738To Adriana. You say he dined at home; the
line 1739goldsmith here
line 1740Denies that saying. To Dromio of Ephesus. Sirrah,
line 1741what say you?
DROMIO OF EPHESUSpointing to the Courtesan
285line 1742Sir, he dined with her there at the Porpentine.
COURTESAN
line 1743He did, and from my finger snatched that ring.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSshowing a ring
line 1744’Tis true, my liege, this ring I had of her.
DUKEto Courtesan
line 1745Saw’st thou him enter at the abbey here?
COURTESAN
line 1746As sure, my liege, as I do see your Grace.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 151 DUKE
290line 1747Why, this is strange.—Go call the Abbess hither.

Exit one to the Abbess.

line 1748I think you are all mated or stark mad.
EGEON
line 1749Most mighty duke, vouchsafe me speak a word.
line 1750Haply I see a friend will save my life
line 1751And pay the sum that may deliver me.
DUKE
295line 1752Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt.
EGEONto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1753Is not your name, sir, called Antipholus?
line 1754And is not that your bondman Dromio?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1755Within this hour I was his bondman, sir,
line 1756But he, I thank him, gnawed in two my cords.
300line 1757Now am I Dromio, and his man, unbound.
EGEON
line 1758I am sure you both of you remember me.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1759Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you,
line 1760For lately we were bound as you are now.
line 1761You are not Pinch’s patient, are you, sir?
EGEONto Antipholus of Ephesus
305line 1762Why look you strange on me? You know me well.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1763I never saw you in my life till now.
EGEON
line 1764O, grief hath changed me since you saw me last,
line 1765And careful hours with time’s deformèd hand
line 1766Have written strange defeatures in my face.
310line 1767But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice?
line 1768ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSNeither.
line 1769EGEONDromio, nor thou?
line 1770DROMIO OF EPHESUSNo, trust me, sir, nor I.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 153 line 1771EGEONI am sure thou dost.
315line 1772DROMIO OF EPHESUSAy, sir, but I am sure I do not, and
line 1773whatsoever a man denies, you are now bound to
line 1774believe him.
EGEON
line 1775Not know my voice! O time’s extremity,
line 1776Hast thou so cracked and splitted my poor tongue
320line 1777In seven short years that here my only son
line 1778Knows not my feeble key of untuned cares?
line 1779Though now this grainèd face of mine be hid
line 1780In sap-consuming winter’s drizzled snow,
line 1781And all the conduits of my blood froze up,
325line 1782Yet hath my night of life some memory,
line 1783My wasting lamps some fading glimmer left,
line 1784My dull deaf ears a little use to hear.
line 1785All these old witnesses—I cannot err—
line 1786Tell me thou art my son Antipholus.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
330line 1787I never saw my father in my life.
EGEON
line 1788But seven years since, in Syracusa, boy,
line 1789Thou know’st we parted. But perhaps, my son,
line 1790Thou sham’st to acknowledge me in misery.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1791The Duke and all that know me in the city
335line 1792Can witness with me that it is not so.
line 1793I ne’er saw Syracusa in my life.
DUKE
line 1794I tell thee, Syracusian, twenty years
line 1795Have I been patron to Antipholus,
line 1796During which time he ne’er saw Syracusa.
340line 1797I see thy age and dangers make thee dote.

Enter Emilia the Abbess, with Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse.

Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 155 ABBESS
line 1798Most mighty duke, behold a man much wronged.

All gather to see them.

