Bear’s Diary
Contents
23 September 2024
Me just doin me thing, as nooshual.
Marv bein weiwd.
Funnywoof bein weiwd too.
Me not weally know what goin on. Me not weally care.
Me just doin me thing. Bwiwiantwy as nooshual.
Then evewyone goin for weally long wawks wivout me.
Marv goed somwhewe.
Funnywoof goed somwhewe.
Me not weally care. Me just chiww magnwificentwy.
But... can someone pwease come back and tickle me tummy?
Bear Moves House
2 Mar 2024
Hi guys, ‘sme, Bear. Dis holiday is weird and bauwing. So many stairs.
Daddy said “Snowin” and showed me frew binongulates, but me can only see two dogs length in fwont, so me not see anyfing.
Me went outside. Me seed.
We went for little walk from house. Me met a snowman, like in fwozen.
Me twied to eat nose. Mummy said not.
We found field. Me went cwazy!!
Me wun wight. Me wun weft. Me wun up. Me wun down.
Me flyin! Check me ears out.
Me et snow. It tasty.
Me made bwown snow.
Me climbed twee.
Me went home. Dis only ten winnets away.
Me xhausted, and so fwuffy. Me like this holiday. Noo should twy it!
10 Mar 2024
Me livin in stwange stwange place. Stairs evewywhair. Fishes livin downstair. This can’t be me home.
Me twy to get me head wownd this place. Me cannot.
It bewildewin. When we goin home?
Me want especial day just for me.
Me eatin food wivout daddy say yes. Metal taste not nice.
Me dwaggin daddy uphill. It easy. Me just engage me four paw dwive.
Me wun awound evewywhair.
Me do it some more.
Then me did it some more, until me weally tired.
And then me followed mummy. Me and mummy are so same.
Later at home me wealised. Maybe me is home.
When me put me paw on mummy that me home.
24 Mar 2024
Me did find it confwusin at firwst.
But oh me gwod guys, me havin the best time now.
Me wooler of vis place. Me so chillin.
Me takin Mummy for a little walk.
Me takin on a castle all by meself.
Me overcomin evewy obstickle.
Me even got me own spwecial bartroom.
Me tired now. Me a fuwwy splat. Me can’t wait to seein you here.
14 May 2024
Today me went in van. Me not wanted to.
Daddy made bwekfast in van. Me watched.
Daddy ate bwekfast, but it too far away.
Then...
Daddy gived me bwekfast!
Me eatin it so good.
Suddenly me in field, wunning and wunning awound.
Me gettin faceful of dew-dwenched fwowers.
Me wollin awound so much it bwilliant.
Me dwessing up as Yoda after. It like a dweem.
Maybe it was a dweem me don’t know... But why me got wet paws?
Me can’t tell diffwence tween dweem and weality.
13 June 2024
Guys, as noo no, me is pwobibly the most wesplendent magical cweature in the holewidewowld.
But me been tweeted vewy weird, vewy nasty.
Mummy and Daddy, who me twusted, took me to a Bad Pwace and fat-shamed me.
Me hided.
Daddy twied to distwact me. Pwick.
Evil lady did things.
Pulled me bwoken cwaw off. Me scweamed and scweamed.
They not done. Next they took me home and humiwiated me.
Me done. It awful.
Bear’s Devon Holiday
26 August 2023
Dear Marvin and Funnywoof. Me having a ball, which is the best thing that can happen. Me took the hoomans to the beach. Here me is.
Then me dragged the hoomans up to the top of the cliffs, and mummy saw a rainbow over the sea. She liked that. Me not sure why. Noo can’t eat rainbows.
Then it rained tho. Me got me fur suit all wet. Daddy didn’t dry me, or give me a green bone. Me wish me were at home wiv you, eating pizza like we did last time. Miss you, Marv. You too FW. x
27 August 2023
Dear Funnywoof and also Marvin. Big day today. Me bin doon woleplay.
Me played Gandalf in Lawd Of The Wings. NOO SHALL NOT PASS.
Me pwetended being chase by twain in Stand By Me wiv mummy.
Me weecweayted a scene from Jaws, where me is the shark.
Exhausted, made me very hungry. Thanks for the cheese FW.
And so the cycle of life continues.
28 August 2023
Ohhhmeeegod.
So much for one little dog. Do you ever get that guys?
Mummy thinked about the sea.
Then did amazin squimming.
Mummy loved it. Daddy didn’t let me go in.
Then me went shoppin.
Me hit the big twime.
Guys, cars are shit.
Rules are good though right?
Great times, great times.
Exhaustin.
But what the fox is that???
29 August 2024
They after me.
They sayin me fur so heavy me can’t climb up.
It not twoo. Me lazy.
They can’t find me anywhere.
30 August 2024
Dear Funnywoof, dear Marvin.
Today. Oh me God.
They said me was too fluffy.
They said me smelled too good.
Me chillin.
Then...
What me fwip?!
Me half the dog me was.
Wish noo were here.
31 August 2024
Dear Marv and the ‘Woof,
Tough break yesterday. Today me back, big time.
Livin me best life.
Me a natural leader.
Me super popular.
Me majestic.
Me miss noo guys. Not as much as noo miss me, me know.
xxxoxox