ADRIANA
line 1799I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me.
DUKE
line 1800One of these men is genius to the other.
line 1801And so, of these, which is the natural man
345line 1802And which the spirit? Who deciphers them?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1803I, sir, am Dromio. Command him away.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
line 1804I, sir, am Dromio. Pray, let me stay.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1805Egeon art thou not, or else his ghost?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1806O, my old master.—Who hath bound him here?
ABBESS
350line 1807Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds
line 1808And gain a husband by his liberty.—
line 1809Speak, old Egeon, if thou be’st the man
line 1810That hadst a wife once called Emilia,
line 1811That bore thee at a burden two fair sons.
355line 1812O, if thou be’st the same Egeon, speak,
line 1813And speak unto the same Emilia.
DUKE
line 1814Why, here begins his morning story right:
line 1815These two Antipholus’, these two so like,
line 1816And these two Dromios, one in semblance—
360line 1817Besides her urging of her wrack at sea—
line 1818These are the parents to these children,
line 1819Which accidentally are met together.
EGEON
line 1820If I dream not, thou art Emilia.
line 1821If thou art she, tell me, where is that son
365line 1822That floated with thee on the fatal raft?
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 157 ABBESS
line 1823By men of Epidamium he and I
line 1824And the twin Dromio all were taken up;
line 1825But by and by rude fishermen of Corinth
line 1826By force took Dromio and my son from them,
370line 1827And me they left with those of Epidamium.
line 1828What then became of them I cannot tell;
line 1829I to this fortune that you see me in.
DUKEto Antipholus of Syracuse
line 1830Antipholus, thou cam’st from Corinth first.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1831No, sir, not I. I came from Syracuse.
DUKE
375line 1832Stay, stand apart. I know not which is which.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1833I came from Corinth, my most gracious lord.
line 1834DROMIO OF EPHESUSAnd I with him.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1835Brought to this town by that most famous warrior
line 1836Duke Menaphon, your most renownèd uncle.
ADRIANA
380line 1837Which of you two did dine with me today?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1838I, gentle mistress.
line 1839ADRIANAAnd are not you my husband?
line 1840ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSNo, I say nay to that.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1841And so do I, yet did she call me so,
385line 1842And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here,
line 1843Did call me brother. To Luciana. What I told you
line 1844then
line 1845I hope I shall have leisure to make good,
line 1846If this be not a dream I see and hear.
ANGELOturning to Antipholus of Syracuse
390line 1847That is the chain, sir, which you had of me.
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 159 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
line 1848I think it be, sir. I deny it not.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSto Angelo
line 1849And you, sir, for this chain arrested me.
ANGELO
line 1850I think I did, sir. I deny it not.
ADRIANAto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1851I sent you money, sir, to be your bail
395line 1852By Dromio, but I think he brought it not.
line 1853DROMIO OF EPHESUSNo, none by me.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEto Adriana
line 1854This purse of ducats I received from you,
line 1855And Dromio my man did bring them me.
line 1856I see we still did meet each other’s man,
400line 1857And I was ta’en for him, and he for me,
line 1858And thereupon these errors are arose.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUSto the Duke
line 1859These ducats pawn I for my father here.
DUKE
line 1860It shall not need. Thy father hath his life.
COURTESANto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1861Sir, I must have that diamond from you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
405line 1862There, take it, and much thanks for my good cheer.
ABBESS
line 1863Renownèd duke, vouchsafe to take the pains
line 1864To go with us into the abbey here
line 1865And hear at large discoursèd all our fortunes,
line 1866And all that are assembled in this place
410line 1867That by this sympathizèd one day’s error
line 1868Have suffered wrong. Go, keep us company,
line 1869And we shall make full satisfaction.—
line 1870Thirty-three years have I but gone in travail
line 1871Of you, my sons, and till this present hour
415line 1872My heavy burden ne’er deliverèd.—
line 1873The Duke, my husband, and my children both,
Act 5 Scene 1 - Pg 161 line 1874And you, the calendars of their nativity,
line 1875Go to a gossips’ feast, and go with me.
line 1876After so long grief, such nativity!
DUKE
420line 1877With all my heart I’ll gossip at this feast.

All exit except the two Dromios and the two brothers Antipholus.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSEto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1878Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard?
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
line 1879Dromio, what stuff of mine hast thou embarked?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1880Your goods that lay at host, sir, in the Centaur.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSEto Antipholus of Ephesus
line 1881He speaks to me.—I am your master, Dromio.
425line 1882Come, go with us. We’ll look to that anon.
line 1883Embrace thy brother there. Rejoice with him.

The brothers Antipholus exit.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
line 1884There is a fat friend at your master’s house
line 1885That kitchened me for you today at dinner.
line 1886She now shall be my sister, not my wife.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
430line 1887Methinks you are my glass, and not my brother.
line 1888I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth.
line 1889Will you walk in to see their gossiping?
line 1890DROMIO OF SYRACUSENot I, sir. You are my elder.
line 1891DROMIO OF EPHESUSThat’s a question. How shall we
435line 1892try it?
line 1893DROMIO OF SYRACUSEWe’ll draw cuts for the signior.
line 1894Till then, lead thou first.
line 1895DROMIO OF EPHESUSNay, then, thus:
line 1896We came into the world like brother and brother,
440line 1897And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before
line 1898another.

They exit.


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